Telling People

This has actually been quite funny. Since i had OHSS i have looked a good 4-5 mo. preggo even before my positive beta. Everyone i know that i see at work, all my friends, family know i've been going through HELL to have a second baby. Im very open about my struggles since that how i cope. I was out of work until i was close to 6 weeks due to the OHSS...everyone knew i did IVF (had to get a bunch of days off and do switches w/ people...and its kinda hard to hide my medication bag).

When i went back to work i had the worst nausea IN.THE.WORLD. (ok maybe im exagerrating but it was awful)...pair that with small tiny room that smell like feet or patients that eat ethic food...i looked green most of the time. So my big belly and my constant running to bathroom to dry heave gave me away in an instant. Plus my co-workers are like my BFFs, nothing gets by them...so they all know.

My family...well besides the obv. of our parents and siblings i hoped to keep this on the DL until the 2T....BUT i went to a xmas party with my big ol' belly walking in before me...cat out of the bag.

My friends...well alll my good friends who know i was going through all this kept tabs on me and knew my dates for tests and stuff...so no secret there.

So whose left? Extended family and Facebook. Which putting it on FB will tell the extended family (and the ppl that are my "friends"). I am so tempted to put up my NT Scan pic of the twins but Pete said not yet (he has been WAY more quiet about this then me and im pretty sure even his "good" friends dont even know). So once i tag that u/s pic with his name on it...surprise!!

I just want it out there. Im so done with being "cautious" i want to enjoy this. Ive worked my ass off to have this pregnancy. I know that technically the 2T starts at 13.3wks but im pretty sure that if my scan on Monday still looks good im letting the news out once i hit 12 weeks which is 2/2. I have all my u/s pics and belly pics ready to load on here but i cant do it until i upload them from my phone which the only way i can do that if posting it on FB first. Ive tried emailing them to myself but its not working ..grr!

So Monday im saying "goodbye" to Dr. P...i hate that :( She has been so great to me. I wish i could stay with her through it all. But ill be off to Dr. B who i also love but, he doesnt have a Vagina and has never been pregnant so he doesnt really "get it"...But he saved me and Jacks life and he knows my history so im sticking with him. Im going to give Dr. P some homemade wine that Pete made and the staff some baked goods with a card for each. Of course Dr. P's card is going to be all sappy. Its bittersweet. After these babes, we.are.DONE. And THAT is going to be one good feeling!

11 weeks and NT Scan

At this point the 2nd trimester is teasing me! Im feeling somwhat better nausea wise, its 50% of the day now vs. 100%...so ill take it. I still have major food adversions and nothing but pizza has been sounding good to me. That and fruit. Im exahusted - more like "foggy" all day long. Im so thankful Jack is 3 and not 18 mo. or this would be ALOT harder!

I went yesterday for a quick scan with my RE and everything is still trucking along.

BABY A measured 11.0
BABY B measured 11w2d

I may go back for one more scan next week but i might not since that will be 3 u/s's in a week!

Today i went for my NT Scan. This scan was abdominally (thank goodness cause my vag. needed a break from those damn probes!) According to this scan both babes measured 11 weeks on the nose. Baby A nuchal measurement was 1.2 B was 1.0...so both great! PHEW!!

10 weeks

Im a day early but i figured id update with my u/s news too.

First off: Both babes are doing great! Both measuring 10w (a day ahead) with a HRs of 169. It was so cool to see the babies today, they were moving and wiggling all around...i wish i could stay there all day and watch them.

Im still feeling icky with headaches, heartburn, tiredness the whole 9 yards that the 1T gives you. The nausea def. wins the race though.

I go back next week for another u/s.... this will be my last RE appt! Im excited about that but i LOVE my RE, i wish i could stay with her the whole time... I have to call my OBs office to schedule the NT scan.

I also went to OB MED and im now on Lovenox 40mg x1 a day. Ill start to wean off the PIO next week so in about 10ish days ill be down to one shot a day woo-hoo!!

9 weeks!

Still got all the same symptoms...im dry heaving at least once a day now. But i feel yucky all day long. It should be ending soon.

I went to Target yesterday and got some clothes that will actually fit me. My shirts no longer cut it. Even though it still just feels like bloat but i can tell my lower abdomen is getting fuller and heavier. I look like i did with Jack at about 14 weeks. Im hoping the bloat will lessen once i stop the progesterone 2 weeks.

I made my OB MED appt for next tuesday reguarding the heparin and that day im also going in for another ultrasound. Dr. P said she'll continue to keep seeing me until Dr. B takes over so im guessing ill get one more ultrasound after next week.

Im so ready for the 1T to be over....but im thankful there hasnt been any complications!!

8w5d ultrasound

We still have both babies with 2 heartbeats!

