Baby on Board?

Dreams DO come true!

2011-07-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

THEY ARE HERE!!!

The quick details: On July 18,2011 at 35.5 weeks Sam and Lily arrived at 531p and 532pm. Samuel Edward was 5lbs 6ozs. 17 inches and Lillian Mae was 4lbs 14ozs. 17 1/2 inches. They had apgars of 9,9 and 8,9. No problems and came home with us!

All the details:

For those that were following this journey you know that at my 32 week u/s it was discovered that Sam had IUGR. Since then i was going in 3x a week for monitoring to see if he was OK still inside the womb. On July 18th i had one of these appts. They were measuring his blood flow through his umbilical cord. They found a 95% restriction. After measuring it over and over and finding normal readings the MFM doc thought itd be best just to deliver bc we were just about 36 weeks and the risks far outweighed the benfits at this point.

The MFM doc called Dr. B and he told us he would deliver us at 5pm that day. It was 11am at this point. Pete and I were shocked, but prepared for this. I was so nervous how the babies would do on the outside and about the c/s in general. Pete and I drove around Providence so he could tie up some lose ends for work and then we went to Target to pick up a few things for the hospital.

I went home and took another shower and off we went. We had to be at the hospital for 3p. I waited for a good hour in the waiting room. Each minute felt like an eternity. I had mixed emotions. I was SO READY for the pregnancy to be over, but i was also scared about what was to come. I also felt guilty that i didnt hug Jack a little longer that morning since it would have been the last time for just the 2 of us..ever! I kept having flashbacks of Jacks delivery and tried to ignore it and just kept thinking that "i have gone though so much, THIS has to work out!"

They FINALLY called me back and di the whole admission process. Once the anethieologist came in and put in the IV, everything felt real. Dr. B came in and was so laid back about the whole thing, everyone was. I felt like screaming at people "im about to get cut open and have TWINS and everyone is walking around like this is NO.BIG.DEAL." I wanted it all to be over and just know everything was going to be OK.

OK so the IV is in and Pete is able to sit with me for about 3 minutes before they took him away again (ahh). They wheeled me to the OR and i thought the room was teeny tiny. Everyone was dressed in toothpaste colored scrubs..it was very strange, like i was in an UFO or something. I slide over on the table and the spinal went in (the anestiologist was awesome and very reassuring). I felt my legs go all warm. I could feel people touching me but no pain. It freaked me OUT. I didnt want to feel ANYTHING!! But the anethiologist kept reassuring me everything was normal and OK.

They they told me they were going to "test" me. Oh boy, cue the anxiety! I felt the pressure and i kept wait ing for pain but i didnt feel it. I heard dr. B says "we're about the start."..I asked where Pete was and he was sent over to me a minute later. It felt like 10 muntes passed until I heard them say "we are at the uterus"..."its clear fluid"..."ITS A BOY!!". Sams warmer was right next to me so i saw him get wiped down and heard his cry right away. He looked great and didnt need any assistance.

Then Lily came out. I couldnt see her but i heard her cry. I told Pete to go over to them. He looked at me like "really? i can do that?". Everything was SO DIFFERENT this time. Pete was able to cut the cord on Sam (there was too many people around Lily). He got to hold them both and bring them over to me. It was all so surreal. I couldnt believe they were OK and the pedis left the room. They were able to stay with us!!! They were perfect! Sam looked ust like Jack and Lily is such a dainty pretty girly girl. Whenever they told me the wweighted i was like "really?" Sam was BIGGER by a half of a pound! But it was his cord in the end that was causing the issue so it all was a good this.

I went to recovery for 3 hours and i felt good. My mom came in to meet the babes and to see for herself everything was OK. I just ket saying over and over"i cant believe this!!"

We went up to the pp floor and were on a an adrelaline rush. Alot of people came in to visit (i work on the floor at the hospital). We feed the babies that night. We both were in complete awe and in shock! Jack came the next day and he was so excited! He loves on the babes throughout the day and asks to hold them all the time.

I felt great the day after the surgery. I was up walking around, no pian, felt like a whole new person without 10 pounds of baby in me! Then....I was sitting on the bed fedling Lily and i felt a warm gush..my insicion had opened up. They ended up having to reopen me (in the bed), take out a hematoma and restaple me (without drugs!). It was awful. Its been 11 days and today i finally got the staples out. We are hoping it doesnt get infected or open back up now that the staples are out.

Being home has been great. The babes lost alot of weight in the hospital so i have to pump and add calories to their breastmilk and im supplementing with 24 cal. formula. So far they are gaining weight. Sam is maybe 5 lbs and Lily is around 4-6 right now. We wake them every 3 hours to feed and last night we started letting them wake up when they are hungry. If one wakes up at night the other is waking up too. During the day we do a 3 hour schedule.

I am so in love. I wish i could love on them both all the time but its not easy with Jack and another babe to take care of. I look forward to feeding times and bathtimes since i get to spend the most time with them then.

I am so happy and LOVE every minute of them.

Im so glad this journey is over. My family and my heart are now complete

35 weeks!

2011-07-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling this may be my last weekly check-in. Since Sunday night i've been having inconsistent painful contractions. Sine they were so infrequent i waited to tell my OB until my appt today.

First the routine stuff was fine. I lost 2 pounds so im back to where i was 2 months ago. So ive gained 29 pounds if i go by what i weighed before the IVF cycle. My BP was fine. I had trace protein but since BP is good then no worries. My blood sugars are also fine and im still diet controlled.

So i told him about the ctxs. He could see i was having them. He checked me and i was 100% effaced but no dilation. He said "i think your having babies today!"...what?!?! So i went over to Triage and i felt fine. They hooked me up and i was having ctxs every 5-8 minutes, some pretty pretty strong! By the time they came back in to check me they hurt pretty good...no change. They gave me a shot of Terbuteline and that calmed them down. I got to go home to hopefully buy me a couple more days. Its been 9 hours since the meds and the ctxs are slowly coming back.

Im pretty impressed with myself to have made it this far! I know if they come now they most likely will be in the NICU for about a week but im trying to think positively that that will give me tine to recover. I really do think it'll be sometime this weekend. Jack says the 19th...we'll see!

34 weeks!

2011-07-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

OK before i start this post im going to apologize on how whiney im going to sound!

I HURT! And i mean H.U.R.T! It started basically the day i turned 34 weeks. I cant walk without holding onto something, it feels like my pelvis is breaking with each step. My back is spasming (which hurts like hell). The Braxton Hicks a tad more frequent and more intense, ive had a few that have woken me up in the middle of the night. I was in so much pain last night that i was dreaming i was in the hospital getting pain meds...My belly is so low (both babies are now head down and so low that they have a hard time finding them on u/s). I have no real signs of labor coming. I think im just feeling the effects have having 2 5ish pounds babies inside my tiny 5-1 body frame.

Aside from all my aches and pains i am SO THRILLED that ive made this far and each day feels like a major accomplishment. 36 + weeks is still my goal..which is 7/20.

Sams Update:

We went this past monday for our doppler flow u/s and everything looks great. We go this monday for a growth scan and if Sam doesnt grow enough and his cord flow looks crappy then im off to the hospital for bedrest so i can get continuous monitoring. Both babies have passed all NSTs/BPPs with flying colors.

So my next goal is to make it to Monday for our ultrasound.

33 Weeks!

2011-06-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Looks fake doesnt it?

So this week was pretty eventful. So ill try to break it down

Last Thursday we had our growth scan. Lily was 4lbs even and looked great. Sam was 3lbs 10oz. The tech didnt say anything to me with there being a concern. They were 150g apart so i thought all was good.

After the scan i had my appt. I finally gained weight and everything looked good, so i thought. Turns out Sam is in the 9th percetile. Off to MFM for a better u/s.

Go to MFM on Monday. I seriously thought they were going to do the scan and say he's fine. Nope, he's now in the 6th percentile (only grew 1 oz from 4 days prior, whereas Lily gained 9). Well its 2 different machines and a different tech so im trying not to read into that too much.

They checked his umbilical cord to make sure the blood flow was normal, it was PHEW! They also found his kidney to be slightly dialated so now we have to talk to a urologist about what that might mean. They also had a genetic conselor come in and tell us it could be a chromosomal issue...WTF?! I seriously wanted to run out of the room!

MOst likely he's just small and he's a twin. The dialated kidney is only .2 over the cut-off...he most likely will grow out of it. These people wanted me throw me over the edge i swear! Im so nervous about the c-section and having twins in general i DID NOT need that! Thank God Pete came with me (he wasnt going to since it was a long appt) bc if they threw all that at me by myself i would have LOST IT!

UG! Anyways...so Sam has IUGR (intra uterine growth restriction). Thats the lovely term they give to babies who are under the 10th percentile. (lily is in the 49th now...she showing whose boss :) ). I also had a NST/BPP that day and they both passed 10/10.

So the plan is:
BPP/NSTs 2x a week...Doppler u/s's 1x a week, growth scan every 2 weeks. If anything looks concerning then they will talk next steps.

My next doppler is next Tuesday and my next growth scan is 7/11. Pete thinks they will take them on the 11th..thats his "hunch"...he better be wrong!

Im really hoping to make it to at least 36 weeks..just 3 more weeks!

32 weeks!

2011-06-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Still hanging in there! This week my aches and pains are just magnified. My back is starting to really hurt, my left leg goes numb when i lay down ro sit for too long, my feet are swollen to the point i can actally feel the fluid move when i walk (ICK!). My belly is so low and heavy it hurts to stand and when i lay on my sides my Round Ligament KILLS. My Round Ligament is so tender it hurts to touch the side of my belly.

These kids move all the time. They are most active at night and early in the morning. Thier movements are starting to hurt. Sam moves so hard he shakes me whole belly. They both ricochet off my hips bones (very weird feeling). Sam pushes so hard it looks like i have a growth sticking out of me! Oh and the hiccups...Sam has them quite a bit and it seems once he stops, Lily has them.

I had alot of appt this week. First i went to the Endocrinologist for my funky fasting blood sugars (100-110). Basically he told me im "on the edge" for insulin but thinks i can control it through diet. My meter also seems "off" so he gave me a new one. I am now only allowed 30g of carbs for each meal but i can have 2 snacks after dinner plus i can have a snack in the middle of the night to help my fasting number. I havent had one number above 100 in the am since! woo-hoo!!

I had my OB appt yesterday. It was overall good. First i had my growth scan. Lily is 4lbs and is still measuring 4 days behind my due date (has been since 18 weeks). SHe is in the 23rd percentile. Sam is 3lbs 10oz and is in the 9th percentile, measuring a week behind. Once they are under the 10th %tile they need to look more closely. So im going Monday to MFM to get a BPP/NST (will have these 2x a wk now) and another scan (they have better equipment). Dr. B said ill prob have scans every week or 2 all depending what they find until i deliver. Otherwise everything else is fine. I measure 40 weeks now, i gained 3 pounds (finally)..so now im up about 30 pounds if i go by what i was before the IVF cycle. My Bp was 128/60 and my urine was fine. I dont go back to him until 7/14 since hes going on vacation (pray these babies dont come until he gets back!).

During the scan the tech commented numerous times how much hair Sam had! She showed it to us and it really was alot! Lily has "some". Sam is stretched out on my right side, head down. Lily is in my ribs on the left side, breeched and all curled up. Their legs are measuring behind (28+ for him 29 for her). I think this is what is bringing their weights down. Jack legs were measuring 6 weeks behind when i had him- he was 18 inches at birth.

So fingers crossed everything looks good on Monday.

31 weeks!

2011-06-15T13:28:00.001-07:00

This is starting to HURT! Im still functioning but its getting tough. Standing for longer than 5 minutes is a big feat right now. My belly is so heavy i can carely stand it. My ribs hurt, i cant breathe, my heartburn is pretty awful somedays, but its all worth it and as much as it hurts im so thankful ive made it this far and still walking around!

My belly is growing by the minute! Im amazed at the difference just 3 weeks ago! None of my shirts fit and i refuse to buy anything else so im alternating btw 2 that somewhat fit and summer dresses. Im wearing summer dresses from last year as shirts and those are even starting to get too small!!

Since my belly is growing by leaps and bounds it is SO itchy! Its also COVERED in stretchmarks. I also have little capillaries on my belly that have burst. My belly will never be sexy again...

Im going tomorrow to the endocrinologist regarding my fasting blood sugars. Ill most likely be put on insulin. My numbers during the day are fine. I even had 2 pieces of pizza today for lunch and it was 87 after.

30 WEEKS!!!!!

2011-06-09T13:23:00.001-07:00

This picture came out awful but you see the belly so thats all that counts!

