The road so far...

Its been one year, three miscarraiges...and no baby.

Our first m/c was in October 05. It was quick/easy but very emotioanally troubling. This wasnt the first time ive gone through this (back in HS i had one but thought it was a blessing when it happened- oh to be so niave)- so i went to a fantastic doctor who was willing to run some tests.

What was found was low progesterone - a hormone that sustains a pregnancy- without it, you miscarry., +ANA antibody (this is more hard to explain but it basically means my body attacks itself, thus thinking the baby is a foreign object and it can also cause blood clots preventing blood flow to the uterus causing miscarriage. Lastly we found small polyps and i needed surgery to remove them.

So 6 months later , 3 gallons of blood drawn, surgery, humiliating procedures, my dad passing away and my sister becoming pregnant, we got the green light to start trying again, WOO-HOO!!

Our happiness quickly turned to joy when we found out we were pregnant right away in April! Everything was going well until i started spotting a few days later. My betas were rising but i soon started gushing blood.

This was the hardest m/c. I started bleeding as i was making a shirt for Nala saying "Big Sister in 2007" AND it was Mothers Day! Pete and i went to the ER 2 hours before our families were coming for dinner - where we were suppose to tell them our "good" news. How ironic- MOTHERS DAY, of ALL days - boy it was a kick in the stomach!!

After this m/c my doctor shipped me to a RE. I never thought it was going to get to this point. The RE was very straightforward and to the point, not exactly the empathy i was recieving from my awesome OB., but i could see why he wanted me to see Dr. F.

I had hope, we had a new plan. We started trying again in June. Another + test a month later ( GETTING PREGNANT is abviously NOT our problem!!). But the beta was only 7 - way too low for a successful pregnancy. It was thought that the beta was going to drop the next day and that would be it. NOPE - the number continued to rise for 3 and a half weeks!!! But never a good rise it only made it to 686 - i was 7.5wks pregnant witha beta of 686 the longest AND highest beta ive ever had...but it didnt mean SHIT b/c 686 @ 7.5 is horrible!

So the Dr. F was suspected ectopic but nothing was seen on u/s. So i waited it out and bleeding started along with my numbers dropping.

Here i sit, going through yet ANOTHER m/c.

Will it ever end? Will i have a healthy pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby?

I sure HOPE so....