The first week (and a half)

Jack is wonderful. He's doing the typical eat, sleep, poop newborn routine. He's still nursing like a champ and its causing no pain! He's only had one rough night where he wanted to nurse every 10 minutes for 5 hours, causing Miss Mama to be a zombie. I do pump if he doesnt nurse for a full 15 minutes so last night pete and i tried to have him to do a feeding so all id have to do was get up and pump and go back to bed instead of staying up for an hour and a half nursing, changing him ect. Well it didnt work out...the bottle made him gassy and he wasnt satisfied so i had to nurse anyways...so an hour and a half later i went to bed while pete snored...its OK thought i felt so bad i didnt nurse him in the first place...i really do love it.

Pete has been just fantastic! I have no idea how im going to do everything when he goes back to work! He makes all my meals, is doing all the housework, taking care of the dogs ect., ect., plus he changes diapers and bonds with "monster". He's such a wonderful father and husband...im truly blessed.

Jack had his pedi appt. on wednesday and he weighed 5pounds 7 ozs. which i was told was good but i was hoping he'd be more. I think hes gained since then (lets hope since hes attached to me 18 hours out of the day!) We go back monday for a follow-up.

On friday he got circumsized and i was a total wreck. But he made it through just fine and its healing beautifully.

Emotionally im still kinda iffy. Yesterday i was fine until i talked to my mother (long story) and today i think i broke down at least 5 times. They are tears of frustration, joy, anxiety, happiness, shock...you get the idea. I know this is all normal right now. I just cant help but look at Jack and tear up...esp now that i know what caused the hemmoragging and that the infant mortality rate is 75%! Jack has always been a miracle but now he is even more! Im so thankful he is OK. But i feel like whereever i turn there's something or someone telling me he may not be. Like yesterday i got a letter saying he passed his hearing test but he needs to retake it at 6mo. b/c of his low apgar scores...come ON, something ELSE?!

I just want to enjoy my lil man...im trying not to dwell on the "what ifs" and focus on what is going on NOW (him acting perfectly normal).

Oh, and i know alot of my friends read this (but dont comment!) so im letting you all know id love for you all to come down and visit so please call (dont worry about waking me or Jack) and tell me when your coming....i want to show him off!! :)

We've got a baby boy! :)

Jack Eugene born 9/19 6pounds 1oz. 18.8 inches

i need to sit down and write out a detailed birth story even though its something im actually trying to forget....but heres the short version

cervidil was placed at 1050pm.

I took an Ambien and woke up at 3am with contractions...nothing too bad but enough to know they werent "just cramps".

Cervidil qas taken out at 500 and we were transferred down to L&D at 615

my doctor came in at 630 to check me an break my water

water was broken at 635

Jack was born by emergency c-section at 642am..i felt everything

when my water was broken i guess the blood vessels to the placenta were embedded into the amniotic sac so Jack and i started hemmorraging.

if it wasnt for my quick thining OB and the fantastic NICU doctors, Jack wouldnt have made it.

His apgars were 1,2,2..which is not good at all.

He was intubated and transported to NICU...i saw them working on him and knew it wasnt good..when they transported him to NICU theydidnt even let me see him...thats when i lost it.

i waited so long for this moment and he was ripped away from me and i didnt even get to SEE him!

Since the tears are now coming i cant really write too much more about that...i will soon though.

But in the end Jack ended up doing wonderfully!! He was off the vent by 3pm that day and everytime they did bloodwork it kept getting better and better. He needed a blood transfusion and numerous saline boluses to replace all the fluid he lost.

He as able to come up to my room just 36 hours later...everyone was in shock on how well he did.

We have to follow up with a nuero doc and he may get placed into Early Intervention b/c of such a rough start. He may have some Nuerological problems down the line, which is really stressing me out, but right now he is acting like an appropriate newborn - whew!!

We got home on Sunday and things are going really well. He is nursing like a champ and barely cries. Im doing OK pysically...still in some pain. The hardest part has been accpeting how he was born. Im so thankful he is OK but im seriously traumatized by the events of his birth. Im cried for 2 days now and i just wont let him out of my sight...i know this is normal now..but im so frustrated that this (giving birth) couldnt go right since it was so hard to carry him!! I know that sounds petty..im working on it.