I had my OB appt today and things are still going well. My BP was 118/66, i had some leukocytes in my urine but he didnt seem to care. I told him my blood sugars are not so great in the morning (my fasting ranges from 100-110). So i have to go to an endocrinologist to see if i should start insulin. I have lost 1 pound so ive gained a total of 22 pounds. Babies are growing though..im measuring 38 weeks! I go back in 2 weeks for a growth scan and another appt.

Im still feeling the same physically. My tailbone, pelvis, hips HURT. I have a hard time walking sometimes. Braxton Hicks rear their ugly head about 5-10x a day.

Mentally im a mess. My hormones are RAGING! Im usually a sensitive person but i feel overly sensitive and feel like i could cry at a drop of a hat. I guess its good this just started happening vs. right from the beginning. My poor husband just keeps his mouth shut (smart man) but others in my life dont know that i dont want their opinions about things. And if you want to throw any kind of criticism my way..ill scream!

My brain is also shutting down. The other day i came out in the living room to get a towel from the laundry. I grabbed the REMOTE. I took my shower and got out and looked for the towel instead i saw the REMOTE on the toilet! LOL! oh vey!

We made a big step this week and bought a MINIVAN!! 5 years ago i never thought id have babies and i now drive a Minivan!

29 weeks!

2011-06-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

better late than never :)

Still feeling good. Tired, sore and uncomfy but grateful and functioning so i have no complaints! The GDM diet is going OK. Im still learning what i can and cannot have. My fasting numbers need to be 100 or below and im always in the 100-105 range. I dont know if that will make me go on insulin or not. I was always a little over with Jack too in the morning and i didnt end up on it. I go see the OB next week so ill ask then. My after meals blood sugar is always around 113-120ish. If its above 120 its only slight (i think the highest was 124). Ive had a few meals that has really spiked it. I guess having onion rings with a hamburger bun wasnt the best of ideas (145)..opps! But i did have a kiddie size ice cream this weekend and it was 113 after... I weighed myself this morning and im down 2 pounds. This same thing happened with Jack. I ended up losing weight for the rest of pregnancy once i went on this diet.

We went car shopping last night. We test drove 2 minivans..both Odesseys. I LOVED the second one. It has 48000 miles on it tho. They have another at a different dealership that doesnt have all the bells and whistles for a few thousand less with 15000 less miles on it. Im going to call to see if they can bring it to them so i can test drive that one. I also want to test drive the Quest. I cant believe im getting a minivan!

The floor in the garage will be done this weekend so it will officially be DONE! So the following weekend we'll be able to move our bedroom down the basement and start the nursery. So everything should be done by the end of the month!

Hoping this month goes by quickly bc we are having babies NEXT month!!

28 weeks!

2011-05-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

28 weeks is another HUGE milestone when it comes to pregnancy. YAY!

I didnt update yesterday because i had my OB appt today and was going to be findong out alot of info.

First off:

Growth Scan... Sam is 2lbs 4oz (1090g) Lily is 2lbs 5oz (1140g). I might be off a bit on the grams but thats approximate. They are still measuring 4 days behind my due date but im not worried about it. I didnt ask about my cervix measurement but Pete said he thinks it was 3.1. The doc didnt say anything so im not too worried about it. Pete said all measurements were 28.1,28.4 but their legs are in the 26th week. Jack also measured like this so their femurs are what is making them measure behind.

C- section Date... July 29th at 3pm!

Glucose test... I failed. I knew i was going too. No surprise there. Ill get my glucometer and such this weekend and start the diet tomorrow.

The appt... My BP was great 118/60-something, urine was good, no change in weight. Im up 23 pounds if i go by what i was the day of egg retrieval. And im measuring 36 weeks.

I go back in 2 weeks. Im still feeling the same. My hips, tailbone and ligaments in my groin all really hurt by the end of the day. Bending over is a joke. I pee 50 times a day (no lie). But all par for the course and i wouldnt change it for the world.

Keep growing babies!!

27 wks/ 3rd trimester/ 70 days til Full Term!!

2011-05-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

Crappy pic but you get the idea.

Im so THRILLED to FINALLY be in the 3rd trimester!! 70 days til im term which is super exciting. Every week that goes by i feel so blessed im still hanging in there. Im still feeling the same. These ligaments HATE me when im standing and thats making it difficult to do much for very long. My hips are starting to get really sore at night. When i wake up the hip im laying on is on fire. When i roll around in bed im now getting some severe Round Ligament Pain. My bladder is also cursing at me and i feel like im in the bathroom more then any other roomin the house.

I still havent heard when my section will be. I told her i preferred 7/29 so im hoping ill get that date but it could be 8/3 too. Either way its one of the 2. I go back next Thurs for a growth scan and an appt. So ill find out then. Im also doing my 3 hour test next Wed. (fun). So ill know for sure if i have GDM again next Thurs.

Awww, Man..

2011-05-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

I had my 26 week appt yesterday. Everything looks good. My BP was 122/68 ( i rechecked it at CVS today and its 110/68 so that makes me feel better, since im usually 110/60's). I measured 32-33 weeks and im up 6 more pounds - total of 23 pounds so far. I am now going every 2 weeks!! When i go back in 2 weeks ill have another growth scan.

After my appt. i was sent over to the lab for the glucose test. I felt like CRAP after i drank the ubery sugary drink....the crappy feeling lasted all day. I felt super tired and just plain ol yucky. I got the phone call today that i failed ...UG! The cut off is 140 and i was a 166. I failed it with Jack too, i think i was 148 with him. I failed the 3 hour with Jack as well and HATED the GDM diet. I asked my OB before the test if i could just forgo the 3 hour if i failed since ill most likely fail it. When he called today he gave me the option to test my sugars for a week and see what happens. I think ill just do the 3 hour...as much as it sucks. So im guessing that will be sometime next week. Hopefully ill be able to eat slightly more carbs this time around since i have twins so it will be more tolerable. The only good point to the diet last time was i lost 8 pounds after i found out i had it and weighed less after i had Jack then when i got pregnant. But im not planning on that happening this time.

Oh, and i filled out the paperwork to book my c-section!! They said it will either be 7/29 (37.2) or 8/3 (38). It has to be 37+ weeks. Hopefully ill find out the exact date next week since i didnt hear from them today. Hoping i make it to the date- whatever it is, but ill be happy with anything over 36 weeks.

26 Weeks

2011-05-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

These were taken on Mothers Day so im few days shy of 26 weeks, but close enough.

Things are going well. Im feeling good. I just get tired by the end of the day. By the time 5pm comes i am counting the minutes for Pete to come home so Jack isnt 100% my reposibility. My ligaments BURN when im too active or standing for too long. I seriously want to stick ice in my pants to ease the pain.

The babes move all around. Sam seriously jumps and kicks all the ime. I probably have 2-3 hours of silence from him. He has hiccups all the time too. My whole belly bounces and i can feel him richocet off my hip bones. His legs are right under my ribcage. havent had any ribs kicks...yet. Lily is still much more quiet but she has her moments where she stretches and tries to move her brother out of the way. She seems to have the attitude that she freaks when shes had enough. I wonder if their personalities will be similar once they are on the outside. If thats the case i think Sam is the one who is gonna give me a run for my money but Lily seems laid back like Jack.

Heartburn is getting worse. I think i took 6 tums the other day. My feet are starting to get swollen. Im still able to wear my wedding rings. My heartrate goes alittle haywire sometimes (around 120)...i gotta talk to the OB about that tomorrow.

Im hoping at my appt. tomorrow ill find out more about when the c-section will be. Im guessing in the 37th week because of my prior history of Vasa Previa and im on the blood thinners. We'll see.

25 weeks!

2011-05-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

Im so excited to finally be "getting up there!". We've got about 3 more months left and i hope they go by quickly! I just want these babies out and healthy. I hate my pregnancy anxiety. I dont have one day that doesnt go by that i dont have the countdown in my head.

At the same time, im so sad my one on one time with Jack is becoming very limited. I know he's going to be so happy and such a good big bro but i still worry about his transition.

Im feeling pretty good. Just large and uncomfy. But im still functionable. Im getting the strange stares out in public and some say "you dropped" which scared the poop out of me but, i carried low with Jack so i think its just how i am pregnant. The babies are moving all over. I still feel Sam much more but when Lily kicks she gives me some pretty good jabs. I pee about 4 times a night and my ligaments in my groin BURN when i stand for too long. All worth it though :)

Last night Pete and I went to BRU and got some little things like bibs and breastpump assesories. It was a fun little "baby date" since my mom had Jack for the night.

Progress is being made in the garage and im hoping by Memorial Day we can move our bedroom downstairs and we can start on the nursery.

24 Weeks!!!!

2011-04-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

Had to throw in a pic of Jack fishing. My FIL gave him a fishing pole a few months back and he's been asking everyday to go. Pete took him a few weeks ago and as you can see, he loved it!

24 weeks!!!! YAYAYAY!!!! This is Viability week. If the twins were born now they have a chance at survival.... but they better stay in for another 13 weeks!! But its good to know "count" now.

This pic was taken on Easter so its a few day shy of 24 weeks but close enough.

Im actually feeling pretty good. Weeks 16-22 were tough bc of the sciatica,But thats calmed down so im doing more now. Im feeling more Braxton Hicks as time goes on. I get prob 5 good ones a day. I hate them, they scared the crap out of me!! My stretch marks from Jack are starting to get bigger and brighter. I noticed this around 20 weeks and now i have about an inch extension on them.

I went Monday ( 23.5) for a growth scan. Both babes weighted 1.3 pounds are are measuring 3 days behind. But thats ok with twins..as long as there isnt a huge gap between the 2 or they are in the 10th percentile. Everything else looked good so that was a huge relief! Ill go in for another scan in 4 weeks to check on them. Sam is now head down and Lily is breech. So all the pokes i get in my bladder and by my belly button is her. She puts her hands over her head like
Jack did. She also still has an anterior placenta so i dont feel her as strong as I do Sam. Sam gives good swift kicks and my whole belly moves when he's moving - which is alot. I wish i could feel Lily more :(

23 weeks!

2011-04-20T07:35:00.001-07:00

Another week down! One more week until a huge milestone - 24 weeks which means if they are born they have a fighting chance but of course i want them in for another 14 weeks!

I had my OB appt last Wed. and everything looked good. My BP was 114/60, i measured 27 weeks, both babies heartrates were nice and strong. Im doing my glucose test next visit on 5/12. I had Gestational Diabetes with Jack so if i dont have it this time i will be shocked!! I go next monday the 25th for my 24 week growth scan. The appt are going to start getting to be more frequent now. Which is good, cause it will make time go by faster!!

Im actually feeling good this week. My sciatica seems to have let up a bit. Being able to modify alot of my activities has def. helped. I do my stretching the PT gave me and i rest when im tired. Dr. B took me out of work for the rest of the pregnancy so thats a huge stress relief! By 5pm im done though. My ribs are killing me, my hips cant take much more pressure and im just plain out exhausted. Thankfully Pete does Jacks bedtime routine so i get some time to relax. Pete has also been great at planning dinner. He's been doing alot of crockpot meals and such. We are def. a good team and i got a great guy!

Ive been trying to take Jack out and do things before im too huge and uncomfortable to do anything. We went to a bday party and to the movies with my sister and neice this weekend and to the library yesterday and today we are going to Kidz Wurld to see baby animals. He told me the other day he wanted friends to play with...im working on it buddy LOL.

I do feel guilty that i feel so uncomfortable this pregnancy and im really not enjoying it much. I love my belly and feeling them move all around but, i hurt. I just want to be 36 weeks and almost done. Pregnancy is such an anxious time for me, i know all to well what can happen so im scared to death. So each day feels like a blessing. I still cant believe this is happening...TWINS!!

22 weeks!!

2011-04-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Not the best picture as i was running out to Target and it was pouring out so i really didnt care about my hair and Pete wasnt home to take my picture.

Anyways 22 weeks. I feel like ive been pregnant F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!! I just want to be in a safer zone. Im so sick of being nervous. Im constantly counting down the days. People tell me the 2nd pregnancy goes by faster cause you have another child. Wrong. The days are dragging! I feel once i get to 30 weeks itll start to go a little faster.

Physically im feel ing better then a few weeks back. Im going to PT 2x a week and the chiro once a week. At PT they have been doing some deep muscle massaging and that has been glorious! I still have days were im in pain but its much more managable now. I def cant go back to work but im not crying everyday, so ill take it!

My stamina is pretty much gone. I can no longer breathe like i use too. I sleep with 5 pillows so i dont feel like i have an elephant on my chest. I get up to pee about 3 times a night and getting out of bed is an Olympic event.

