Dreams DO come true!

THEY ARE HERE!!!

The quick details: On July 18,2011 at 35.5 weeks Sam and Lily arrived at 531p and 532pm. Samuel Edward was 5lbs 6ozs. 17 inches and Lillian Mae was 4lbs 14ozs. 17 1/2 inches. They had apgars of 9,9 and 8,9. No problems and came home with us!

All the details:

For those that were following this journey you know that at my 32 week u/s it was discovered that Sam had IUGR. Since then i was going in 3x a week for monitoring to see if he was OK still inside the womb. On July 18th i had one of these appts. They were measuring his blood flow through his umbilical cord. They found a 95% restriction. After measuring it over and over and finding normal readings the MFM doc thought itd be best just to deliver bc we were just about 36 weeks and the risks far outweighed the benfits at this point.

The MFM doc called Dr. B and he told us he would deliver us at 5pm that day. It was 11am at this point. Pete and I were shocked, but prepared for this. I was so nervous how the babies would do on the outside and about the c/s in general. Pete and I drove around Providence so he could tie up some lose ends for work and then we went to Target to pick up a few things for the hospital.

I went home and took another shower and off we went. We had to be at the hospital for 3p. I waited for a good hour in the waiting room. Each minute felt like an eternity. I had mixed emotions. I was SO READY for the pregnancy to be over, but i was also scared about what was to come. I also felt guilty that i didnt hug Jack a little longer that morning since it would have been the last time for just the 2 of us..ever! I kept having flashbacks of Jacks delivery and tried to ignore it and just kept thinking that "i have gone though so much, THIS has to work out!"

They FINALLY called me back and di the whole admission process. Once the anethieologist came in and put in the IV, everything felt real. Dr. B came in and was so laid back about the whole thing, everyone was. I felt like screaming at people "im about to get cut open and have TWINS and everyone is walking around like this is NO.BIG.DEAL." I wanted it all to be over and just know everything was going to be OK.

OK so the IV is in and Pete is able to sit with me for about 3 minutes before they took him away again (ahh). They wheeled me to the OR and i thought the room was teeny tiny. Everyone was dressed in toothpaste colored scrubs..it was very strange, like i was in an UFO or something. I slide over on the table and the spinal went in (the anestiologist was awesome and very reassuring). I felt my legs go all warm. I could feel people touching me but no pain. It freaked me OUT. I didnt want to feel ANYTHING!! But the anethiologist kept reassuring me everything was normal and OK.

They they told me they were going to "test" me. Oh boy, cue the anxiety! I felt the pressure and i kept wait ing for pain but i didnt feel it. I heard dr. B says "we're about the start."..I asked where Pete was and he was sent over to me a minute later. It felt like 10 muntes passed until I heard them say "we are at the uterus"..."its clear fluid"..."ITS A BOY!!". Sams warmer was right next to me so i saw him get wiped down and heard his cry right away. He looked great and didnt need any assistance.

Then Lily came out. I couldnt see her but i heard her cry. I told Pete to go over to them. He looked at me like "really? i can do that?". Everything was SO DIFFERENT this time. Pete was able to cut the cord on Sam (there was too many people around Lily). He got to hold them both and bring them over to me. It was all so surreal. I couldnt believe they were OK and the pedis left the room. They were able to stay with us!!! They were perfect! Sam looked ust like Jack and Lily is such a dainty pretty girly girl. Whenever they told me the wweighted i was like "really?" Sam was BIGGER by a half of a pound! But it was his cord in the end that was causing the issue so it all was a good this.

I went to recovery for 3 hours and i felt good. My mom came in to meet the babes and to see for herself everything was OK. I just ket saying over and over"i cant believe this!!"

We went up to the pp floor and were on a an adrelaline rush. Alot of people came in to visit (i work on the floor at the hospital). We feed the babies that night. We both were in complete awe and in shock! Jack came the next day and he was so excited! He loves on the babes throughout the day and asks to hold them all the time.

I felt great the day after the surgery. I was up walking around, no pian, felt like a whole new person without 10 pounds of baby in me! Then....I was sitting on the bed fedling Lily and i felt a warm gush..my insicion had opened up. They ended up having to reopen me (in the bed), take out a hematoma and restaple me (without drugs!). It was awful. Its been 11 days and today i finally got the staples out. We are hoping it doesnt get infected or open back up now that the staples are out.

Being home has been great. The babes lost alot of weight in the hospital so i have to pump and add calories to their breastmilk and im supplementing with 24 cal. formula. So far they are gaining weight. Sam is maybe 5 lbs and Lily is around 4-6 right now. We wake them every 3 hours to feed and last night we started letting them wake up when they are hungry. If one wakes up at night the other is waking up too. During the day we do a 3 hour schedule.