Tonights the night!!

Well im a fingertip dialated, 75% effaced and baby is low...woo-hoo!!!

The doctor was very happy with that along with the fact that im contracting. The hospital will call me sometime tonight to tell me when to come in. When i get there they will give me Cervidil and monitor me overnight and check me in the morning. Depending on the progress overnight ill either get my water broken or start pit or both.

Im very anxious right now and i just want to be there and get this process started!

Im planning on posting pics and my birth story on here after i have him...we are bringing the laptop to the hosp.

Please wish us luck. OH MY GOD!!!!

37 weeks - FULL TERM!!!

Oh thank goodness! I remember thinking back to April when i started hemmorraging at 13 wks that this day would never get here...and here it is! This pregnancy by far has not been easy. Physically wise its been fine...no major heartburn, didnt throw-up, sleep hasnt been so bad...i've really enjoyed feeling pregnant.

On the other hand though...the shots 2 x a day along with the 4 finger pokes, the constant monitoring, the STUPID diabetes (i cannot WAIT to eat sugar again!), the worry over the bleeding, the lack of growth in Jacks legs...then lack in growth overall, worrying about the clotting d/o and hoping i make it to delivery day with a healthy LIVING baby...I AM DONE! I want him OUT, OUT, OUT!!!

I know i'll always worry b/c im a mom but, this part NEEDS to be over. I just want to see him, touch him, smell him...hear him cry, dress him, play with him, nurse him, see pete with him, see how the dogs react, see what he looks like. I am so ready for this to be OVER.

I will miss being pregnant, dont get me wrong. I'll miss feeling and seeing him move, the looks i get from ppl in public, like im some kind of cirus freak (im just pregnant people!), the attention i get from Pete, the excuse to take naps...i wish i could say the excuse to eat whatever i want but that didnt happen....oh how badly i want an oreo cookie shake!

Im so excited that this time next week ill be updating with my birth story instead of telling you all my symptoms and worries. This has def been a long road. Im ready to have my little family and start down a different path. 4 more days...

last growth scan

i def got a peanut on my hands!

his guesstamated weight is 5lbs 9 ozs., his femurs are still 4 weeks behind (which actually relieved me since i was worried they were going to be even further behind). He is measuring 35w2d (im 36.4) last u/s he was 3-4 days behind now he's 9 days. I dont know if this considers him IUGR or not. I also dont know if the doctor will call me tomorrow to go over this or if we'll talk about it on tuesday.

Im not too concerned with all this since i was 4-6 at birth, my sister was 6-4, my mom was 6-0 and my gram was 6-8..my dh was only 7-0 also. So we have small babies. Im just concerned since he consisntently keeps lagging more and more behind in growth with each u/s.

either way, we'll see what his real weight is in a week!

36.3 appt update - GRR!

I HATE it when doctors change their minds!!! So now it looks like next wednesday is the day instead of this friday, i know its only a couple days but UG, i was SO CLOSE! I just want this baby out - im so scared something is going to go wrong with him.


So i get that news, and the doctor tries to talk me into waiting the 26th and i think my exact words were "are you kidding me?!" He's the one whose been telling me all along we need to get him out as soon as term hits and now hes changing his mind?! I told him "Nope, were doing wednesday and thats final!"


And i lost 3 pounds IN A WEEK! I have never lost 3 pounds in a week, even with diet and exercise and here i am 9 months pregnant and i cant gain weight for the life of me ( i havent gained anything in 2 1/2 mo....just lost)! He said he didnt care unless i was measuring small...guess what? IM MEASURING SMALL....oh do the worries end (i know they dont!)? So now i have a growth u/s tomorrow night to see whats happening in there. If it seems like Jack has IUGR(restricted growth) then the induction may be moved up. thank goodness i get biweekly nst/bpp's cause i think id lose it!


its always something...

36 weeks :)

Well ill be perfectly fine if my water breaks right now! I NEVER thought id get to this point, but here we are! I still have all the aches and pains but surprisingly have been sleeping fairly well. He's definately lower as i can feel him put pressure on my cervix here and there.