Being pregnant with 2 is sooooo differnt then when i just had Jack hanging out in my belly. Jacks pregnancy was fine physically wise. I never really felt uncomfortable. This time...DAMN! My body hurts everyday. By no means is this a bitch feast, im just stating the facts.

Jack has been awesome through this. He is so excited. I am nervous about how this is going to impact him but i know he's gonna love it once things settle in. I miss my little guy too. I havent really held him in months, i cant take him out and do things like i used too. We cuddle on the couch and i lay with him at night but i miss the "big run and jump into my arm type hugs". I miss Pete too. Im so unconfy and tired that by the time he gets home im so done with the day i have no energy and i go to bed around 8.

This is all worth it though and itll all be a memory and ill have everything i always dreamed of! (and id do it all over again in a heartbeat)!!

20 weeks!

2011-03-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

YAYAYAY!!! This is a huge goal for me. My next one is 24 weeks...28 days.

This past week was exciting because i can finally feel these kids move much more consistently. I feel Sam quite a bit but only feel Lily here and there (she has the anterior placenta i believe).

My sciatica is still a constant problem. Ive gone to PT 2 times and havent felt much relief. I guess its sticking around.

I went to my OB Med appt yesterday and i am now doing the Lovenox 2x a day. I hate these shots but its for a good cause. She wants me to get my TSH checked bc my thyriod looks enlarged but its always enlarged and my levels are always fine. Ill go next week so the results will be available when i go to my OB on the 14th. I go back to her on 6\28 to change over to Heparin. I really hope i make it to that appt still pregs.

So thats it!

19 weeks

2011-03-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

Here's the belly :) Growing by the minute! I dont think there's too much of a difference from 17 weeks, just looks like they moved up a bit. Im feeling good. The chiro did some technique on my pubic bone last week and that helped alot. The sciatica is still a PIA (literally) but im able to tolerate it - for the most part. Im noticing that doing things wipes me out fairly quickly and i get winded easily too. Another majot symtom ive had since like 6 weeks is i am so stuffy! I have been blowing my nose and spitting up mucous for MONTHS! Sexy, i know...

My mom came down the other day and helped me clean. That was a HUGE help (thanks mom!). We're starting to tackle the to-do list. We ordered a shed so we can put stuff from the garage into it. Since we live in a 2 bedroom house we need to do some major rearranging. Our bedroom is going into the basement and we are turning the detached garage into Petes office (he works from home). The twins will then go into our room. The garage is going to be a HUGE project and most likely will take a good 2 months. We're gonna be cutting it close. We cant move our bedroom until its finished bc theres a couch in our basement that has to move first and it can move until the garage is done. SO all of that is causing a wee-bit of stress.

Oh we decided on names... Lily and Sam. Petes loves Lily and so didnt Jack and Jack picked Sam. He heard Pete and I talked about boy names and he heard Sam so he's been calling the babies Lily and Sam as soon as we found out it was B\G...so we went with his suggestion. lol. They are classic and simple names, just what i wanted so im happy :)

Since we just painted our bedroom last year im going to keep the color. Its a very pretty blue. Im just doing breathable bumpers (one pink one plue) and getting cute sheets for them. Im sticking with the brown\blue theme for Sam and Pink\brown for Lily. I got some cute sheets for Sam and Lily too. I also found some really nice soft blankets thats match as well. Im going to get letters for their names with those colors and hang above their cribs. Im also going to paint our dressers an "expresso" like the cribs and put nicer knobs on them. Its the same set Pete had growing up so its 25 yrs old and needs some updated and maybe ill FINALLY get an adult sized dresser!! Wooo-hoo!!

Ok enough rambling!

Mothers Intution

2011-03-18T16:48:00.000-07:00

It's a BOY and GIRL!

I slept ZERO last night i was so nervous, anxios and excited. I really just wanted everything to check out healthy- and it did!

When we got there we had to wait an hour before they finally called us in! Then she kept the screen towards her during most of all the measurments. After about an hour she finally told me Baby A was a BOY! I was so happy Jack would have a brother. Then it took about an hour for her to tell me baby B was a GIRL! This made me a tad emotional because i wasnt expecting to actually have a girl..believe me i would have been thrilled with 2 boys too..but im glad i get both experiences :)

Lily (or Charlotte) weighed 8oz. and Sam (that could change) was 7 oz. One has an anterior placenta and those other is "on the bottom" so im padded all around my uterus so thats why im not feeling them as prominently as i thought i would.

Everything looks good, im so relieved.

After the appt we stopped at Iparty and got the ballons Jack is holding to tell him about his baby brother and sister. He is so excited :)

18 weeks!

2011-03-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

I had an OB appt. today and everything is looking good. My BP was 116/60. I was measuring 23 wks. The babies HB's were both in the 160's. I gained 4 pounds since last month, which right on target. He wants me to continue to gain a pound a week...eek! But i know its for the babies. Im still out of work because of the sciatica and the pelvic pain. I start PT on the 22nd, hoping that will give me some relief. Dr. B told me i most likely wont be going back to work, which is completely fine by me!

Movement is still only here and there. I wish i felt them move more, hopefully in the next couple weeks. I do get some pretty good jabs every now and then. I think im not feeling it so much because im still numb where my section was with Jack.

Friday is the big day to find out whats cooking. Im so excited and just hoping everything is healthy in there! My in-laws are coming to the house to watch Jack while we go so we are going to stop at IParty and pick out 2 ballons that say "It's a..." and bring them home.

17 weeks!

2011-03-10T05:56:00.001-08:00

Yup, im huge. Thank goodness i have a big butt or i think ill topple over in the next few months! Everything is going well. The sciatica and separated pubic bone is getting worse and worse. I think i may need to start PT but i dont have anyone to watch Jack 3 days a week for only an hour. Other than the pain im doing well. Waiting very impatiently for my Level 2 which is next friday.

We've made some progress on the name front. If its 2 girls it most likely will be Lily and Charlotte ( i also like Violet) but doing Lily and Violet, i was told, is kinda corny. For boys Jack likes Sam and keeps going over to Pete saying he wants that name for his "baby brother"...Pete seems like he's caving. We'll see. If its another boy itll probably be Grant.

16 weeks!

2011-03-03T15:46:00.000-08:00

Feeling good, no spotting for 2 weeks now. The only thing is my hips, pelvic bone and sciatica REALLY hurt! Im having a hard time doing much for more then 10 minutes. By the end of the day i can barely move. I've been going to the chiro but its not doing anything. Ive been stretching too with no real relief. But, it's all a small price to pay. I feel like a wimp that im already having such a hard time this early on. Im gonna be a mess in 10+ weeks! Even though im 16 weeks i still cant let go of the fear. I have dreams constantly that i may lose these babies. Im afraid of PTL, incompetent cervix, super prematurity. Im really hoping to get to at least 34 weeks. If i can get into the month of July still pregnant, im gonna throw a party! I really wish i was just niave and dumb but ive seen/know too much about pregnancy. Each day im thankful i made it through. I make it through my anxiety with all of this by setting goals. Here are my goals 3/15 OB appt - CHECK 3/17 St. Pattys Days - CHECK 3/18 Level 2 u/s - CHECK 3/20 1st day of spring - CHECK 3/22 PT appt. - CHECK 3/29 OB med appt - CHECK 3/30 20 weeks - CHECK 4/1 1st day of April- CHECK 4/6 Petes bday CHECK 4/7 Imagination Movers Concert CHECK 4/14 OB appt 4/16 bIRTHDAY PARTY 4/15 Tax Day 4/24 Easter 4/27 24 weeks 5/1 1st day of May 5/5 Cinco de Mayo 5\14 cousins wedding shower 5/20 Moms birthday 5/25 28 weeks 6/1 1st day of June 6/8 30 weeks 6/21 1st day of Summer 6/22 32 weeks 6/28 OB MED appt. 7/1 1st day of July 7/4 4th of July 7/6 34 weeks 7/13 35 weeks 7/20 36 weeks 7/27 37 weeks As i get more appts and such through ill add those too. I like having alot of goals so i feel like im getting somewhere quick. Ill check these off as the time goes by. I cant wait for my Level 2. I cant wait to name these kids!!

15 weeks!

2011-02-23T06:21:00.000-08:00

Another week down!

I *think* i might be starting to feel movement but, it could just be my imagination or gas lol. The nausea still rears its ugly heads every few days but lasts for not long as all. My whole pelvic region and hips hurt real bad as the day goes on. I went to the chiro yesterday and she adjusted me, i felt OK for a few hours and then i was in pain again. Thank goodness im out of work, i would never be able to run around the hospital like this.

Being pregnant with twins is def. different then a sigleton! I dont know if its cause ive already been pregnant and my body is just going right back to where it was when i delivered Jack or what. But i feel alot more uncomfortable then i ever did with Jack.

I havent spotted for 4 days (knock on wood). Im hoping to get my Level 2 u/s date sometime this week. Im dying to know who's in there!!

Out of Work.

2011-02-19T07:14:00.000-08:00

For a month at this point. Im still spotting. Yesterday was suppose to be my appt. but my OB was out delivering a baby. Thankfully he did some office hours this morning for the appts. he missed yesterday.

He did my exam and i definately have a "friable cervix". He took a q-tip and touched it he said "oh yes, it def wants to bleed just with that". He checked to see if i was dialted or anything and im not - thank goodness! This is most likely going to stick around the whole pregnancy. So as long as its not bright red and heavy im going to try not to freak out.

I go back 3/15 and by then ill have my Level 2 u/s and see if i have Vasa Previa again. This is the life threatening complication i had with Jack. Its when blood vessels from the placenta cross the cervix so when your water breaks you and the baby hemmorrage. Jack was in the NICU for 3 days getting blood transfusions and his apgars were only 1,2,2. It was bad. I'll get the u/s date sometime this week.

He did a quick u/s and everything was fine with the babes. Both measured 14+ weeks so all is good!

14 weeks!

2011-02-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

Its been a stressful week for me. Im still spotting here and there and it is driving me NUTS! It just brings back all the fears i had with Jacks pregnancy. By now, with him, i was on bedrest.

On Friday night at work i had a super busy night and didnt stop at all. At the end of the night i had another gush of brown goop. This was after not spotting for 4 days...ug! Thankfully i work at an OB hospital so i ran down just to get a quick scan to make sure everything was OK...it was (phew!). I have what they call a "friable cervix". Apparently any activity, coughing, sneezing, bowel movements can cause some spotting. Since its brown blood they told me not to worry (HA!). Thank goodness i have my doppler...that thing is my lifesaver!!

I started spotting again yesterday (still brown) but it picks up quite a bit when i work - really wishing i had a desk job right now. Also while working my hips ache my belly gets heavy and i just get so tired really quickly. I dont know how much more i can take.

Im going Friday for my OB appt. So im going to tell him my concerns about working and see if he'll take me out. I worked til 13.3 with Jack so i bypassed that! I was hoping to make it to 20 weeks but i dont think its going to happen! He may keep me in since the spotting isnt associated with the babies but he knows my history so hopefully he'll understand where im coming from.

Other than that im doing well. Hormonal migraines have taken over the nausea. I still have major food adversions and prob will never eat certain foods again once im not PG...like bagels, doritos, chips, anything gluten free, chicken noodle soup, tortilla chips. Pizza has been the my major craving, spinahc and fruit come very close to 2nd.

Ill post a belly pic at some point but right now i have a headache and im not showered.

13 weeks

2011-02-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

My ass is officially bigger than my belly! Im sure in due time my butt will look teeny tiny compared to how big this belly is going to get!

So 13 weeks!! woo-hoo :) The spotting thankfully stopped yesterday. Im super exhausted and have no idea how im gonna work the next 2 nights 3-11. I need to nap everyday but usually cant b/c Jack no longer naps. Once Pete is done work, im done! Headaches are awful. I usually have to take 2 doses of tylenol and a can of coke to ease them. But ill take this all in a heartbeat!!

I swore i felt some movement a few times but its not consistent at all so maybe it is just gas. Im getting anxiously excited to find out the genders, name these babies and feel them move. Thats when the pregnancy will seem much more real to me.

My gut is its a boy and a girl. Im really liking the combos:
Charlotte and Cole
Lily and Gavin
2 boys: Cole and Gavin
2 girls: Lily and Charlotte

I havent said anything to Pete yet...figured we'll talk about it when the gender scan happens. He, on the other hand, likes italian names like Gio, Gian, Rocco and Henry for boys and for a girl he likes Lily (but hopefully ill win with Charlotte since im the one carrying these kids!).

Middle name for boy will be Edward (after my Dad) and Mae or Rose - mom and GM middle name and if its 2 girls one MN will be rose b/c my Dad was throwing roses at me when i talked to a psychic.

