Stuck in a moment

Everyone keeps reminding me how fast this time goes and it makes me so sad... Im already dreading Jack to be older and off on his own...yes, i know hes only 2 week old! So i want to write out all the things i do with him now, so in a month (or 10 years) i can remember my lil baby :)

I love his eyes...when he has them open he looks all around...he settles in on my face every now and then and when he does he stops and just stares.

if you talk to him and hes looking th other way he'll turn his head towards you.

when he nurses he always places his hand on my breast as if he's holding it.

he doesnt cry when he's hungry he "talks"

he lets it be known he has to poop b/c he grunts and grunts until he gets it out. And the noises that can come out of such a tiny baby!!

he hates being on his tummy but will tolerate it. He can lift his head and move it from side to side and he's even rolled over 8 times...both sides..im not even kidding, pete saw it too so i have back-up! The first time we did tummy time he was 8 days old and he rolled over then. He also likes to kick out his legs while on his tummy.

He wakes on his own now to nurse and usually wakes every 2-3 hours...it takes him about an hour to nurse...he likes to snack.

he likes his hands out when swaddled. He likes to put them above his head...this is how i know hes done nursing too, if the hands are not above his head and hes sleeping then he's not done.

he cuddles up with pete in a lil ball on his chest but with me he likes to be across my belly to feel me breathe.

the past couple of days his face has really filled out and he's looking more and more like Pete.

i cant believe how fast his nails grow!

I think he must be about 7 pounds now. He's outgrown some of his clothes but he's still pretty much in preemie stuff...some newborn sizes now fit him.

He "talks" quite a bit when he's alert.

I love my little boy so much. Postprtum wise im doing well. Emotionally, im still dealing with some things but hopefully it will pass soon. Its crazy the thoughts you get. Like the other day i was so sad that this might be my last baby and i may never have daughter...it made me feel so guilty b/c i felt like i wasnt grateful to have him. And i cant get the idea of SIDS out of my head...im so scared to lose him. I hate falling asleep...before when i was pregnant i would think of how my birth was going to go and how all the events could be played out...it would relax me...now i lay there and i dont know what to think about. It always resorts back to how the birth actually went and it just makes me so sad...im hoping it can pass soon and i can move on.