I did it MYSELF!!!

This morning was my first Lupron shot and i was scared to DEATH!!! I was having nightmares ALL night! So i finally said "screw it" and got up to do it. Pete did my heparin shots with my last pregnancy b/c im such a baby (yes, i know, being a nurse i should have no problems, but its different when its YOU!) But im happy to report that it was ME to did the injection!!! It didnt even hurt! Im so excited to do my next one now HAHA!!

Today was a very eventful day. I had the consult with Dr. P to go over the PGD. She was SO NICE!! She actually talked TO us not AT us! She even went through my whole chart and suggested quite a few things that would help our odds.

First she thinks theres an implantation issue. So she suggests starting the Lovenox right after transfer. Im psyched about that, ive been TRYING to get someone to LISTEN to me about my ideas and was getting NOWHERE. But SHE brought it up!! So we are going to do that.

Second, sometimes ppl with RPL have too many sperm penetrate the egg causing the m/c's so we are doing ICSI (one single sperm is injected into the egg.)

Lastly, she doesnt think the mycoplasma is causing the m/c's but is concerned that i only have taken a 10 day course of antibiotics to treat the endometrtis i had back in march. So if the mycoplasma comes back + again then im going on a 21 course treatment. I had the option of getting another endo biopsy done but i just feel ive had too many instruments stuck up me and it will just cause things to get worse. Id rather just take the antibiotics.

So all in all it was a very good appt. I feel HOPE for the first time in months. She feels we have a chance. Im very curious to see where this will lead.

Onto normal life events. We got a black lab puppy on Saturday named Sadie - shes a sweet little thing. Nala is adapting very well to her. Ill post some pics soon.
Also Curry is still holding in. She went to the docs today and shes not dilating or effaced yet so they wont be inducing her :( She 39weeks on friday - that baby has got to come out!

Its Negative!!

My beta is FINALLY negative!! I found out that m/c #4 was doomed from the start on 7/26, so almost to 2 months later- its OVER!!

You'd think i'd be sad, but its a sense of relief that i can finally move on. I cant believe in less that 2 weeks im going to be doing IVF!!

Ill be away until the end of the weekend because its my sisters baby shower on saturday. We did a pregnant scarecrow theme, its going to be so cute!

change of plans...

well after much debate (with myself) i finally talked to pete about my feelings reguarding IUI and IVF. I just didnt feel comfortable going through the IUI. I feel the IVF/PGD is our best bet and may find answers. I couldnt go through the IUI and have another m/c, then have to wait another 3 months to start the IVF.

im terrified though. Ive been spending alot of my time researching IVF and what the process is and what im getting myself into. Im scared of what they will find. What if all our embryos are bad? What if all my embryos are fine, will i have another m/c? What if i can never have my own child? (im not against adoption by any means but i want a biological child).

We are going Oct 10 and 18th to talk about the whole process...more waiting. Which i dont have to much choice over because my beta is 32...so im STILL "pregnant" UGH! So i probably wont get AF for at least 2-3 more weeks.

The next step...

A week ago Pete and went to the RE to see what the next "plan" should be. I was pretty much expecting what was said, so it wasnt a shock.

Dr. F basically has no clue what is causing this and we have a 60% chance of carrying a baby to term ourselves - i dont believe in stats, but it still stng to hear that.

SO we had 2 options, injectable meds with IUI (they will inseminate me with Petes sperm after i give myself an injection to induce ovulation.) This is suppose to give me better quality eggs. The risk of twins is 25% - FINE BY ME!

The second option is IVF with PGD. PGD is when they will test the embryos to make sure they are healthy before they transfer them into me. THis is going to cost us 15,000 out of pocket b/c i CAN concieve, according to the insurance co.

We choose injectables (more for money reason but for sanity reason, i want the IVF). We do have 2 more consults in the next 6 weeks to see what 2 other docs say...but for now this is the plan.

Wish us luck...