Next appt isnt until 2/18.

Mother F^&ker!!

2011-02-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

So yesterday i felt fine, went to the bathroom and noticed some brownish discharge...W.T.F?!?! My heart SANK. It was only 730am so the doctors office wasnt open yet...so i had to wait an hour to call. Thankfully they got me in for 9:30 (after i kinda had to beg, cause brown spotting is "normal"...oh HELLS NO!) Sidenote: i work as a nurse at the hospital my doc works at and he's been with me through alot of my fertility drama... i think this helps - one benefit on having a private doc. They KNOW you!

So anyways, i get there, the spotting is minimal but im slightly nervous. He does the u/s and we see the babes moving all around right away with great heartbeats - PHEW! He did a vag exam and said my cervix is irritated...Pete and i had sex the 3 days prior and that same day i had a vag u/s then the morning of the spotting i had some awful mucous caught in my throat and i was coughing and hacking for a good 10 minutes. He said all those things are probably playing a role in the spotting. He gave me some antibiotics for the green mucous ive been hacking up for weeks now.

Since he did the u/s and the vag exam the spotting picked up last night into this morning. I took the weekend off of work to focus on this healing. Laying around all day and feeling every twitch had been driving me berserck. I rented a doopler today to help ease my fears and hoping to get it by wednesday. This all bring back my awful bleeding episodes i had w/ Jack.

I hope by Monday its completely gone so i can go back to enjoying this pregnancy!

12 weeks...the secret is out!

2011-02-02T09:20:00.001-08:00

Ok i think this picture is awful! i feel (and think) i look alot cuter. I think its the angle. Im going to try and post a pic weekly. I cant even give you a "before" pic cause i was huge from the get-go b/c of the OHSS. But here i am in all my glory. FYI im only 5-1 so its going to be quite comical to watch this progression!

Here are "Dora and Boots". This was at our NT scan last week. The pics i got this week didnt look like anything so these are the best i got. Arent they cute?

So 12 weeks woo-hoo!!! I know the 2 T is technically 13.3 but im thrilled with 12 weeks. The nausea is still here and there but nothing like it was weeks 5-11. The prominent symptoms these days are super awful migraines. I have them just about everyday. Tylenol and half can of coke is suppse to help. Well i did that 3 hours ago and i can still barely stand without my head pounding. Im also super tired and just want to lay around all day..no motivation at. all. Im anxiously awaiting the 2T energy boost. I remember feeling awesome with Jack then, hoping that happens again. It def. doesnt help we have about 4 feet of snow on the ground and i think all of New England has cabin fever.

Tuesday was my last ulrasound with Dr. P. I gave her some wine and a card and the staff some brownies and a card. It was a bittersweet day. Im glad to be moving on and taking the next step. I see Dr. B on Monday. Im hoping to get the "big" u/s appt then.

Telling People

2011-01-28T05:36:00.000-08:00

This has actually been quite funny. Since i had OHSS i have looked a good 4-5 mo. preggo even before my positive beta. Everyone i know that i see at work, all my friends, family know i've been going through HELL to have a second baby. Im very open about my struggles since that how i cope. I was out of work until i was close to 6 weeks due to the OHSS...everyone knew i did IVF (had to get a bunch of days off and do switches w/ people...and its kinda hard to hide my medication bag).

When i went back to work i had the worst nausea IN.THE.WORLD. (ok maybe im exagerrating but it was awful)...pair that with small tiny room that smell like feet or patients that eat ethic food...i looked green most of the time. So my big belly and my constant running to bathroom to dry heave gave me away in an instant. Plus my co-workers are like my BFFs, nothing gets by them...so they all know.

My family...well besides the obv. of our parents and siblings i hoped to keep this on the DL until the 2T....BUT i went to a xmas party with my big ol' belly walking in before me...cat out of the bag.

My friends...well alll my good friends who know i was going through all this kept tabs on me and knew my dates for tests and stuff...so no secret there.

So whose left? Extended family and Facebook. Which putting it on FB will tell the extended family (and the ppl that are my "friends"). I am so tempted to put up my NT Scan pic of the twins but Pete said not yet (he has been WAY more quiet about this then me and im pretty sure even his "good" friends dont even know). So once i tag that u/s pic with his name on it...surprise!!

I just want it out there. Im so done with being "cautious" i want to enjoy this. Ive worked my ass off to have this pregnancy. I know that technically the 2T starts at 13.3wks but im pretty sure that if my scan on Monday still looks good im letting the news out once i hit 12 weeks which is 2/2. I have all my u/s pics and belly pics ready to load on here but i cant do it until i upload them from my phone which the only way i can do that if posting it on FB first. Ive tried emailing them to myself but its not working ..grr!

So Monday im saying "goodbye" to Dr. P...i hate that :( She has been so great to me. I wish i could stay with her through it all. But ill be off to Dr. B who i also love but, he doesnt have a Vagina and has never been pregnant so he doesnt really "get it"...But he saved me and Jacks life and he knows my history so im sticking with him. Im going to give Dr. P some homemade wine that Pete made and the staff some baked goods with a card for each. Of course Dr. P's card is going to be all sappy. Its bittersweet. After these babes, we.are.DONE. And THAT is going to be one good feeling!

11 weeks and NT Scan

2011-01-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

At this point the 2nd trimester is teasing me! Im feeling somwhat better nausea wise, its 50% of the day now vs. 100%...so ill take it. I still have major food adversions and nothing but pizza has been sounding good to me. That and fruit. Im exahusted - more like "foggy" all day long. Im so thankful Jack is 3 and not 18 mo. or this would be ALOT harder!

I went yesterday for a quick scan with my RE and everything is still trucking along.

BABY A measured 11.0
BABY B measured 11w2d

I may go back for one more scan next week but i might not since that will be 3 u/s's in a week!

Today i went for my NT Scan. This scan was abdominally (thank goodness cause my vag. needed a break from those damn probes!) According to this scan both babes measured 11 weeks on the nose. Baby A nuchal measurement was 1.2 B was 1.0...so both great! PHEW!!

10 weeks

2011-01-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

Im a day early but i figured id update with my u/s news too.

First off: Both babes are doing great! Both measuring 10w (a day ahead) with a HRs of 169. It was so cool to see the babies today, they were moving and wiggling all around...i wish i could stay there all day and watch them.

Im still feeling icky with headaches, heartburn, tiredness the whole 9 yards that the 1T gives you. The nausea def. wins the race though.

I go back next week for another u/s.... this will be my last RE appt! Im excited about that but i LOVE my RE, i wish i could stay with her the whole time... I have to call my OBs office to schedule the NT scan.

I also went to OB MED and im now on Lovenox 40mg x1 a day. Ill start to wean off the PIO next week so in about 10ish days ill be down to one shot a day woo-hoo!!

9 weeks!

2011-01-12T17:07:00.000-08:00

Still got all the same symptoms...im dry heaving at least once a day now. But i feel yucky all day long. It should be ending soon.

I went to Target yesterday and got some clothes that will actually fit me. My shirts no longer cut it. Even though it still just feels like bloat but i can tell my lower abdomen is getting fuller and heavier. I look like i did with Jack at about 14 weeks. Im hoping the bloat will lessen once i stop the progesterone 2 weeks.

I made my OB MED appt for next tuesday reguarding the heparin and that day im also going in for another ultrasound. Dr. P said she'll continue to keep seeing me until Dr. B takes over so im guessing ill get one more ultrasound after next week.

Im so ready for the 1T to be over....but im thankful there hasnt been any complications!!

8w5d ultrasound

2011-01-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

We still have both babies with 2 heartbeats!

BABY A: measured 8w5d HB 185
BABY B: measured 8w6d HB 176

Im still suffering with 24/7 yuckiness, heartburn, exhaustion, now headaches. But ill take it all in an instant. The doc told me to take a unisom and B6 at night since my nasuea is the worst then.

I called my ob today and they are not seeing me til 2/7..ill be 13w6d! I wanted to do the NT scan so i think i need to call them back to schedule that.

I go back next tuesday to make sure everything is still OK!

8 weeks!

2011-01-04T21:08:00.001-08:00

Still nauseous...it seriously is 24 hours a day. I cant sleep, walk, talk, smell ect. I couldnt even go into the kitchen today b/c something in there was setting off my gag reflex and i kept dry heaving in the sink. I had to have my mom stop at Mcdonalds on her way down to get me a egg mcmuffin cause i couldnt go in there! I am now eating what i can and totally for- going the gluten free diet. I NEED to eat and all those meals are making me sick...the smell alone drives me over the egde. I actually feel a tad better cause im getting more into me.

Some things that have helped me with the m/s....potato chips, jolly ranchers, sea bands, ginger ale, putting snacks at the bedside

The exhaustion has hit too.I sleep whenever possible. I get so tired my body aches.

Heartburn is here...been showing up pretty much daily. Weird since i never had it with Jack.

My bladder can now hold a gallon of urine! i am amazed on how much i pee at night and for how long! lol

Oh, one more thing, i ALMOST have cleavage! lol woo-hoo :)

im loving all of this though, lets me know the babes are in there thriving :)

Phew!

2011-01-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

What a relief...we still have 2 babies with 2 heartbeats!!

BABY A: measured 7w5d (exactly what i am) w/ a HB of 169
BABY B: measured 7w5d w/ a HB of 179

My uterus measures 11 weeks and my ovaries are both the same size as my uterus! No wonder why i look huge!

Everything looks good. I go back next week for another u/s (for my peace of mind) and then the following tuesday. If everything still looks good then we'll schedule one more u/s at 11weeks and then im off to my OB.

Im still feeling m/s 24/7. I havent really puked...just constantly nauseous...but im starving at the same time which is majorly confusing. The exhaustion is also hitting and im sleeping whenever i can. My bras are getting tighter which is super exciting to me! lol :)

Thanks everyone for the support. Im shocked how many people read this. Im trying to keep this on the DL on facebook until the 2T and i appreciate no one letting the cat out of the bag.

7 weeks!

2010-12-29T06:07:00.000-08:00

I heart Wednesdays :)

Im feeling pretty blechy today but im trying to ignore it and get out of the house today. Jack has a Toys R Us gift card he wants to use (he wants Lots-o-huggie Bear)...so thats my big plans.

I emailed my nautropath about eating some gluten since the gluten free stuff (bread, bagels, pasta ect.) is making me gag and all i want is Chicken Noodle soup! She said shes just worried about me having an intestinal reaction to it since its been so long. Well i had some chicken Noodle Soup last night and it was fine! im still going to try to stay away from it as much as possible but i dont think im going to deprive myself anymore.

So symptoms:

the nausea is pretty constant, i havent thrown up since last week (which i think was just a stomach bug anyways) and i dry heaved on xmas. But i feel pretty crappy most of the day.
Im starving...i need to eat what seems like every hour but i can only tolerate small portions. Apples have been by far my biggest food source. I am so sick of tortilla chips. Pretzels and chips and chicken broth really help my belly.
My boobs have def grown but they dont hurt, just funny feelings every now and then.
I have Preggo brain really bad....its actually pretty frustrating.
I still get some pulling in my uterus here and there too but not as much as in the beginning.
The exhaustion isnt bad, i just overall have no energy but i dont feel like i cant keep my eyes open...which is good since i have Jack to care for.

Christmas :)

2010-12-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. We did :) This was the first year Jack "got it" so it was really exciting. On christmas even we went to my SIL's...i felt pretty crappy the hwole time but it was still fun to see everyone. That was the first time i took Zofran and it took 2 hours to kick in! Ever since i took it though i havent been as bad with the nausea. I had to work and it was crazy but whats what you get for being a nurse!

Christmas Jack was so excited. Pete the night before made cookies and put out oatmeal and carrots wit Jack (he videotaped for me). Jack all sorts of things...legos, moon dough, stinky garbage truck, imaginext spaceship, alphie, zhu zhu battle arena, crafts, weeble treehouse, clothes. He's been playing ever since!

Pregnancy wise im doing well. Im nauseous about 75% of the time but it doesnt seem as bad as last week..or maybe im just getting used to it. Eating has been a feat since i feel pretty gross and the smells really get to me. I still get some crampiness here and there and i had one night with some pretty bad round ligament pain. My bbs dont hurt but feel funny here and there. I look about 4 months pregnant but ive lost 4 pounds from not being able to eat alot. The exhuastion is starting to kick in. Between feeling queasy and tired, during my short bursts of normalcy i try to get alot done cause once im tired its all over!

One more week until the next u/s and im getting antsy!

Blech...