BABY A: measured 8w5d HB 185
BABY B: measured 8w6d HB 176

Im still suffering with 24/7 yuckiness, heartburn, exhaustion, now headaches. But ill take it all in an instant. The doc told me to take a unisom and B6 at night since my nasuea is the worst then.

I called my ob today and they are not seeing me til 2/7..ill be 13w6d! I wanted to do the NT scan so i think i need to call them back to schedule that.

I go back next tuesday to make sure everything is still OK!

8 weeks!

Still nauseous...it seriously is 24 hours a day. I cant sleep, walk, talk, smell ect. I couldnt even go into the kitchen today b/c something in there was setting off my gag reflex and i kept dry heaving in the sink. I had to have my mom stop at Mcdonalds on her way down to get me a egg mcmuffin cause i couldnt go in there! I am now eating what i can and totally for- going the gluten free diet. I NEED to eat and all those meals are making me sick...the smell alone drives me over the egde. I actually feel a tad better cause im getting more into me.

Some things that have helped me with the m/s....potato chips, jolly ranchers, sea bands, ginger ale, putting snacks at the bedside

The exhaustion has hit too.I sleep whenever possible. I get so tired my body aches.

Heartburn is here...been showing up pretty much daily. Weird since i never had it with Jack.

My bladder can now hold a gallon of urine! i am amazed on how much i pee at night and for how long! lol

Oh, one more thing, i ALMOST have cleavage! lol woo-hoo :)

im loving all of this though, lets me know the babes are in there thriving :)

Phew!

What a relief...we still have 2 babies with 2 heartbeats!!

BABY A: measured 7w5d (exactly what i am) w/ a HB of 169
BABY B: measured 7w5d w/ a HB of 179

My uterus measures 11 weeks and my ovaries are both the same size as my uterus! No wonder why i look huge!

Everything looks good. I go back next week for another u/s (for my peace of mind) and then the following tuesday. If everything still looks good then we'll schedule one more u/s at 11weeks and then im off to my OB.

Im still feeling m/s 24/7. I havent really puked...just constantly nauseous...but im starving at the same time which is majorly confusing. The exhaustion is also hitting and im sleeping whenever i can. My bras are getting tighter which is super exciting to me! lol :)

Thanks everyone for the support. Im shocked how many people read this. Im trying to keep this on the DL on facebook until the 2T and i appreciate no one letting the cat out of the bag.

7 weeks!

I heart Wednesdays :)

Im feeling pretty blechy today but im trying to ignore it and get out of the house today. Jack has a Toys R Us gift card he wants to use (he wants Lots-o-huggie Bear)...so thats my big plans.

I emailed my nautropath about eating some gluten since the gluten free stuff (bread, bagels, pasta ect.) is making me gag and all i want is Chicken Noodle soup! She said shes just worried about me having an intestinal reaction to it since its been so long. Well i had some chicken Noodle Soup last night and it was fine! im still going to try to stay away from it as much as possible but i dont think im going to deprive myself anymore.

So symptoms:

the nausea is pretty constant, i havent thrown up since last week (which i think was just a stomach bug anyways) and i dry heaved on xmas. But i feel pretty crappy most of the day.
Im starving...i need to eat what seems like every hour but i can only tolerate small portions. Apples have been by far my biggest food source. I am so sick of tortilla chips. Pretzels and chips and chicken broth really help my belly.
My boobs have def grown but they dont hurt, just funny feelings every now and then.
I have Preggo brain really bad....its actually pretty frustrating.
I still get some pulling in my uterus here and there too but not as much as in the beginning.
The exhaustion isnt bad, i just overall have no energy but i dont feel like i cant keep my eyes open...which is good since i have Jack to care for.

Christmas :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. We did :) This was the first year Jack "got it" so it was really exciting. On christmas even we went to my SIL's...i felt pretty crappy the hwole time but it was still fun to see everyone. That was the first time i took Zofran and it took 2 hours to kick in! Ever since i took it though i havent been as bad with the nausea. I had to work and it was crazy but whats what you get for being a nurse!

Christmas Jack was so excited. Pete the night before made cookies and put out oatmeal and carrots wit Jack (he videotaped for me). Jack all sorts of things...legos, moon dough, stinky garbage truck, imaginext spaceship, alphie, zhu zhu battle arena, crafts, weeble treehouse, clothes. He's been playing ever since!

Pregnancy wise im doing well. Im nauseous about 75% of the time but it doesnt seem as bad as last week..or maybe im just getting used to it. Eating has been a feat since i feel pretty gross and the smells really get to me. I still get some crampiness here and there and i had one night with some pretty bad round ligament pain. My bbs dont hurt but feel funny here and there. I look about 4 months pregnant but ive lost 4 pounds from not being able to eat alot. The exhuastion is starting to kick in. Between feeling queasy and tired, during my short bursts of normalcy i try to get alot done cause once im tired its all over!

One more week until the next u/s and im getting antsy!