These past few days are dragging and im just trying to get to tuesday to see if its definately going to be friday or next wednesday. Either way the most ill be waiting to meet my lil man is 11 days!

Yesterday i went to the salon and got my hair done, got waxed, and got a pedicure so im all beautified for the hospital.

So now we just wait for Tuesday for the final say...thank goodness my appt is 7:45am so i dont have to wait allll day :)

looks like he'll be here NEXT week!!

Well ive been thinking 9/19 all along but today the doctor said:

"when you come in next week, we'll set up the induction for the end of the week!" So it looks like 9/14. I'll be 36.6wks so he should be just fine but there is a small chance that he may need some NICU time. But i can handle him being in NICU for a few days, but i cant handle losing him.

My appt was good. Still havent gained any weight since the stupid diabetes diagnosis so im still at about 15 pounds (according to the docs scale, 13 according to mine). Jacks HR was perfect, my BP was perfect, i had some protein in my urine but he didnt seem to care since everything else was fine. The GBS culture was done (no biggie) and im not dialted yet...drats!

I go back next tuesday and will hopefully have the finalized plans for the induction! YAY!!

tons of pictures!

35 weeks...he's in the process of kicking me so thats why my face looks distorted!

belly button still hasnt popped out!

Nursery pics:

SHOWER pics (my side of the fam's..didnt as many pics as i'd of liked)

me and curry

Adam and Sage

the race is close! :)

DECORATIONS:

wish i had before pics!!

35 weeks!!!!!!

We're getting close!

I am VERY uncomfortable now. About 80% of his movements are really hurting me, i can barely stand for more then 5 minutes, i just cant get comfortable. I love it all though and im so excited that in about 2- 2 1/2 weeks im going to meet my little man. I also love the pain b/c i know he is growing and getting stronger.

We are ready for this lil guy. Everything is washed, put away, assembled ect. We just need him :)

My BPP/NSTs all were fine this week. Im going tuesday for 35wk appt, were ill get my GBS culture done and an internal exam (im so excited about this, even though i know its very unlikely anything will be happening).

Oh and dont worry im posting a belly pic for today along with some more shower pics...so check back later for those :)

34 weeks :)

3ish more weeks! Im so excited!!! Things around here are just about finished. The only main things left are the curtains for the nursery (which my mom is coming down this week to do) and one REALLY good cleaning of the house.

Today we went to our All Day Childbirth class. Didnt learn too much but found out some good ways to relax, so thatll be helpful.

Overall, im still feeling pretty good, uncomfortable, but good. My tailbone feels smashed and bruised along with my bladder. Ive been getting some pretty sharp pains in my left side but learned today its round ligament pain, while i thought it was from Jack kicking something. Jacks movements are also becoming more and more painful but they still make me smile. My feet and hands are very swollen and im also getting restless legs at night.

We are meeting 2 pediatricians this week. We're going to see just 2 b/c these are the 2 that are consistently being recommended. I also have my BPP/NST tests too.

So thats it...i CANNOT wait!! :)

let me explain :)

Sorry i forgot to explain wha a BPP and NST are! lol

They both check on the well-being of the baby

BPP - is a Biophysical Profile...its an u/s that they measure the amount of fluid around the baby, his activity (he needs to make 3 good movements in 30 minutes) and see if he is practice breathing for at least 15 seconds.

NST - is a Non-Stress Test. They strap 2 monitor on me, one to measure uterine activity and the other to measure Jacks heartrate. I also push a button whenever i feel him move. When he moves they like to see his heartrate go up 15 points and then fall back down to baseline, he needs to do this 2 times in 20 minutes.

So now you know what im talking about :)

33.5 wk appt and BPP/NST

Overall everything is good.

BP 120/60, weight is -1.2 pounds...so my total is now 15 pounds overall...i keep losing weight now that im on this GDM diet! Urine is fine, measuring on target, Jacks heartrate was 160.
He said "your growth u/s was right on target" i was like "WHAT?!, his femurs are measuring 4 weeks BEHIND!"...and he said "well, your short arent you?"...lol. So he looked it up in his little book and Jack is in the 3rd percentile for his legs (they want it in btw 10-90%) and 10% is 6.0 and Jack is 5.7 so the doctor said we are talking not even a half an inch! So that made me feel better, then he said that since the head and belly are measuring a few days ahead thats even better. He said he'd be more concerned if Jack was measuring 4 weeks behing overall. I guess the only real indicator for short femurs is Downs but we know Jack is healthy b/c we did PGD. So the doc told me not to worry about it...so i "wont" :).