2010-12-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

I am so nausous! I am not complaining at all...ill take it in an instant. It started the day of the u/s and it really hasnt let up. I vomited at work last night and it was so bad i had to come home early. Im not going to try and be a hero and called to ask for some Zofran. I havent taken it yet but im glad i have the option.

I have no appetite but im starving.. weird, i know. Everything im craving (Papa Ginos pizza, Wendys chix sandwich, itailian grinder) is all stuff i cant have cause of the gluten free diet. And if i eat another corn chip i think ill scream!

Im finding sucking on candy helps alot..ive had so many pieces my tongue hurts!

This is surreal!

2010-12-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

We got 2 heartbeats!! HEARTBEATS!!!!! If you dont know my history the only other pregnancy that had a heartbeat is my wonderful little boy!

BABY A - measured 6weeks 110bpm

BABY B- measured 5w6d 102bpm (im 5w5d)

Im in shock! Im still cautious but each day helps me embrace this.

Im staying on the prednisone for another 2 weeks but weaning down from 10mg starting this week.

I go back Jan 3rd for another u/s and after that ill have one more u/s and im realeased to the OB. Seems like shes releasing me at 10 weeks.

Merry Christmas! <3 <3

Lots of emotions

2010-12-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

Well yesterday was my family Christmas party. Since the OHSS is making me look a good 4 months pregnant i was trying to hide my situation...well, i failed! I was there 5 minutes and the questions started coming. So the news is out. I was trying to keep the TWINS part out too but that came out as well. Oh well.

I hate that i cant enjoy this. I feel like i need to see heartbeats before i can truly breathe a little easier. The 2T will start 2/2...im counting the days!

Tomorrow i go back for another u/s..ill only be 5w5d but the doc wants to make sure theres growth from the last one. I doubt we'll see heartbeats but maybe we'll get lucky.

Pete is pretty much freaking out. The day we found out he came home and called around to banks to see if we qualify for a construction loan ( we only have a 2 bedroom house). He made a spreadsheet of our finances and were putting caps on how much we can spend grocery shopping and such so we can get a good down payment and get out of this tiny house. We're going to make it work though. If all works out we are going to move our bedroom down cellar and put in a bathroom down there..make our room the babies room..and convert the detached garage into an office. Pete works from home so he cant be in here with a 4y.o and newborn twins and try to work.

Jack....i think this has been my biggest concern. Jack is my little buddy, my pal...we do everything together. He is OBSESSED with me. Constantly loving on me, always needs to be next to me. Im so nervous i wont have the time to love him as much as i do now. I would stay up 24 hours to be able to give all my kids all the love they want. I just hope this doesnt change our relationship too much. I know he's gonna love having bro and sisters...he asks for them ALL the time.

Im not looking fwd to the newborn stage. I love babies but those first 3-6months are tough. Maybe itll be different with 2 and i wont have time to dwell on the nursing and the exhaustion. Jack STILL doesnt sleep through the night. Im gonna be a zombie.

Nursing...i nursed Jack for 15 months. I loved it. Can i nurse twins and have Jack to take care of? I HATE pumping...HATE IT! But i know i can do it. Itll save us a boat load of money so im going to try my hardest but i know for a fact im gonna have to supplement too. Jack was a lazy nurser maybe these babies will be better at it.

Pregnancy...My energy is GONE. I have NONE. I just want to lay on the couch and rest. Im STARVING. Im trying to get in alot of protein to help the babes grow. Im craving fruit and soup. I think i ate 3 apples and 2 pears yesterday on top of a whole plate full from the xmas party before i went to bed! Queasiness/Dizziness hits if i dont eat or just randomly throughout the day..but nothing too bad. My boobs have periods of soreness where it takes my breathe away and they are itchy!

So far, so good....so far, so good.

2010-12-16T17:49:00.000-08:00

Why did i write that twice do you ask??

Because its TWINS!

They are both measuring 5w5d (im 5w 1d) so thats great. There was a fetal pole and yolk sac in each sac. I cant believe it!!!

I have pics that i keep looking at to help it all sink in.

So about my beta drama that gave me a complete heart attack for 48 hours...they thought it was a week apart not 4 days. Their protocol is to do the beta a week after the second so they never looked at the dates. My Dr. P was awesome about it took a good 15 minutes to calm me down. After that we did the ultrasound. I had a feeling from the get-go that it was twins so i wasnt really surprised. We were probably the most calm couple they have ever had that just found out that they are having twins. We know we have a long way to go...

But for right now, in this moment, everything is good. I go back Monday for another u/s to check growth and to see if there is a heartbeat. Ill only be 5w5d though so who knows.

TWINS!!!

Beta #3

2010-12-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

First off im feeling SO MUCH better! Im still bloated but everything is back to normal...it feels good to feel good again!

So onto my drama today. My beta is 2100 @ 20dpo. Doubling time of 56 hours. I was going to be happy with anything over 2000 so i was happy until the nurse said the doctor (who isnt mine btw) thinks thats "borderline"... WTF??

So of course ive been Dr. Googling up a storm...

Once your beta reaches 1200 it can take up to 96 hours to double and im well within the range of 48-72 hours of doubling....PLUS im still off the charts for a singleton or a twin pregnancy according to betabase. 2 or 3 babes might have implanted and im losing one is also a possibility.

They want me to come back on thursday for another beta and an u/s. I thought about it tonight and im am NOT doing the beta. Id rather go by just the u/s. I should have refused the 3rd beta too...UG!

Trying to remain positive.

Turning around?

2010-12-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

Im afriad to say it but i *think* im starting to really feel better. My belly is still really bloated, im having heart palpatations, short of breathe but, i dont feel like im dying!

The worst part is the intestinal cramps i get. They are the worst is my belly is empty.

Pregnancy symptoms are not really sure of. The main one is some crampiness here and there and my boobs will hurt for short periods of time. Im not sure if the nausea is OHSS related or pregnancy...oh and i could eat.a. house.!

They want me to go back toesday for another beta - just to torture me i guess but, they also need to check on the OHSS. If the beta rising correctly it should be around 2400 at that time.

happy news!!

2010-12-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

299 to 647!!! doubling time of 43 hours...

Symptom wise, its hard to tell since this OHSS is prety much kicking my ass.

I really wish i could be super estatic but im still so scared... damn RPL!

OHSS sucks donkey balls!

2010-12-10T03:54:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night i woke up in EXCUCIATING pain. I felt like my intestines were going to explode. I seriously thought i was going to die, it hurt so bad. Pete brought me to the hospital (thank goodness my mom was here cause i dont think i would have been able to wait for anyone to come get him). I was shaking and crying it hurt so much. I took 2 Tyl #3's and bby the time i got to the hospital i felt 50% better.

The Triage OB's dont see much OHSS so they were all sorts of concerned over the fluid in my lungs, my tachypneas (fast breathing) and tachycardia (my HR was 120's)...i tried to explain ive been like this for 3 days but the PAIN is what is concerning. They did a chest x-ray and i had "moderate plural effusions", they did ABG's and all sorts of other bloodwork.

IN the end i stayed the night for observation. Nothing happened for the rest of the night so i came home yesterday morning.

I have to take the Tyl #3's cause the belly pain is so bad. Its all my oragans all smushed, on top of the Progesterone making my intestines being sluggish, im not having a good time. Dr. P came in and said my blood was "turning around" so i should start feeling better in the next day or so.

I sure hope so cause this is awful!

BETA #2 today....eeek!!

Results are in!

2010-12-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

Drumroll please....

at 14dpo (or 11dp3dt) my beta is 299!!

299!

RPL has ruin me because im not super excited..yet! I wish i was running around the house screaming but im still very guarded. Ill feel much better on friday once we know if it doubled or not.

299 is fantastic i just need to wrap my head around it.

Oh, i gained another pound and 2 inches around my belly. Im still short of breathe but im managing..nighttime is the worst.

299!!

BTW my beta with jack was 261 at 16 dpo..

This is horrible!

2010-12-07T20:57:00.000-08:00

I havent slept in 3 days..i am in so much pain. My belly is 40 inches around!!! 40! I get attacks in my belly and it feel like soemone is ripping my insides out. If i do too much activity i cant breathe for a good 10 minutes. I can only eat about 5 bites before i become short of breathe or get severe stomach cramps...my lungs are burning, the heatburn is awful.

i feel like im dying,this sucks!

This is def in the top 3 worst things ive had to deal with...It was not this bad last night.

They said it can get worse - you have got to be kidding me!

I cant lay down, i cant sit up, i cant roll on my side, if i stand for too long i get dizzy.

I went in today and i gained 1 1/2 pounds in a day and my belly grew a half inch. I have to go back again today to get more blood work and measurements.

I had to take TYl #3's tonight to relax me cause i just cant take it anymore.

BETA tomorrow!...hoping this is all worth it!!

OHSS

2010-12-06T13:01:00.000-08:00

This morning i woke up and started doing things around the house i became short of breathe. This weekend everyday i felt more and more uncomfortable so i wasnt surprised.

i called the RE and they had me come right in. My BP was 158/82 my pulse was in the 120's my respirations were 28-32...they did a u/s and there is considerable amount of fluid in my abdomen. The fluid is pushing up on my oragns which is whats making me very uncomfortable.

The RE said this could indicate im pregnant since this is a late OHSS but its not a definite. I havent taken a test cause im too scared to see a negative test and have to struggle to breathe...thatd make for a bad day...

My blood work came back "hemoconcentrated" so its thick since im dehydrated. I need to go back tomorrow for a repeat. I need to try to drink alot of gatorade to get the fluid out. Thats hard since my belly cant hold much with the presuure. Ive been regurgitating ( nice, i know)..everytime i take a sip.

Im just really hoping this is because im pregnant with a healthy bab(ies) ...

8dp3dt

2010-12-05T05:29:00.000-08:00

I am so bloated...seriously i look 5 months pregnant. I am so uncomfortable. It started thursday night and just keeps getting worse. It feels like i have a ballon in my stomach. Im burpy but it doesnt really realif much pressure. Im really hoping its mild case of late OHSS since that means this may have worked...but im not getting my hopes up.

My uterus has had quite of bit of activity in it...mostly feels like a dull achiness.

My bbs get some sharp pains in them every so often but nothing to r eally write home about.

im still really dizzy.

4 more days...

getting scared... 6dp3dt

2010-12-03T04:24:00.000-08:00

So its still to early to test or to really feel any symtoms but that doesnt mean the lack of feeling much is making me a tad nervous that this didnt work...

What a i am feeling...

still dizzy - idk if this is preogesterone side effect

sore bb's

the cramping/pulling has basically been non exsistent for a couple days..ill feel a little tug but nothing major. Sometimes it feels like ive got deep little period cramps but it only lasts for a few seconds. when i got pregs with Jack i remember being at work and i could barely stand up i had some pretty serious cramps...i couldnt even stand up straight! i keep waiting for that to happen.That was the day before my beta.

vivid dreams - i wont even tell u what ive been dreaming about!

Now all these symtoms would prob go unnoticed if i wasnt a crazy person and noticing every little twinge...im hypersensitive to my body right now.

6 more days...

Prog check

2010-12-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

is was 84...i did my PIO injection - well Pete did it - about 2 hours beforehand so that could be why its so high.

Last night i didnt feel much activity in my uterus...this morning i felt some pressure and felt that here and there throughout the day but nothing major. I mostly just felt slightly dizzy all day. My bb's are slightly sore and i get shooting/burning pains in them every now and then...its more burning then anything.

8 more days... im afraid for the 2WW to end b/c it could be the end of my hope...i like how these 2 weeks i can pretend everything is going to be OK...

3dp3dt and Jack :)

2010-11-30T04:52:00.000-08:00

Thats code for 6 days since "ovulation" so ive got 9 more days til i know the results.

So the obsessing has begun...

Yesterday 2dp3dt :
Started feeling some good cramping/burning in my uterus. Def something going on in there. But is it just the work of the progesterone? Im very bloated still but i think thats just the prog. I had a slight case of "fire nipples" yesterday which made me excited cause the last time i had that was Jacks pregnancy...but it was also closer to beta day so idk know if the hormones are just playing tricks on me. I also had some dizziness yesterday..not bad but there. Also im exhausted and all i wanna do is lay down....does prog do that?

Last night i woke up with the burning in my uterus.. i think?? thats a good sign but i dont want to get my hopes up. I also have that ligament pulling....but already?

I know the blastocyst hatches on day 5 and starts implanting very soon after...so im hoping all this is real and not just ,y body playing tricks on me.

So Jack :)....