Blech...

I am so nausous! I am not complaining at all...ill take it in an instant. It started the day of the u/s and it really hasnt let up. I vomited at work last night and it was so bad i had to come home early. Im not going to try and be a hero and called to ask for some Zofran. I havent taken it yet but im glad i have the option.

I have no appetite but im starving.. weird, i know. Everything im craving (Papa Ginos pizza, Wendys chix sandwich, itailian grinder) is all stuff i cant have cause of the gluten free diet. And if i eat another corn chip i think ill scream!

Im finding sucking on candy helps alot..ive had so many pieces my tongue hurts!

This is surreal!

We got 2 heartbeats!! HEARTBEATS!!!!! If you dont know my history the only other pregnancy that had a heartbeat is my wonderful little boy!

BABY A - measured 6weeks 110bpm

BABY B- measured 5w6d 102bpm (im 5w5d)

Im in shock! Im still cautious but each day helps me embrace this.

Im staying on the prednisone for another 2 weeks but weaning down from 10mg starting this week.

I go back Jan 3rd for another u/s and after that ill have one more u/s and im realeased to the OB. Seems like shes releasing me at 10 weeks.

Merry Christmas! <3 <3

Lots of emotions

Well yesterday was my family Christmas party. Since the OHSS is making me look a good 4 months pregnant i was trying to hide my situation...well, i failed! I was there 5 minutes and the questions started coming. So the news is out. I was trying to keep the TWINS part out too but that came out as well. Oh well.

I hate that i cant enjoy this. I feel like i need to see heartbeats before i can truly breathe a little easier. The 2T will start 2/2...im counting the days!

Tomorrow i go back for another u/s..ill only be 5w5d but the doc wants to make sure theres growth from the last one. I doubt we'll see heartbeats but maybe we'll get lucky.

Pete is pretty much freaking out. The day we found out he came home and called around to banks to see if we qualify for a construction loan ( we only have a 2 bedroom house). He made a spreadsheet of our finances and were putting caps on how much we can spend grocery shopping and such so we can get a good down payment and get out of this tiny house. We're going to make it work though. If all works out we are going to move our bedroom down cellar and put in a bathroom down there..make our room the babies room..and convert the detached garage into an office. Pete works from home so he cant be in here with a 4y.o and newborn twins and try to work.

Jack....i think this has been my biggest concern. Jack is my little buddy, my pal...we do everything together. He is OBSESSED with me. Constantly loving on me, always needs to be next to me. Im so nervous i wont have the time to love him as much as i do now. I would stay up 24 hours to be able to give all my kids all the love they want. I just hope this doesnt change our relationship too much. I know he's gonna love having bro and sisters...he asks for them ALL the time.

Im not looking fwd to the newborn stage. I love babies but those first 3-6months are tough. Maybe itll be different with 2 and i wont have time to dwell on the nursing and the exhaustion. Jack STILL doesnt sleep through the night. Im gonna be a zombie.

Nursing...i nursed Jack for 15 months. I loved it. Can i nurse twins and have Jack to take care of? I HATE pumping...HATE IT! But i know i can do it. Itll save us a boat load of money so im going to try my hardest but i know for a fact im gonna have to supplement too. Jack was a lazy nurser maybe these babies will be better at it.

Pregnancy...My energy is GONE. I have NONE. I just want to lay on the couch and rest. Im STARVING. Im trying to get in alot of protein to help the babes grow. Im craving fruit and soup. I think i ate 3 apples and 2 pears yesterday on top of a whole plate full from the xmas party before i went to bed! Queasiness/Dizziness hits if i dont eat or just randomly throughout the day..but nothing too bad. My boobs have periods of soreness where it takes my breathe away and they are itchy!

So far, so good....so far, so good.

Why did i write that twice do you ask??

Because its TWINS!

They are both measuring 5w5d (im 5w 1d) so thats great. There was a fetal pole and yolk sac in each sac. I cant believe it!!!

I have pics that i keep looking at to help it all sink in.

So about my beta drama that gave me a complete heart attack for 48 hours...they thought it was a week apart not 4 days. Their protocol is to do the beta a week after the second so they never looked at the dates. My Dr. P was awesome about it took a good 15 minutes to calm me down. After that we did the ultrasound. I had a feeling from the get-go that it was twins so i wasnt really surprised. We were probably the most calm couple they have ever had that just found out that they are having twins. We know we have a long way to go...

But for right now, in this moment, everything is good. I go back Monday for another u/s to check growth and to see if there is a heartbeat. Ill only be 5w5d though so who knows.

TWINS!!!

Beta #3

First off im feeling SO MUCH better! Im still bloated but everything is back to normal...it feels good to feel good again!

So onto my drama today. My beta is 2100 @ 20dpo. Doubling time of 56 hours. I was going to be happy with anything over 2000 so i was happy until the nurse said the doctor (who isnt mine btw) thinks thats "borderline"... WTF??