The we talked about induction. He is going to start doing internals at my next appt along with the GBS. If im not dialated by 37wks, he said he can still try to induce but if im rock hard i can opt to do a c/s. I know this is very controversial but i know all you ladies understand that with everything i went through to get here once im term, im done with the worry and just want the baby OUT, no matter how it happens. Im terrified that i made it this far and have something happen, so im all about the elective c/s if it comes to that.

After my appt. i went in for a NST and BPP and lil man was ALL over the place...passed with no problems..the nurse also checked his head placement and said "wow, this kid is LOW!" :)

So 3 1/2 more weeks or so...WOW!!

Growth u/s

Lil man is living up to his name! He's measuring 32.6wks (im 33.3) and weighting in at 4 1/2 pounds which is the 27th percentile which is all good. But his little legs are meauring 4 weeks behind (they were 2 wks behind before) so im trying not to stress about it, hoping its just genetics. I go thursday to talk to the doctor.

Sometimes being under the microscope causes more worries then needed!

33 weeks!

We're getting there!! :) :)

Im still feeling pretty good but the uncomfortable stage is definately rearing its ugly head. I cant stand for too long b/c all the pressure i feel in my girly regions is just too much! My tailbone, hips and the ligaments are aching more and more. Jacks kicks also are more painful now...but i love it all :)

This week i had 2 BPP/NSTs and lil man did great..phew! My appt with the Lovenox doc went well and ill be starting on Heparin at 35 wks...if im on Lovenox i cant get an epidural so since you never know how labor is going to go i wanted to at least have that option so if i end up with a c-section i wont have to be put under. This week i have a BPP/NST on monday and thursday, a growth u/s on tuesday and my OB appt on thursday. Crazy amount of appts!

This weekend was my side of the families/friends baby shower. My mom and sister did such an awesome job, they made the garage an outdoor theme...it was great. We got alot of the eesentials. Im so appreciative of everyone and their generosity!! Im so amazed all of this is happening. So now i get to putter around in the nursery and put it all away once we do the returning and get a few more things. When i did laundry this week i washed my hospital clothes and put them in the suitcase...that was surreal!!

32 wk update/belly and shower pics!!

Our baby shower for Petes side of the family was this weekend. We got so much and ALOT of the big things, we are so appreciative and im still overhwlemed that *I* had a BABY shower!!

Its why i Love him :):

My gram made this quilt! This will be cherished forever!!

Surrounded by presents!

Cute pic of us :) I dont know if you can see it unless you enlarge the pic but petes shirts says "Look what i did" with a stick figure of a pregnant lady, lol :)

my gram, mom, sister, sage and me!

32 wk belly pic!

Sorry it took me so long to update but as you can see, it was a busy weekend! The shower was beautiful my SIL did a GREAT job! It went by so fast, i had so much fun!!! Next weekend is my families and friends baby shower, im so excited. :)

Im feeling pretty good. Having a much harder time getting around some day but its not all the time. My ligaments are REALLY sore in my pelvic region and pregnancy insomnia is hitting more frequently but its OK :) I just lay awake and feel Jack move all around....and i mean ALL around! My bladder feels like a vice (or a 4 lb baby) is squishing it..ouch!

Last Thursday i had my first NST/BPP. Little man passed the BPP in minutes but was sleeping during the NST so it took alittle longer and the nurse had to keep coming over and rubbing the monitor to try and wake him up. He was moving like crazy right before she put the monitor on but he stopped as soon as she strapped me in, lol... he always stops when someone else touches me, lol.

This week i have an appt with the lovenox doctor to figure out when we will switch over to heparin. I also have a NST/BPP tomorrow and friday.

31 wk appt

Things are still good :)

BP was 136/70, i measured 32wks, Jacks heartbeat was good. He noticed my swollen feet but didnt seem concerned at all. I lost a half pound (and that was with wet hair!) So the total so far is 16 pounds.

