OHMIGOD!!!

You guessed it.....IM PREGNANT!!!!!!

I am BEYOND thrilled. I know for a fact i got a LONG way to go but im SO HAPPY!!

So heres how it went down:

Saturday night i was having a mental breakdown and NEEDED to know. So pete went out and bought a digital test b/c he hates the whole "is that a line?" saga.

I wake up on sunday (now im a day late) and i chicken out! I figure i have 2 more days of shots i need to take one way or the other and im gonna be so PISSED if i have to do the PIO and not be pregnant. So i wait...

Monday morning comes (beta day). Im still too scared but if it was going to be negative i wanted to know. So pete shoots me in the bum and i walk around the house aimlessly until i get the courage to take the test. Finally, i convince myself to do it (but only b/c i was about to pee my pants!)

So its a digital and ive never taken one of those before. The little screen has a pregnancy stick flashing in it while its "reading" the results... OMG TORTURE!!! At least with the line tests you can watch the lines FORM!! So im sitting on the tiolet trying not to look, then all of a sudden the blinking stops and the word PREGNANT is in the screen.

So now im FREAKING OUT! I fumble and pull up my pants and yell/scream for pete...im running but i cant even feel my legs and i can hear my voice but it doesnt sound like myself! I find Pete down cellar and hes running up the stairs as im running down them. We stop in the middle and i shove the freshly peed on stick in his face "IT SAYS PREGNANT!!!!" and he said "I knew you were!" and i said "well I DIDNT!!!"

Now im laughing and crying all at the same time. I was(am) so overwhelmed!!! This WORKED!

So i pull myself together(kinda) and head off to providence for my beta. This was going to be the true test. All my betas have been low so i was nervous that the same thing was going to happen...again.

I got the call around 2pm and my beta was 261!!! The average beta for right now is 95! So im sitting on the phone with the nurse saying "ohmigod,ohmigod,ohmigod!!!". She trying to tell me the next steps but i cant think, i have to sit down and all i can mutter is "ohmigod!"

The next draw is wed to see if it goes up at least 60%. If it does then they will schedule my u/s.

Our family is THRILLED, but cautiously excited.

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

7dp5dt

For those who have NO CLUE what that means its 7 days past 5 day transfer...so 12 days since conception and 2 days away from my period.

So lets talk about these cramps. They only come on at night when im sleeping, they are so strong they are in my dreams and they wake me up! They are always in the same spot, like on one side of my uterus, not the whole thing...weird.

My bbs are slowly fading with the soreness. Every now and then i get a sharp pain or dull twinge or my nipples feel like they fell asleep, but they are not constantly sore. Im trying not to read to much into this.

So we are still waiting...waiting and WAITING!

Freak Out

This is my freak out from yesterday.


I think my sanity is slowly disapatting....

Yesterday my nips were ON FIRE, so much so it woke me up from a dead sleep. I took this as a very good sign and actually enjoyed feeling the pain b/c i was thinking it was from my babes saying "HI,Mom, we're in nice and tight!"

Well today i woke up from a dead sleep b/c i realized they werent tender/sore/on fire NOTHING!! So now i feel DOOMED!!!

Ive been able to pretty much hold myself together throughout this process, but now i think im going overboard. I know that symtptoms come and go but still ...IM FREAKING OUT!

Then yesterday they called me with my prog level and it was 19.7 (they like it above 20) so now im up to 2cc of PIO...i know full well its fine and prog rises and falls..blah, blah, but...yup, you guessed it IM FREAKING OUT!

Today im 5dp5dt, so im coming close and just so scared this didnt work. We dont have enough money to do another cycle right away, i know i have time on my side, but i just want a baby NOW!!

Today im feeling better. My breasts are on/off sore but no more fire nipples, the cramps are still there off and on as well, they are always in the same spot so im hoping its just the place of implanatation. Thats really it. Today im 6dp5dt so its still early. I have not POAS and i dont have any in the house. I may take one on saturday, when my period is due so i have a more accurate reading.

So im hanging in there and just praying this is it!!

It hasnt sunk in....

I keep saying over and over "i did IVF and there 2 babies trying to implant right NOW!". I just cant seem to wrap my mind around it this time. Im alot calmer than last time and i know the reality that it may not take. But i cant even think of that either!! Just writting "it may not take" makes my heart stop!!

My mom came down on thursday and is leaving today. She cleaned alot but didnt do much for me. I felt bad to ask her for something b/c she was too busy organizing all my shit! lol. But it was so nice for her to come and help out, now i dont have to worry about it. Im sad shes going.

The dogs must sense i cant play out keep getting up to let them out, theyve been so good. Sadies been next to me the whole time, hugging my feet. :) My poor girls, their life is going to be turned upside down if these babies stick!!

The PIO shots are alot better than i expected! Theres only been 1 that kinda hurt, but i think thats just cause i didnt ice the area long enough. But i have no welts/lumps/ or bruises (knock on wood).

Last time i didnt write down any symptoms andi wish i had so i knew what i was experiencing at this point. So im going to this time.
This morning i started getting booby pains, im SO hoping they are not from the PIO but from my babes burrowing in!!! I also have some creamy CM. The crampiness is very minimal, to the point where i could say theres basically none.