My little love bug. Im watching him play with playdoh right now and he is just the light of my life. That little boy is such a sweetheart. He is obsessed with me. He kisses and hugs me all day long. At bedtime he wants me to lay with him until he falls asleep. He loves for me to tickles his to sleep...def my kid :) At his 3 yr appt...he weight 29 3/4 pounds and 36 1/2 inches. Still in the 25th percentile...my lil peanut :) I wish i could put into words how much lovei feel for this little person.
He's super excited for Christmas...this isthe first year he kinda gets it. Every commercial on TV he gets so excited! So far his list is:

Weeble Treehouse - its a baby toy and i try to tell him that but the commercial is winning him over lol
Stinky Garbage Truck
Lotso Hugging Bear
Duplo
Imaginext Spaceship
Zoobles

We've tried to take him to Santa a few times but he fell asleep. He asks everyday if Santa is coming. Pete bought a blow up Santa and put it outside and Jack loves it!

Transfer

2010-11-28T04:03:00.000-08:00

This transfer was by far the most uninformed one ive ever had. With PGD i always got 2+ phone calls from my doc telling me how the embryos are doing, thier stages and what will be transferred.

I go no phone calls this time asides from the IVF lab to tell me 6 were progressing.

Yesterday - the day of the transfer- we woke up, dropped Jack off at my IL's and heading in.

They recently moved my RE's office from a cozy office to a more contemporary building that now has 2 floors. Im still getting use to the place. My ER i was stuck in a small room with the door closed while i slowly slipped into a panic attack (not full blown but shaky and crying)..all my anxiety during the cycle erupts on this day.

So anyways..same thing happened...they put me into a small room told me to take off my pants and wait...and wait. Thanksfully Pete was with me or i would have gone nuts. We had NO IDEA how many they wanted to transfer, how the embabies were doing, ect.

After an hour and a hlaf the doctor and the embryologist finally came in. It was Dr. Robins who was really nice and he told me "we are transferring 4 today"....I was like "WHAT?!"....i guess Dr. P said to put in 4 so they "hatched" 4. He said the 4th one was only a 4 cell and most likely "wont make it"...So we didnt have the heart to say NO...what if he/she is a little fighter and thats the one that sticks?

In this room i could barely see the screen so i didnt get to see the flash of light when the embryos went in....They told me to lay there for 15 minutes (another new thing) then i could get up, pee, get dressed and leave.

So i walked out of there with:

2- 8 cells
1- 7 cells
1- 4cells

inside my uterus...

I layed around all day yesterday and plan on doing the same thing today.

Now we wait..

Day 2 report

2010-11-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

Welp i go tomorrow at 9:20am for transfer. I have:

3 -4 cells
3 - 2 cells

So when we (Dr. P and I) talked about transfer w/o PGD her plan of attack was to put in 3-4 on day 3.....im completely against 4...nervous about 3 but i trust her. I guess we'll find out tomorrow what is recommended and me and Pete will go along with whatever they suggest - expect for the "4" part...

So it 14 hours ill be PUPO (pregnant- until proven otherwise) :)

Oh and i finally feel better..People ask me all the time what ER feels like. Its funny my ovaries dont hurt at all afterwards its the top of my belly. It basically feels like someone kicked me in the stomach 20+ times and i have internal bruising.

I cant do acupuncture until Monday so we are going to take the weekend and hang out as a family, which is my most favorite this to do :)

Fert Report!

2010-11-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

9 eggs retrieved...8 mature...6 fertilized!!

Im psyched with that number...i was going to be happy with 3 so 6 is awesome! They said ill have a day 3 transfer on Saturday. Ive never done a day 3 transfer but i think its time for something different :) Im pretty sure we'll put in 3.

Im feeling better today, still sore but OK. Im missing out on Turkey Day at my inlaws but i need one more day to really relax. Plus Jack doesnt get the concept im in pain and wants me to do everything (which i happily do, but im spent now).

Pete was also sick last night and went to bed early last night and i was put on Jack duty...

pete made me a gluten free turkey dinner before he left, what agreat hubby :)

Egg Retrieval

2010-11-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

Besides anxiety everything went fine...my IV got put in on the first attempt so thats good news. Dr. Wheeler did my retrieval, i never had her before but she was pretty nice. The only thing is is we only got 9 eggs... All my other retrievals i had 12-20 eggs so this is the lowest i ever had but my E2 was the highest i ever had...weird. Im hoping for 5 to make it to the growing stages. Im guessing ill end up with a 3 day transfer since i didnt get many eggs. If thats the case i feel ok putting in 3 even i know triplets are still a possiblity.

I cant contrl this so whatever is to happen will happen. Im just hoping these 9 eggs are all mature so they all get a chance to fertilize. Im suppose to call at 2 for my fert report...but im thinking they may call me earlier since its thanksgiving.

PLEASE.....

Triggering

2010-11-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

So my E2 yesterday was 1474 and today it was 2175

Todat showed 19 meaurable follicles...they all were measuring smaller then yesterday?! Which makes no sense but im triggering so im happy with that.

Going in Wednesday at 700am...

Dr. P cant do my ER which sucks but what can u do...

hopefully this is it!

follie check #3

2010-11-21T12:36:00.000-08:00

Even tho im at a 22, they are pushing me another day

L: 22,20, 17, 17

R: 21.5, 21.5, 16, 15.5, 14.5, 14, 13.5, 13

So thats 12 measurable...20 all together since i have 8 less then 12. She wants the little guys to catch up a bit more...so lets hope for a good dozen :)

My E2 was in the 840's yesterday and i forgot to ask today...ill find out tomorrow when i go back.

Follie Check #2

2010-11-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

I made some good progress..

L0: 19.5, 18,16.5, 13 4<12

RO: 20.5, 19, 14.5, 13, 13.5, 12 4<12

So i have 18 follicles 10 measurable and 5 mature. My biggest is a 20.5 so im getting one more day..thank goodness...curious to see what tomorrow is going to bring.

Yesterday my E2 was 343..

Follie check #1

2010-11-19T07:20:00.000-08:00

So we have 14 follicles with 5 measurable and 3 are mature with my biggest being 19. The nurse thinks ill be back tomorrow...she said the ones that werent measurable were all around 11 so hopefully by tomorrow, all will be measurable and that 19 will stall in growth so i can a few more days/eggs under my belt - no pun intended :)

LO: 19,17.5, 14, 12 3<12
RO: 15.5 6< 12

Will edit when i get my E2 level.

Now things get interesting

2010-11-17T15:00:00.000-08:00

After 6 weeks of waiting we are finally in the stim phase. Today im on day 4..i usually "stim" for 9-10 days. I went in for a E2 check today and things are moving ALOT faster then my last 3 cycles. My e2 was 274 (which is even higher then what it was with Jack). Egg retrieval will be either tuesday or wednesday at this rate.

I go backFriday for an u/s to see whats really cooking in there!

Im begging for this to work this time....

Officially a pin cushion

2010-10-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

Started the Lupron yesterday. I ovulated today so egg retrieval and such will be the week of thanksgiving!

So far so good on the gluten free diet...my skin is clearer i sleep so much better and i dont look 4 months pregnant on a daily basis! YAY :)

Back to IVF

2010-10-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

Well AF decided to show 3 days early so we're getting this show on the road. Ill do my CD 3 bloodwork tomorrow and start Lupron on day 21..so thatll be Oct 24. Egg Retrieval will most likely be in the 2nd week of November. Im excited to get this rolling again.

So i went to the Naturopath last week and it was really interesting. She told me i may have a gluten sensitivity and going on a gluten free diet will help lower my ANA (which is now 1: 160 nucleaor patterned, whatever that means) but it was 1:320 when trying for Jack so its lower but that was taken while on the Medrol.

So im now gluten free - i feel a difference, def not as bloated as usual so i think this chick was on to something. But let me tell switching over to all organic on top off gluten free - OUCH! on my wallet! But the food is actually pretty good...i confess, i ate a whole thing of cookies in 3 days! But for 6 dollars i should have enjoyed them!

Back to the Naturopath....she also put me on a "more potent" PNV, and antioxident formula called NAC and extra vitamins called ACES plus Zinc. I cant remember if it was the vitamins or the antioxidents but one of them was used in a study for RPL and the women who took it had a 82% success rate! Ill take it!!

She also told me to put Castor Oil on my belly and put heat on it, that will help too, somehow.

I really liked her and i hope this all works.

So for the next 6 weeeks ill follow the diet, go to Acupuncture 2x a week, take more supplements, eat all Organic and wish. hope. and pray. Pete says we should add "go to church" to the mix, which i think is a good idea.

Diagnosis: Bad Luck

2010-09-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

So i saw Dr. P today and we went over my new plan. She was actually glad i came in to go back to IVF since this plan wasnt working.We are going to do IVF no PGD (1. b/c im a bit jaded by it now with back to back losses and 2. she doesnt think itll be covered and i dont have 6000 to throw down to pay for something thats not a sure thing).

Shes not super keen on me taking the prednisone but she going to continue the medrol for 4 days and then go to 5mg of prednisone to maintain the effects of the medrol but if i get pregnant it will increase to 10mg until a heartbeat is detected then we'll wean off of it.

We are going to do 3 weeks worth of Doxycycline b/c i have a history of endometritis (infection of the uterine lining) and my last antibiotic treatment was 8+ months ago so just to cover our bases.

We are going to push for a Day 5 transfer and put in 2 of the best. Pete and i do not want to put in more then 2 since we got pregnant with the triplets and thats not something we can handle.

My period is due next thursday so the ER will be in November.

She said i have a 2/3 chance of having another baby - thats a 66.6% chance....lets hope.

GRRR

2010-09-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

So i went in for my u/s and i have one follicle on my RIGHT side... UG. I have no tube on my right side AND im spotting for some strange reason. The follicle was a 20, which means they are having me trigger tonight. Im only on CD 8! So basically this cycle is a bust.

Im calling tomorrow to get an appt with Dr. P to go over doing IVF again. Im so over only getting 1 follicle...i need to get this party started!

Now the next question... to PGD or no PGD...

Here we go, yet again

2010-09-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

So i am on day 3 of stims. Im on 100units of Follistim which i feel is WAY too high since i was on 175 with my IVF and got 12-20 eggs! I go in tomorrow for a E2 check to make sure the dosage isnt too high. My ovaries are def. working. If i have too many follicles for plain ol' ovulation then im going to tell them to do IVF (why not, whats another cycle?) ...i am NOT wasting eggs. I prob wont do PGD with it though...thinking ahead of myself. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Tomorrow...

is Jacks BIRTHDAY!!! My "baby" is 3!! I'm so exciting for tomorrow since he has been counting down his birthday for like 100 days lol. It all started when i told him id get him a toy he wanted for his birthday...so EVERYDAY he asks when his birthday is! We got him the Imaginect Bigfoot, and little thingslike stickers, coloring books a pillow pet, buzz lightyear costume, Toy story books, towels. My mom got him Toy Story on ICe tickets for tomorrow so he is super psyched. I cant wait to see him face tomorrow when he ses the presents and its finally his birthday!!

Tomorrow is also a reminder that my uterus DOES work!

I joined a message board online with women who are going through this hell too....of course i beat everyone with the number of losses i've had :( and most are in the 40's trying to have kids. Alot of ppl write to me and ask if ive been tested for immune stuff.

No i havent...the basics, yes but the 1000 dollar work-up...no. I dont see the need, my RE and my OB dont see the point either. If anythings comes back + im already on the meds. I dont feel comfortable with Intralipids...so heparin, BA, 4mg of Folic Acid, b complex, medrol, prednisone, vitamin e, EPO, Prog in Oil and PNV will have to do.

I really think PGD#2 loss was a true chemical or a ectopic since my shoulder killed as soon as i found out i was pregnant...the triplets, i think my body was like "hells no"..so im really, truly hoping the next pregnancy is a good one. Maybe the PGD did damage my embryos?! I really wish we knew but we dont...

If im not pregnant by Janurary i think i may do IVF again. I need this to be done with.

Sad

2010-09-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Maybe its cause im PMSing but i am just soo sad today. Its not only sadness, but frustration, fear, and lonliness...

What if this never happens again? Ive always wanted a big family (3 kids) and with all this bullshit I'm OK with 2. I just never thought this was going to be so hard the 2nd time around. I thought i d a few IVF cycles, get pregnant and move on with my life....But here i am one year later, 3 IVF cycles, a chemical pregnancy and a loss of triplets and 3 Clomid cycles under my belt...the only thing i have to show for what I've gone through is a broken heart.

I search high and low on the internet for some kind of inspirational stories but i may find one out of 100. I know my own story is inspiration but i need more at this moment. I'm trying so hard to keep myself afloat and be happy but today I'm tired and I'm sad...This is NOT FAIR and I'm OVER IT. "Everything happens for a reason", "Relax and it will happen", "but you have Jack.."....I want to tell everyone to SHUT THE FUCK UP....just give me a hug and say "this sucks and im sorry!"