He looked over my sugars and said they were perfectly fine and only wants me to check them 2 days a week now... woo-hoo!! :) :)

He said i should start my BPP and NST's next week. That will be 2x a week. I go back 8/22 for a growth u/s and 8/23 to see him. Im hoping all these appts make the time go by faster.

31 weeks!

6 more weeks and im going to be a mommy!!

Im feeling pretty good. But ill tell ya, if ONE more person tells me im not going to make it to 37wks b/c it looks like he's "about to fall out" im going to scream! Now, really, who says that to someone?! My ribs are achey but nothing major, heartburn here and there but also very tolerable. Jacks movements are very well defined now, and its more rolling and sliding then actual "kicking". Its pretty cool to see, my stomach does all these waves and turns. Im going to miss feeling him when im no longer pregnant! Oh, and im back to needing naps during the day but thank god its not as bad as the 1T!!

We went up to Maine this weekend and had a great time at my aunts. I got to go swimming for the first time all summer and it was quite nice :) Next weekend is Petes side of the familys baby shower, which im so excited about!! I never thought id have a baby shower and now its only a week away!! Tomorrow i have an OB appt. so ill update after that.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!!

Getting Antsy, but its AUGUST!

Ok i know im "only" 30+ wks but im starting to get really antsy. I def dont want him coming now but itd be OK for time to go by a tad quicker!!

I just want to see him, feel him, kiss him, see what he looks like ect. I want to be immersed in my little family with my great hubby. Pete even said last night "i cant wait to be sitting here with him sleeping on my chest." We are SO mentally ready for him.

Of course i have my fears. Will our realtionship change and how? Will we settle in a good routine? Will he LIKE me?! I see how much Sage loves my sister and she always says "i cant wait for you to feel this love." Im so excited to feel that love. Im petrified when hes a teenager...but thats a LONG ways away.

Surprisingly im not afraid of labor. Maybe b/c i know im in good hands and i know the hospital VERY well and the ppl taking care of my after i know personally (ill be staying on the floor i work on)! Dr. B is a great doc so i know he wont let anything happen. Im nervous for AFTER, will he be OK?

Im so excited, anxious and nervous! I cant wait :)

We're in the thirties!! (30 wks)

Yes, i know what your thinking...IM HUGE!!! Theres no denying that :) You will not believe the comments i recieve from ppl. Some guy in Target tonight let me go in front of him b/c "i needed to go home and pack my bags b/c i was about to have a baby!" When i told him i had 6-7wks left (i dont even tell ppl when im actually due since i get this look of HORROR) he looked at me and said "you have GOT to be kidding!?" Nice, huh? Then a lady walking her dog the other day told me i looked like her daughter who was due THAT DAY...thanks! I LOVE my belly and ppl just need to get over the fact that im carrying the way i am!

So other then the "OMG your HUGE!" comments, things are going well. My whole pelvic region is very sore. I guess its from the ligaments and joints loosening to prepare for birth. I dont think my body got the memo that my hips will do just fine with the size they are now! My bladder is also getting pretty beat up.

The Diabetes is by no lie a HUGE pain in the ass!! When your pregnant you want to eat what YOU want WHEN you want it and you just cant with this. My blood sugars have been fine. We went out to lunch today at the Wayside Inn today and i tried very hard to make good choices but you know what? I wanted some apple pie! lol..so much blood sugar was 127 2 hours after (should be 120 or below)..oh well. Ive also been doing 20 minute walks after each meal and that seems to really help and keep my sugars below 100. Im meeting with the nutritionist this coming friday and hopefully ill learn more choices as to what to eat b/c im getting sick of peanut butter and cheese and crackers real quick!! But ill do whatever i need to to keep this lil man healthy and strong.

I always talk about my pregnancy but havent given much credit to my great husband. He has been WONDERFUL! I seriously have the best hubby :) He rubs my feet every night, helps me get out of bed in the middle of the night so i can pee, rubs my back ect., ect. I think ill keep him. He also says "thanks for doing all that you do for our son", which really helps me. Being pregnant has def. made me fall more in love with him and brought our relationship to another level. I love him very much :)