I am so in love. I wish i could love on them both all the time but its not easy with Jack and another babe to take care of. I look forward to feeding times and bathtimes since i get to spend the most time with them then.

I am so happy and LOVE every minute of them.

Im so glad this journey is over. My family and my heart are now complete

35 weeks!

I have a feeling this may be my last weekly check-in. Since Sunday night i've been having inconsistent painful contractions. Sine they were so infrequent i waited to tell my OB until my appt today.

First the routine stuff was fine. I lost 2 pounds so im back to where i was 2 months ago. So ive gained 29 pounds if i go by what i weighed before the IVF cycle. My BP was fine. I had trace protein but since BP is good then no worries. My blood sugars are also fine and im still diet controlled.

So i told him about the ctxs. He could see i was having them. He checked me and i was 100% effaced but no dilation. He said "i think your having babies today!"...what?!?! So i went over to Triage and i felt fine. They hooked me up and i was having ctxs every 5-8 minutes, some pretty pretty strong! By the time they came back in to check me they hurt pretty good...no change. They gave me a shot of Terbuteline and that calmed them down. I got to go home to hopefully buy me a couple more days. Its been 9 hours since the meds and the ctxs are slowly coming back.

Im pretty impressed with myself to have made it this far! I know if they come now they most likely will be in the NICU for about a week but im trying to think positively that that will give me tine to recover. I really do think it'll be sometime this weekend. Jack says the 19th...we'll see!

34 weeks!

OK before i start this post im going to apologize on how whiney im going to sound!

I HURT! And i mean H.U.R.T! It started basically the day i turned 34 weeks. I cant walk without holding onto something, it feels like my pelvis is breaking with each step. My back is spasming (which hurts like hell). The Braxton Hicks a tad more frequent and more intense, ive had a few that have woken me up in the middle of the night. I was in so much pain last night that i was dreaming i was in the hospital getting pain meds...My belly is so low (both babies are now head down and so low that they have a hard time finding them on u/s). I have no real signs of labor coming. I think im just feeling the effects have having 2 5ish pounds babies inside my tiny 5-1 body frame.

Aside from all my aches and pains i am SO THRILLED that ive made this far and each day feels like a major accomplishment. 36 + weeks is still my goal..which is 7/20.

Sams Update:

We went this past monday for our doppler flow u/s and everything looks great. We go this monday for a growth scan and if Sam doesnt grow enough and his cord flow looks crappy then im off to the hospital for bedrest so i can get continuous monitoring. Both babies have passed all NSTs/BPPs with flying colors.

So my next goal is to make it to Monday for our ultrasound.

33 Weeks!

Looks fake doesnt it?

So this week was pretty eventful. So ill try to break it down

Last Thursday we had our growth scan. Lily was 4lbs even and looked great. Sam was 3lbs 10oz. The tech didnt say anything to me with there being a concern. They were 150g apart so i thought all was good.

After the scan i had my appt. I finally gained weight and everything looked good, so i thought. Turns out Sam is in the 9th percetile. Off to MFM for a better u/s.

Go to MFM on Monday. I seriously thought they were going to do the scan and say he's fine. Nope, he's now in the 6th percentile (only grew 1 oz from 4 days prior, whereas Lily gained 9). Well its 2 different machines and a different tech so im trying not to read into that too much.

They checked his umbilical cord to make sure the blood flow was normal, it was PHEW! They also found his kidney to be slightly dialated so now we have to talk to a urologist about what that might mean. They also had a genetic conselor come in and tell us it could be a chromosomal issue...WTF?! I seriously wanted to run out of the room!

MOst likely he's just small and he's a twin. The dialated kidney is only .2 over the cut-off...he most likely will grow out of it. These people wanted me throw me over the edge i swear! Im so nervous about the c-section and having twins in general i DID NOT need that! Thank God Pete came with me (he wasnt going to since it was a long appt) bc if they threw all that at me by myself i would have LOST IT!

UG! Anyways...so Sam has IUGR (intra uterine growth restriction). Thats the lovely term they give to babies who are under the 10th percentile. (lily is in the 49th now...she showing whose boss :) ). I also had a NST/BPP that day and they both passed 10/10.

So the plan is:
BPP/NSTs 2x a week...Doppler u/s's 1x a week, growth scan every 2 weeks. If anything looks concerning then they will talk next steps.

My next doppler is next Tuesday and my next growth scan is 7/11. Pete thinks they will take them on the 11th..thats his "hunch"...he better be wrong!

Im really hoping to make it to at least 36 weeks..just 3 more weeks!

32 weeks!