I know ill be OK b/c 90% of the time, i am. But today im not OK im irritated at the world..

I asked Pete about doing IUI this month with the Follistim but he said "why since my sperm is fine..." Which is true. My "day one" will most likely be tomorrow. SO we'll get the ball rolling again soon. Ill def be doing Follistim - just need to make sure they will allow timed intercourse with it.

UG!

2010-09-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

Negative at 12dpo. WTF!

I could write for days about how much this is starting to piss me off, but im sure you already know... I know this is only our 3rd month trying on our own but its never taken us this long to get pregnant. Im just glad it not a misscarriage, thats what i keep saying. When this happens again it needs to be PERFECT!

Going to move onto Follistim this cycle and hope for more then one egg.

11 dpo

2010-09-09T04:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates but there really isnt one. I really dont have many symptoms. Which i dont know what to think about since theres months were i have a gamete of them and im not pregnant. But ill list out the ones i have just for the fun of it. Bloating, mont. tuburcles, blue veins, irritabe, burning BB's.

Im 11 dpo today, i havent taken a test yet. Im going to Acupuncture today and hoping she feels my pulse and says she think im pregnant. If so ill prob take a test in the morning.

Im really not looking forward to doing this this again if im not. But i have no choice lol.

Progesterone Level

2010-09-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

35 at 5dpo!! woo-hoo!!

2 in 1

2010-09-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

So Acupuncture:

I REALLY like the lady im going to now, by far the best one (out of 4 ive tried). She told me not to eat/drink anything cold (which is not easy btw), dont pick up Jack (also, hard) eat alot of protein, and put warmth on my feet. Im seeing her once a week and she says this can help. I sure hope so!

Fertility:

Last thursday on day 10 i went in for my u/s. I was hoping for 3 follicles since i took 150mg of Clomid. Well i didnt get 3, i got 1 and it was on my left side (thats 3 months in a row with follies on my left side!) So it only takes one. The follicle was 28.5 and they said i would def be ovulating in the next couple days. Pete and i went to NY the next day for a wedding so we had the whole weekend to ourselves! So im hoping we accomplished our goal! oh my e2 was 530ish (so im hoping there was another follies hiding behind the big one).

Today i am 3dpo and ever since Sunday ive been sick with a slight cold/fever. Im really hoping this doesnt hurt anything. Today i started feeling some slight crampiness but i know its way too soon...Fingers crossed!

Plan #523

2010-08-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

So injectables are out this month since Pete and i are going away for a wedding during the weekend of Ovulation (note the capital O for importance) and i need to be monitored. I didnt realize it was going to be super extensive so Dr. P upped my Clomid to 150mg (as per my suggestion b/c im a super PIA). Im going in Thursday for my baseline and start the Clomid tomorrow.

Im also throwing in acupuncture (again) this cycle. Alot of my friends/co-workers have been telling me about this lady for months so i figure id give it a try since one of my friends just went to her and got pregnant the first month after struggling for a bit. She even takes insurance which is a major plus! Acupuncture usual just feels like "more needles and appointments" but ill give it a shot, maybe ill like it this time. Ive also been doing chiropractic ajustments for 6 months and thats suppose to help.

I also do other crayz things because it MAY help...i drink lemon water (suppose to detoxify your body), i take a crapload of supplements fish oil, evening primrose, vitamin e...the normal baby aspirin, 100x more Folic Acid then the normal person, i switched my shampoos and conditioners, body wash all to organic also my facewash is organic now...ill move onto organic makeup at some point...my deoderant is organic. I buy organic milk, and fruits and veggies...Trader Joes is my new favorite store.

I Hope. I think positive. Every month i figure out my due date and i focus on that all month long. I think about how the season will be, how old jack will be, i even look at pajamas in Tagret and think "those would be cute the hospital"....Im crazy lol...or i call it HOPEFUL, DETERMINED, POSITIVE. I cant let mesyelf feel sorry for myself. Other people in the world have cancer or just lost a child, their husband, their job, house ect. I got a great husband, son, house, job, dogs, family and friends. Im not going to spend one minute complaining about what i DONT have when i have so much.

But that doesnt mean im not going to try like HELL to get what i want!

Day 1

2010-08-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

Again. This. Sucks.

Yes, no, maybe?!

2010-08-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

These are the questions in my head. I got the call yesterday that i definately ovulated. My progesterone was 15.3 (or was it 50, im going to check my labs today when i go to work).

I def. have symptoms. I noticed yesterday (5dpo) my montgomery tubercles are very prominent and i have a bunch of CM (some EW)...this morning (6dpo) i have some pulling on my right side just like i had with Jack and my last 2 pregnancies. Im bloated my boobs feel heavy and im tired and hungry. All these symptoms started yesterday with more pronounced today.

We'll see. I havent decided when ill test. Ill probably start around 10dpo, which is wednesday.

i never "make sense"

2010-08-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

So for the past 8 days ive gone in for monitoring 6 times! Thats more then when i was doing IVF...the point of doing clomid was for things to be easier on me, sheesh!

Anyways my ovaries never showed a follicle bigger then 12mm. But i told the nurses about 3 days ago i started to get EWCM (an ovualtion sign) and that i was feeling alot of twinges on both sides, but still no follicles were growing. Well yesterday the nurse called me and said "You saw your ovaries, theres nothing there BUT your bloodwork indicates you are about to ovulate!....Torri, this just doesnt MAKE SENSE!"....HAHAH all i could do was laugh because this is the story of this journey! So the nurse told me to "have intercourse" yesterday and today.

The next step is for a progesterone check on friday. If that indicates ovulation ill start all my meds.

Im pretty sure this cycle is a bust but crazier things have happened!

Hope?

2010-07-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

So my CD 10 ultrasound wasnt so exciting. I had 2 follicles, on eon each side, both measuring 12mm. Last time i had 2 also but were much bigger at 24mm and 17mm. My e2 was also only 76 (343 last time). So i go back Monday for another u/s to make sure these follies keep growing. I def wont be O'ing on CD 13 though. Im guessing more like 16ish. We'll see. Also my stripe was only 5.7, which is pretty sucky but it has time to thicken so im hopeful monday will bring better results. If this month doesnt work out im going to ask to go on Follistim next cycle.

So tonight at work (im a postpartum nurse....yes one of the worst professions while going through this hell but i seriously love my job - most days). So anyway, i had a pt who had twins after 6 miscarriages and doing IVF/pgd..it took her 5 cycles to get these babies. She also had a son the same age as jack and had a ectopic where to lost her right tube, just like me...crazy! But talking to her tonight gave me hope. I know my own story gives me hope too but sometimes its nice to know your not alone.

For the first time in months ive felt like this may actually happen again! :)

Day 1

2010-07-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

Day 1 ....i think im becoming a very agitated RPL'er....about time right?

Im sick of day 1's.. and 3's and 10-14's and day 21's and days 10-14dpo. Im hating them all because they are my countdown and everyday i have to know what "DAY" it is. And as long as i have to know the DAY then that means im still stuck in this HELL!

Im becoming SO. OVER. IT!

I wrote to the SIRM message boards this week to see what their opinion is. And they think i need to test for Natural killer cell activitiy and DQ alpha antigen (basically saying pete and I's DNA are too "alike" and my body doesnt "get it" that it s a baby)...So should i spend hundreds of dollars to get these tests done? IDK. If they come up negative ill go on intralipids to help suppress my immune system but if this IS my problem HOW DID I HAVE JACK?! UG!!! Plus i really dont want to do IVF again but they only like to do IVF in conjuntion with treatment since you know your putting in healthy babes (yes id do PGD again)....BUT this is a out of network faciltiy which means id have to pay 80% of the IVF and the PGD wont be covered at all most likely. So thats WAY too much money on a gamble.

Plus im on the prednisone now and that supresses the immune system. I feel like i need to give this treatment plan a "go" before i move onto experimental treatments.

This is what is in my head these days...

How many does it take?

2010-07-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

I must have taken 10 tests in 2 days and all are negative!! GRRR.

I was really hoping this was going to work on the first try on our own. My period is due tomorrow so in 2 weeks or so we'll just try again.

TRY AGAIN.

UG! Ive been really scared that this is just not going to happen. I try to talk to Pete about it and tell him my concerns that we may just NOT have a 2nd baby...and it makes me really sad :( But he is still positive. I just dont get how i did this just 2 years ago and my body is just not getting the memo.

I know i have a good life and that makes me feel stupid for wanting this but, its always been my dream to be a mom. Everytime Jack hugs me or says "i Lub you" i melt and im so sad this may be my only time i get to enjoy this with a little one. I know im lucky to even experience this. But i always wanted a big family.

I just want this to happen.

A Negative Test at 11dpo

2010-07-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Im so mad at myself that i tested this early because i know full well i could still be pregnant but no, ive been kinda mopey all day b/c of it. Hoping tomorrow i get a good 2nd line.

I havent tested this early since trying on my own 5 years ago. With all my IVF cycles i waited until day of beta. STUPID STUPID.

I have some symptoms...My nipples are going crazy with mong. tubucles (which is usually my tip-off), im extremely bloated, super hungry after i just ate and unbearably cranky.

Hoping this negative test is nonsense!!

The jist so far.

2010-07-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

So im currently 7dpo which means a little baby should be implanting right about now. It's weird not to be couped up on the couch and enjoying a fabulous 4th of july weekend! I also missed no work due to IVF and between me and you, being able to "try" with my hubby was quite nice! :)

As far as symptoms, who really knows, nothing too crazy...just the normal twinches and pains.

All the shots have been fine.

I got my prog checked today 49.10! Thats the best ive ever had! My ovaries obviously like me better when i O on my own!! So i started 5mg Prednisone today. Im hoping that makes all the difference in the world!

Here we go....again!

2010-06-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

Here's some pics from our recent vaca to N. Conway, NH. I love this kid :) We went to the waterslides today for the first time and the giggle he did the whole way down each time (which was at least 50 times) makes all this bullshit worth while....i get a pretty awesome prize at the end.

So here is the long awaited update. I got my period on 6/16... did 100mg of Clomid 3-7 went in for my HSG on thursday 6/24 (all clear, and it wasnt too bad..got alittle dizzy when they put in the ballon and everyone kept saying "you ok, you ok"...made me nervous but it was fine.) Then friday on day 10 i went in for follie check and i had 2 follies on my left side (same side i have my tube YAY!) and they measured 15.5 and 23.5 so ill most likely release both. My e2 was 353.

Ive been taking OPK's every 4 hours the past 2 days and got a + last night (sun) and this morning (mon). Pete and i got to business on Friday night, sunday morning and this morning im gonna try to get one more time out of him and then we wait. I know ill O today since im bloated and have pain on my left side...so if we get to one more time either tonight or tomorrow am then we did all we can do.

I start my medrol, heparin and progesterone in 3 days. I go in for my prog check next monday. Then ill start Prednisone until a baby with a heartbeat is detected.

I will get pregnant its just will it work with this protocol? Hoping so....

The Plan

2010-06-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

So after i vented yesterday i realized i hadnt updated to give my next plan and what happened after that ultrasound. You can pretty much guess it was all over very shortly after that. I started bleeding on 5/17. The doctor wants me to wait a month to give my body a bit of a break (or maybe my sanity). So here i sit waiting for my period. I dont even know if i ovulated yet....ug!

Once i get my period i call and get 100mg of Clomid and schedule a HSG to check my lone tube (i have never had this test before). The rationale was i get pregnant so why check it but with 1 ectopic and one suspected ectopic they want to make sure everything looks good. The clomid will also help me ovulate on my one "good" side each month too.

Im staying on my 4mg Folic Acid, BA, Vitamin E, PNV and im guessing Lovenox (im going to ask for heparin since thats what i was on with Jack, even though i know its the same thing, im superstitious.)

Our major change (besides having sex rather then getting poked and prodded) is starting prednisone (medrol) after ovulation and staying on it until we see a baby with a heartbeat then weaning off of it....so itll probebly be until week 10 or so.

I do have a +ANA antibody so this, BA and heparin will most likely work ( it better!).

So youll hear from me once my period finally decides to show!

Sick.of.it.

2010-06-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

I feel like screaming!! Everywhere i turn someone is knocked up! This past week we went to Storyland with Jack and i saw all over the place women pregnant with their 2-3 yr old with them...and there i was just FAT since i stress/pity eat (which im going on WW monday). But im seriously getting SICK OF THIS!! This was NOT suppose to be this hard this time around WTF!!! It is a year ago this month we decided to have another baby and hear iam still going through this hell! I felt desperate to have Jack and i havent felt that way this time around until this past week.