At this point last cycle i was in triage suffering from OHSS. I am happy to say, i feel GREAT!! Im still a tad bloated but nothing like it was before. Plus i think the bloat is from the PIO shots (they can cause constipation...i knew you wanted to know that!! :) )

So this week its back to work. Im hoping this time next week ill feel a ton of pg symptoms and i have a + HPT...but i havent decided if ill take one.

OK enough blabbering.

Follicle check #3/Triggering!!

Holy crap!

I was really hoping to stim for 8 days but it doesnt look like thats going to happen. Im triggering tonight @ 830 with ER being 8am on Saturday.

Im SO excited but SO scared!!

Follie check today showed 25 follicles with 10 mature but 7 ranging from 14-14.5mm (15mm is considered mature). My lining is 10.4. My e2 is 1645.

Freaking out over here!!!

We got Follicles!!

Things are still going at a slower rate which im very happy about!

Last time i had 14 follicles, 4 of which were mature.

This time we had 14 follicles all ranging 10-13.5 (so none are mature). My right side is still doing all the work with 11 and my left with 3.

The nurse said she thinks ill be back thursday. But it all depends on my E2 level.

My veins are starting to crap out on me. It took 2 trys today. So im hoping i get a day off tomorrow.

Stay Tuned :)

Edited to add: E2 was 717 (was 1315 last time! @ this same time). Im going tomorrow again to check on the growth and another e2. Dr. P wants me to get to day 9 of stims (friday) but if i have a lead follicle of 20 then we trigger. Right now im at a 13.5 so if they grow 2mm a day that will take us to friday. I HOPE I HOPE!!!

First E2 level

Thankfully,things are moving slower this time. My E2 came back 232, it was 390 last time.

Im sticking with the 200u of Follistim which im nervous about b/c i dropped down to 150 last time but im going back on tuesday for a u/s and b/w to see whats cooking in there!

Im getting bloated but that could be from the junk i just ate at petes families holiday party!

This cycle is definately draining me more than last. Im really tired and it feels like the life is being sucked out of me!

I also started the heparin today and the needle that comes with it hurt like a bastard!! Im stealing some needles from work!

Getting him involved..

Last night Pete and i did my Follistim shot.

We've got quite a routine going. Since ive woke up 3 times past 9am to take lupron ( i still take it since its only like 915-930). Anyways Pete started drawing up my lupron and waking me up so i can take it. Last night he did all the prep work with the follistim as well.

I really like this b/c it allows him to be involved with all of this. He also started going to my u/s's last cycle to see the follies grow. He would write down the measurements for us and i would have the doctors sheet in my hand. It also helps to have him there b/c my left ovary is a bitch to find so he writes everything down while i push on my belly.

So we no longer can BD to make a baby but i really feel having him go to my appointments and prepare my shots makes us feel we ARE doing this TOGETHER. It also makes me feel not-so alone with this whole process.

Sunday is my first E2 level. Last time it was 390 @ that point so im curious to see what it will be this time.

Here we GO!! :)

Well i know the reality of all this but im still hoping that this cycle is IT for us.

Yesterday we went in for our PIO class and im shocked that its actually your lovehandles it goes in, not you Butt! OUCH! But whatever i got to do, ill do it!

After a whole week of spotting i FINALLY got my period and we got the go ahead to start stims tomorrow!

Im super-psyched and hoping this works!!

Cycle delayed...

I had my baseline 2 days ago..everything looked fine besides the fact i STILL havent had my period! GRRR. My estrogen was too high to start stims.

So i have to call when it decides to show...

Hopefully soon.

Side Effects...

OMG i am so PMSing!! I am so bloated and cramping with an on again off again backache! I am also feeling like a superbitch and i NEED chocolate, but theres none in the house!!

I have never taken Provera to induce a period so all of this just SUCKS!

The Lupron is fortunately treating me well (unless what im feeling is b/c of the lupron too). I have no night sweats this time.

My baseline is 4 days away, im just hoping i get my period before then (and before i explode).

What a differnce a cycle makes...

Last cycle i would count down the days, hours, minutes until the next step would occur. i would stress over how many times i could make it to acupuncture, analyze every move i made.

Not this time.

Im RELAXING, taking it one day at a time and just hoping for the best. I wake up when i wake up and take my Lupron and all my other pills and supplements and then i just go about my day.

Last cycle i had nightmare about my first Lupron injections. This time i woke up a half hour LATE to take it and just did it without blinking instead of going "1...2....i cant do it....1...2....nope".

So lets hope this attitude gives a whole new outcome as well....

Here we Go!!

found out my first IVF/PGD cycle failed on 11/26, now just about 3 weeks later im starting my 2nd cycle!!

I got my plan today and my new RE is doing things quite differently than my last.

Im starting Provera tomorrow
NO BCP's!!!! (was on them for 3 weeks last time)
Lupron 10u 12/17
baseline 12/27 ( was on Lupron for 15 days before baseline last time)
Stims 12/28 (200u Follistim, instead of 225)
Heparin starting day 4 of stims (was on Lovenox starting day of ET before)
Est ER 1/7 (shes guessing 9 days of stims - i had 7 last time)
PIO to starting day of ER (was on 600mg of supps last time.)
PGD day 3, transfer day 5.

I CANNOT believe this is happening again so soon!!