Still hanging in there! This week my aches and pains are just magnified. My back is starting to really hurt, my left leg goes numb when i lay down ro sit for too long, my feet are swollen to the point i can actally feel the fluid move when i walk (ICK!). My belly is so low and heavy it hurts to stand and when i lay on my sides my Round Ligament KILLS. My Round Ligament is so tender it hurts to touch the side of my belly.

These kids move all the time. They are most active at night and early in the morning. Thier movements are starting to hurt. Sam moves so hard he shakes me whole belly. They both ricochet off my hips bones (very weird feeling). Sam pushes so hard it looks like i have a growth sticking out of me! Oh and the hiccups...Sam has them quite a bit and it seems once he stops, Lily has them.

I had alot of appt this week. First i went to the Endocrinologist for my funky fasting blood sugars (100-110). Basically he told me im "on the edge" for insulin but thinks i can control it through diet. My meter also seems "off" so he gave me a new one. I am now only allowed 30g of carbs for each meal but i can have 2 snacks after dinner plus i can have a snack in the middle of the night to help my fasting number. I havent had one number above 100 in the am since! woo-hoo!!

I had my OB appt yesterday. It was overall good. First i had my growth scan. Lily is 4lbs and is still measuring 4 days behind my due date (has been since 18 weeks). SHe is in the 23rd percentile. Sam is 3lbs 10oz and is in the 9th percentile, measuring a week behind. Once they are under the 10th %tile they need to look more closely. So im going Monday to MFM to get a BPP/NST (will have these 2x a wk now) and another scan (they have better equipment). Dr. B said ill prob have scans every week or 2 all depending what they find until i deliver. Otherwise everything else is fine. I measure 40 weeks now, i gained 3 pounds (finally)..so now im up about 30 pounds if i go by what i was before the IVF cycle. My Bp was 128/60 and my urine was fine. I dont go back to him until 7/14 since hes going on vacation (pray these babies dont come until he gets back!).

During the scan the tech commented numerous times how much hair Sam had! She showed it to us and it really was alot! Lily has "some". Sam is stretched out on my right side, head down. Lily is in my ribs on the left side, breeched and all curled up. Their legs are measuring behind (28+ for him 29 for her). I think this is what is bringing their weights down. Jack legs were measuring 6 weeks behind when i had him- he was 18 inches at birth.

So fingers crossed everything looks good on Monday.

31 weeks!

This is starting to HURT! Im still functioning but its getting tough. Standing for longer than 5 minutes is a big feat right now. My belly is so heavy i can carely stand it. My ribs hurt, i cant breathe, my heartburn is pretty awful somedays, but its all worth it and as much as it hurts im so thankful ive made it this far and still walking around!

My belly is growing by the minute! Im amazed at the difference just 3 weeks ago! None of my shirts fit and i refuse to buy anything else so im alternating btw 2 that somewhat fit and summer dresses. Im wearing summer dresses from last year as shirts and those are even starting to get too small!!

Since my belly is growing by leaps and bounds it is SO itchy! Its also COVERED in stretchmarks. I also have little capillaries on my belly that have burst. My belly will never be sexy again...

Im going tomorrow to the endocrinologist regarding my fasting blood sugars. Ill most likely be put on insulin. My numbers during the day are fine. I even had 2 pieces of pizza today for lunch and it was 87 after.

30 WEEKS!!!!!

This picture came out awful but you see the belly so thats all that counts!

I had my OB appt today and things are still going well. My BP was 118/66, i had some leukocytes in my urine but he didnt seem to care. I told him my blood sugars are not so great in the morning (my fasting ranges from 100-110). So i have to go to an endocrinologist to see if i should start insulin. I have lost 1 pound so ive gained a total of 22 pounds. Babies are growing though..im measuring 38 weeks! I go back in 2 weeks for a growth scan and another appt.

Im still feeling the same physically. My tailbone, pelvis, hips HURT. I have a hard time walking sometimes. Braxton Hicks rear their ugly head about 5-10x a day.

Mentally im a mess. My hormones are RAGING! Im usually a sensitive person but i feel overly sensitive and feel like i could cry at a drop of a hat. I guess its good this just started happening vs. right from the beginning. My poor husband just keeps his mouth shut (smart man) but others in my life dont know that i dont want their opinions about things. And if you want to throw any kind of criticism my way..ill scream!

My brain is also shutting down. The other day i came out in the living room to get a towel from the laundry. I grabbed the REMOTE. I took my shower and got out and looked for the towel instead i saw the REMOTE on the toilet! LOL! oh vey!

We made a big step this week and bought a MINIVAN!! 5 years ago i never thought id have babies and i now drive a Minivan!