Im breaking down, i just want to complete my family, feel whole and be D-o-N-E with this!

Im happy for everyone that is preganant, believe me. But it starts to get disheartening when people email you and need advice on how to cope with trying or going through a miscarraige and one after another they get pregnant again and have healthy babies while your still sitting here trying, coping, wishing, praying, crying and living a life that doesnt feel complete. I love what i have and i am TRULY greateful but, im having a moment and im pissed!

I just want another baby and everyone with their baby bumps, sonograms pictures, and pregnancy announcements can go suck an egg!

Rollarcoaster ride.

2010-05-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

UG! So we went in for my u/s this afternoon and we saw the 3 sacs right away. The yolk sac is still in baby A and B and C are empty and looked "small". She didnt sem to give those 2 much hope. She spent alot of time on sac A and measuring it but i could tell she wasnt very hopeful.

Im only 5w1d so she said she wants to give it another couple days and see what happens. MY beta was only 53. I do feel crampy today so who knows. But it wasnt very promising AT ALL.

So we talked alittle bit about a plan. Im done with IVF. I cant do it anymore esp if im getting the same results with the IVF. So Pete and i are just going to have fun and let nature take its course. Ill get a HSG just to check my other tube and then stay on the Baby asprin and go on Progesterone supplements to be safe. MIGHT do clomid but not sure.

Im very sad but i know it will work again at some point. I need to live my life and not let this be such a big part of it.

Wasnt expecting this!!

2010-05-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

Ok so i got the call today that my beta dropped to 103 and was told to stop all meds. The nurse asked how i was feeling and i told her i was really dizzy (which ive had for a good 4 days), and i had some slight shoulder pain which i knew was just muscular. She told me i needed to go to the hospital and have a quick u/s to make sure it wasnt another ectopic....UG!

Thankfully i had my mom with me and Tracey took Jack. We get to the hospital and they do the ultrasound and the tech is seriously in my vagina for 45 minutes! I could tell she was looking at something very intently. It was driving me CRAZY. I tried and tried to ask her what she was seeing but, no response. I was even trying to look in her glasses to see the reflection of the screen, lol.
My legs started shaking so my mom came over and held one of the them. And she said i see black holes and i told her its probably my follicles on my ovaries....well after the tech was done i pee'd and came back in. I saw on the screen:

Baby A 4w6d
baby B 4w5d
baby c...i dont know i was in shock!

I said to my mom (and pete, he came in the last 5 minutes). "Why does it say baby a,b,c ?!" and my mom said "she kept going back to FETUS C".....WHAT?!? So we all sat there for 10 or so minutes trying to figure out what is going on. The tech came back in and said to get dressed and shes calling the ER....the ER?!? WHY!? So i thought i had another ectopic and i was going to get the tube out. The next thing i know the radiologist comes in and gives me Dr. P's private cell number and tells me to call her as soon as i get reception...ummm ok.

So we walk outside and i put her on speakerphone and she says:

"well torri, they found 3 sacs in your uterus all measuring 2 days within gestational age!" "One even has a yolk sac in it." "Your betas must be so high they are not reading correctly" "Im going to call the lab and get them redrawn..."

Ok so mind you my beta number is only 103! NOTHING should be seen on ultrasound nevermind 3 sacs!!!

Im a freaking mystery!

I go back wed for another beta level and an ultrasound at 1:30 and im trying like heck to find someone to work for me.

I am in SHOCK!

Lost...

2010-05-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

Lonely, defeated, scared, upset, mad, pissed, hopeful...hopeless,confused, guilty, let-down...

I could go on but im sure you get the idea. I. am. so. sad.

WHY? Im so confused. How did this work with Jack and not now?

Thank GOD for Jack. Seriously.

I just want to get away from all this, away for a few days, clear my head feel happiness and strength...so i can do this again.

AGAIN...UG! Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit, but not having a second babe makes me so sad. Im a GOOD MOM. I deserve babies, a whole bunch of them. I do not feel complete.

So what do i do? My only option is to keep trying. Adoption, Surrocacy...options but not covered by insurance...

Im sad. So very sad :(

7

2010-05-07T13:48:00.001-07:00

Number only went up to 148...

loss #7...

going monday to check to see whats happening.

I dont know how much more i can take :**(

OneHundredTwentyOne

2010-05-05T14:24:00.000-07:00

121!!

I was going to be happy with anything over 100, so im happy. I go back friday for another draw and hoping it doubled.

PLEASE KEEP GROWING BABY!!! :)

I took a digital this morning at 545 after a very fitful nights rest. I went downstairs and told pete i was super nervous so he came up and sat next to me while i pee'd on the stick. We both watched the hourglass blink and within 45 seconds it said PREGNANT. My heart was beating so fast i had to sit down and take deep breathes.

One hurdle down, a whole bunch to go...hopfully about 33 weeks worth :)

Tomorrow is the day!

2010-05-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

and i havent cheated!!

Period is due today, nothing, but im on the prog so thats probably why.

So lets see if i can remember my symptoms

Sunday 7dp5dt - not as bloated but def felt nausea at work...cramping was minimal, very gassy (burpy)...i feel gross after i eat.

Monday - same, bloated, on off bobby pains, tired..took afternoon nap

Tuesday - right and left sided ligament pulls, super nausea, booby pains

Pete bought a digital test a few days ago, so ill be taking that tomorrow morning before my beta...just ike i did with Jack.

Starting to get nervous that this didnt work...

FINGERS CROSSED!!

6dp5dt..and Jack :)

2010-05-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

So im so bloated i look like im 5 months preggo. I dont know if its OHSS or the progesterone. All i know is im uncomfortable. I can breathe just fine so i know if it is OHSS its not severe. My "cramping" has been minimal the last fwe days, last night i felt some burning in my uterus, which was odd. My bbs are also the same....heres some TMI (but this is my dairy and i need to document everything)..my nips seem darker and my Montgomery tuberclues are bigger...i analyze everything lol. My shoulder hurts (again and this is irritating me cause i hope it doesnt meaan the pregnancy is in the tube.) My smell also seems a bit stronger.

Jack...
He had his 2 1/2 yr appt last week. He is now 27.6 pounds and 35 inches (both 25th percentile). He talking like crazy now. This past week everyday he is saying like 3 new words a day. He will repeat everything we say, which is so fun to watch. He even says "i love you" now! We started potty training about a week ago and he is doing very well. We've def had some accidents but for the most part i go through 1 maybe 2 pull ups a day. We went to the circus yesterday an he flipped out!! I think it was way too much stimulation for the little guybut i bought him a pop an he was fine after that (of course lol). We've also tried the Drive-Ins to see "how to train a dragon" which he was so excited about but by the time the movie started it was his bedtime and he just kept saying "i want to go hooomme!"...He is super into dinosaurs and dragons. He is sucha love and i cant imagine my life with this little guy!!

The update..(4dp5t)

2010-04-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i felt some good cramping while at work and my bbs are not constantly sore but ill get waves of soreness...my bbs never really hurt with jack either.

Today same thing about the boobs and some slight twinching...sometimes is more like a period like crampiness...like it deep inside and im about to start a flow any second which is associate with a slight ache in my back.

Im exhausted today but that could be from the progesterone and the fact i just worked 2 days in a row and my kid has ecided not to sleep anymore.

Also had some nausea today...who knows...

FINGERS CROSSED!!!

Nothing really happening..

2010-04-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

Ok i know its only been 3 days since my transfer but i think implanatation should have happened yesterday...so im hoping ill start feeling something...soon.

Im def. bloated, i got some booby pains but nothing major and im concentrating so hard on my uterus i dont know if the slight twinges are actually my imagination. Yesterday i had a pretty queasy belly but i think its too soon for that to be a "real" symptom.

UG!! Please let this work.

On a good note my Progesterone was actually high enough at 36.6!

FINGERS CROSSED!!!

and the obsession begins...

2010-04-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

OK ive said before im superstitious about verbalizing my symptoms and how im feeling out loud and i use this blog as my outlet.

So the transfer was yesterday and on the way to drop Jack off at my moms', the poor things threw up all over himself and Petes car :( We had to pull over on the side of the road and do a full out wardrobe change in the rain! Jack seemed fine and was singing "rwan rwan go a way" lol. He was fine the rest of the day.

Anyways we get there and we wait for a good half hour and i seriously thought my bladder was going to burst, i could literally feel my bladder pulsate it was so full (and i even emptied a bit 3 times). The girl next to us fianlly came out of the transfer room and i heard her say she felt the valium kick in, so i knew she had a tough time, poor thing. I dont care about the transfer the egg retrieval is much more stressful for me since it entails an IV.

So i go into the room and Dr. B was there (he did my transfer in oct.) I knew he was going to say negative things about my embryos and he did. My hatching blast looked "excellent" but my blast "wasnt great" and my 3rd was "just a morula". But i dont care. My last transfer was of 2 "excellent" hatching blasts and it didnt work so what going to stick is going to stick no matter what.

It was the fastest tranfer. ever. I layed down the put the catheter right in, grabbed the embryos, checked my name and DOB, pointed to the screen and in they went. It took maybe 2 minutes.

I rested that whole day and even took a good 2 hour nap - which was needed since Jack was up all night with nightmares ( i know, poor thing!). I def felt crampy the day of the transfer. I also felt pretty calm. Ive accpeted i cant control this...whats gonna be is gonna be and theres nothing i can do but keep trying. I guess im numb to it.

Today i lounged until 3pm. Then took a shower and went up to get Jack. Cooked dinner and tried to take it easy for the remainder of the night. Tomorrow is my prog check an im hoping its in the normal range since im on 2cc of Prog. And then im back to work...UG!

Today my bbs felt somewhat heavy and sore...but that could be the Prog. Im still feeling some crampiness but nothing too noticeable.

Its gonna be a long 8 days...

Now we wait...

2010-04-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

About 5 hours ago i became pregnant (until proven otherwise) with triplets GIRLS!!!

Dr. P called me this morning to tell me we were going to transfer:

1 hatching blast,

a blast (which i guess didnt look "great")

and a morula.

The 4th one (the boy) was also a morula. They are going to reevaluate the boy tomorrow and if it makes it to a blast they are going to freeze him.

So it wasnt an A+ transfer but my last one was and we know how that ended...

Im hopeful and staying positive. :)

Surreal!

2010-04-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

I have done 5 cycles of IVF/PGD and the most "healthy" i have ever had was 2.

well today i got the call that i have:

FOUR!!!

I.am.in.shock.

And another crazy tid-bit is out of all my healthy embryos i have had one healthy girl and six boys...

Today i have:

3 GIRLS and 1 boy! NUTS!

So the plan is to transfer the 3 best ones. Dr. P is going to call me in the a.m. and let me know how they look and the genders around 8am. Transfer time is 950am.

Dr. P called me at 5pm and when she told me i had four my first reaction was "what am i going to do with 4?!?" lol

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

Day 3 report

2010-04-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

All 10 were PGD'd

today they should be 4-8 cells

i have:

4 ..8 cell
2 .. 7 cell
2 ..6 cell
1 .. 5 cell
1 .. 4 cell

Should get the PGD report tomorrow afternoon sometime...

FINGERS CROSSED!!

Day 2 report

2010-04-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

We have 10 growing!!

9 4 cells
1 3 cells

I call tomorrow to see how many made it to PGD testing....2 more days of holding my breathe!

Fertilization Report

2010-04-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

So out of the 20 eggs retrieved...

15 were mature!! and..

11 FERTILIZED!

This is the best we have ever gotten. I call tomorrow to see how well they are growing.

Still hoping for 3 to be healthy....yes we are going the PGD.

FINGERS CROSSED!!!

Egg Retrieval

2010-04-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

It wasnt so bad...

We got there at 7am and i got called in about 720. They went through the admit stuff, Dr. F looked me over and anesthia. I got my Valium and looked at the clock very impatently for 20 minutes while they did the first ER. The Valium def helped relax me and the wrapped my arms up in warm towels. When it was time for the IV she got in on the first try (YAY!). She also gave me Zofran (anti nausea med) so i would puke on the way home (which worked). So all in all everything went well.

Really well since i got 20 EGGS!!! I couldnt believe it! Im super psyched and hoping i have 10-12 embryos make it to the growing stages and hopefully get 3 normals! I call tomorrow at 2 to find out the progress.

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

Got my wish!

2010-04-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

My e2 came back 2017 so they let me trigger last night at 815pm. I go in at 7:00am tomorrow. With 19 measurable follicles im hoping for a good 12 eggs.

Dr. P wont be able to do my surgery but hopefully she can do my transfer.

Jack will be at my moms for a few days so i can heal. Im gonna miss him like crazy!!