The first week (and a half)

Jack is wonderful. He's doing the typical eat, sleep, poop newborn routine. He's still nursing like a champ and its causing no pain! He's only had one rough night where he wanted to nurse every 10 minutes for 5 hours, causing Miss Mama to be a zombie. I do pump if he doesnt nurse for a full 15 minutes so last night pete and i tried to have him to do a feeding so all id have to do was get up and pump and go back to bed instead of staying up for an hour and a half nursing, changing him ect. Well it didnt work out...the bottle made him gassy and he wasnt satisfied so i had to nurse anyways...so an hour and a half later i went to bed while pete snored...its OK thought i felt so bad i didnt nurse him in the first place...i really do love it.

Pete has been just fantastic! I have no idea how im going to do everything when he goes back to work! He makes all my meals, is doing all the housework, taking care of the dogs ect., ect., plus he changes diapers and bonds with "monster". He's such a wonderful father and husband...im truly blessed.

Jack had his pedi appt. on wednesday and he weighed 5pounds 7 ozs. which i was told was good but i was hoping he'd be more. I think hes gained since then (lets hope since hes attached to me 18 hours out of the day!) We go back monday for a follow-up.

On friday he got circumsized and i was a total wreck. But he made it through just fine and its healing beautifully.

Emotionally im still kinda iffy. Yesterday i was fine until i talked to my mother (long story) and today i think i broke down at least 5 times. They are tears of frustration, joy, anxiety, happiness, shock...you get the idea. I know this is all normal right now. I just cant help but look at Jack and tear up...esp now that i know what caused the hemmoragging and that the infant mortality rate is 75%! Jack has always been a miracle but now he is even more! Im so thankful he is OK. But i feel like whereever i turn there's something or someone telling me he may not be. Like yesterday i got a letter saying he passed his hearing test but he needs to retake it at 6mo. b/c of his low apgar scores...come ON, something ELSE?!

I just want to enjoy my lil man...im trying not to dwell on the "what ifs" and focus on what is going on NOW (him acting perfectly normal).

Oh, and i know alot of my friends read this (but dont comment!) so im letting you all know id love for you all to come down and visit so please call (dont worry about waking me or Jack) and tell me when your coming....i want to show him off!! :)

We've got a baby boy! :)

Jack Eugene born 9/19 6pounds 1oz. 18.8 inches

i need to sit down and write out a detailed birth story even though its something im actually trying to forget....but heres the short version

cervidil was placed at 1050pm.

I took an Ambien and woke up at 3am with contractions...nothing too bad but enough to know they werent "just cramps".

Cervidil qas taken out at 500 and we were transferred down to L&D at 615

my doctor came in at 630 to check me an break my water

water was broken at 635

Jack was born by emergency c-section at 642am..i felt everything

when my water was broken i guess the blood vessels to the placenta were embedded into the amniotic sac so Jack and i started hemmorraging.

if it wasnt for my quick thining OB and the fantastic NICU doctors, Jack wouldnt have made it.

His apgars were 1,2,2..which is not good at all.

He was intubated and transported to NICU...i saw them working on him and knew it wasnt good..when they transported him to NICU theydidnt even let me see him...thats when i lost it.

i waited so long for this moment and he was ripped away from me and i didnt even get to SEE him!

Since the tears are now coming i cant really write too much more about that...i will soon though.

But in the end Jack ended up doing wonderfully!! He was off the vent by 3pm that day and everytime they did bloodwork it kept getting better and better. He needed a blood transfusion and numerous saline boluses to replace all the fluid he lost.

He as able to come up to my room just 36 hours later...everyone was in shock on how well he did.

We have to follow up with a nuero doc and he may get placed into Early Intervention b/c of such a rough start. He may have some Nuerological problems down the line, which is really stressing me out, but right now he is acting like an appropriate newborn - whew!!

We got home on Sunday and things are going really well. He is nursing like a champ and barely cries. Im doing OK pysically...still in some pain. The hardest part has been accpeting how he was born. Im so thankful he is OK but im seriously traumatized by the events of his birth. Im cried for 2 days now and i just wont let him out of my sight...i know this is normal now..but im so frustrated that this (giving birth) couldnt go right since it was so hard to carry him!! I know that sounds petty..im working on it.

Tonights the night!!