So of course ive been Dr. Googling up a storm...

Once your beta reaches 1200 it can take up to 96 hours to double and im well within the range of 48-72 hours of doubling....PLUS im still off the charts for a singleton or a twin pregnancy according to betabase. 2 or 3 babes might have implanted and im losing one is also a possibility.

They want me to come back on thursday for another beta and an u/s. I thought about it tonight and im am NOT doing the beta. Id rather go by just the u/s. I should have refused the 3rd beta too...UG!

Trying to remain positive.

Turning around?

Im afriad to say it but i *think* im starting to really feel better. My belly is still really bloated, im having heart palpatations, short of breathe but, i dont feel like im dying!

The worst part is the intestinal cramps i get. They are the worst is my belly is empty.

Pregnancy symptoms are not really sure of. The main one is some crampiness here and there and my boobs will hurt for short periods of time. Im not sure if the nausea is OHSS related or pregnancy...oh and i could eat.a. house.!

They want me to go back toesday for another beta - just to torture me i guess but, they also need to check on the OHSS. If the beta rising correctly it should be around 2400 at that time.

happy news!!

299 to 647!!! doubling time of 43 hours...

Symptom wise, its hard to tell since this OHSS is prety much kicking my ass.

I really wish i could be super estatic but im still so scared... damn RPL!

OHSS sucks donkey balls!

Wednesday night i woke up in EXCUCIATING pain. I felt like my intestines were going to explode. I seriously thought i was going to die, it hurt so bad. Pete brought me to the hospital (thank goodness my mom was here cause i dont think i would have been able to wait for anyone to come get him). I was shaking and crying it hurt so much. I took 2 Tyl #3's and bby the time i got to the hospital i felt 50% better.

The Triage OB's dont see much OHSS so they were all sorts of concerned over the fluid in my lungs, my tachypneas (fast breathing) and tachycardia (my HR was 120's)...i tried to explain ive been like this for 3 days but the PAIN is what is concerning. They did a chest x-ray and i had "moderate plural effusions", they did ABG's and all sorts of other bloodwork.

IN the end i stayed the night for observation. Nothing happened for the rest of the night so i came home yesterday morning.

I have to take the Tyl #3's cause the belly pain is so bad. Its all my oragans all smushed, on top of the Progesterone making my intestines being sluggish, im not having a good time. Dr. P came in and said my blood was "turning around" so i should start feeling better in the next day or so.

I sure hope so cause this is awful!

BETA #2 today....eeek!!

Results are in!

Drumroll please....

at 14dpo (or 11dp3dt) my beta is 299!!

299!

RPL has ruin me because im not super excited..yet! I wish i was running around the house screaming but im still very guarded. Ill feel much better on friday once we know if it doubled or not.

299 is fantastic i just need to wrap my head around it.

Oh, i gained another pound and 2 inches around my belly. Im still short of breathe but im managing..nighttime is the worst.

299!!

BTW my beta with jack was 261 at 16 dpo..

This is horrible!

I havent slept in 3 days..i am in so much pain. My belly is 40 inches around!!! 40! I get attacks in my belly and it feel like soemone is ripping my insides out. If i do too much activity i cant breathe for a good 10 minutes. I can only eat about 5 bites before i become short of breathe or get severe stomach cramps...my lungs are burning, the heatburn is awful.

i feel like im dying,this sucks!

This is def in the top 3 worst things ive had to deal with...It was not this bad last night.

They said it can get worse - you have got to be kidding me!

I cant lay down, i cant sit up, i cant roll on my side, if i stand for too long i get dizzy.

I went in today and i gained 1 1/2 pounds in a day and my belly grew a half inch. I have to go back again today to get more blood work and measurements.

I had to take TYl #3's tonight to relax me cause i just cant take it anymore.

BETA tomorrow!...hoping this is all worth it!!

OHSS

This morning i woke up and started doing things around the house i became short of breathe. This weekend everyday i felt more and more uncomfortable so i wasnt surprised.

i called the RE and they had me come right in. My BP was 158/82 my pulse was in the 120's my respirations were 28-32...they did a u/s and there is considerable amount of fluid in my abdomen. The fluid is pushing up on my oragns which is whats making me very uncomfortable.

The RE said this could indicate im pregnant since this is a late OHSS but its not a definite. I havent taken a test cause im too scared to see a negative test and have to struggle to breathe...thatd make for a bad day...

My blood work came back "hemoconcentrated" so its thick since im dehydrated. I need to go back tomorrow for a repeat. I need to try to drink alot of gatorade to get the fluid out. Thats hard since my belly cant hold much with the presuure. Ive been regurgitating ( nice, i know)..everytime i take a sip.

Im just really hoping this is because im pregnant with a healthy bab(ies) ...