Well im a fingertip dialated, 75% effaced and baby is low...woo-hoo!!!

The doctor was very happy with that along with the fact that im contracting. The hospital will call me sometime tonight to tell me when to come in. When i get there they will give me Cervidil and monitor me overnight and check me in the morning. Depending on the progress overnight ill either get my water broken or start pit or both.

Im very anxious right now and i just want to be there and get this process started!

Im planning on posting pics and my birth story on here after i have him...we are bringing the laptop to the hosp.

Please wish us luck. OH MY GOD!!!!

37 weeks - FULL TERM!!!

Oh thank goodness! I remember thinking back to April when i started hemmorraging at 13 wks that this day would never get here...and here it is! This pregnancy by far has not been easy. Physically wise its been fine...no major heartburn, didnt throw-up, sleep hasnt been so bad...i've really enjoyed feeling pregnant.

On the other hand though...the shots 2 x a day along with the 4 finger pokes, the constant monitoring, the STUPID diabetes (i cannot WAIT to eat sugar again!), the worry over the bleeding, the lack of growth in Jacks legs...then lack in growth overall, worrying about the clotting d/o and hoping i make it to delivery day with a healthy LIVING baby...I AM DONE! I want him OUT, OUT, OUT!!!

I know i'll always worry b/c im a mom but, this part NEEDS to be over. I just want to see him, touch him, smell him...hear him cry, dress him, play with him, nurse him, see pete with him, see how the dogs react, see what he looks like. I am so ready for this to be OVER.

I will miss being pregnant, dont get me wrong. I'll miss feeling and seeing him move, the looks i get from ppl in public, like im some kind of cirus freak (im just pregnant people!), the attention i get from Pete, the excuse to take naps...i wish i could say the excuse to eat whatever i want but that didnt happen....oh how badly i want an oreo cookie shake!

Im so excited that this time next week ill be updating with my birth story instead of telling you all my symptoms and worries. This has def been a long road. Im ready to have my little family and start down a different path. 4 more days...

last growth scan

i def got a peanut on my hands!

his guesstamated weight is 5lbs 9 ozs., his femurs are still 4 weeks behind (which actually relieved me since i was worried they were going to be even further behind). He is measuring 35w2d (im 36.4) last u/s he was 3-4 days behind now he's 9 days. I dont know if this considers him IUGR or not. I also dont know if the doctor will call me tomorrow to go over this or if we'll talk about it on tuesday.

Im not too concerned with all this since i was 4-6 at birth, my sister was 6-4, my mom was 6-0 and my gram was 6-8..my dh was only 7-0 also. So we have small babies. Im just concerned since he consisntently keeps lagging more and more behind in growth with each u/s.

either way, we'll see what his real weight is in a week!

36.3 appt update - GRR!

I HATE it when doctors change their minds!!! So now it looks like next wednesday is the day instead of this friday, i know its only a couple days but UG, i was SO CLOSE! I just want this baby out - im so scared something is going to go wrong with him.


So i get that news, and the doctor tries to talk me into waiting the 26th and i think my exact words were "are you kidding me?!" He's the one whose been telling me all along we need to get him out as soon as term hits and now hes changing his mind?! I told him "Nope, were doing wednesday and thats final!"


And i lost 3 pounds IN A WEEK! I have never lost 3 pounds in a week, even with diet and exercise and here i am 9 months pregnant and i cant gain weight for the life of me ( i havent gained anything in 2 1/2 mo....just lost)! He said he didnt care unless i was measuring small...guess what? IM MEASURING SMALL....oh do the worries end (i know they dont!)? So now i have a growth u/s tomorrow night to see whats happening in there. If it seems like Jack has IUGR(restricted growth) then the induction may be moved up. thank goodness i get biweekly nst/bpp's cause i think id lose it!


its always something...

36 weeks :)

Well ill be perfectly fine if my water breaks right now! I NEVER thought id get to this point, but here we are! I still have all the aches and pains but surprisingly have been sleeping fairly well. He's definately lower as i can feel him put pressure on my cervix here and there.

These past few days are dragging and im just trying to get to tuesday to see if its definately going to be friday or next wednesday. Either way the most ill be waiting to meet my lil man is 11 days!

Yesterday i went to the salon and got my hair done, got waxed, and got a pedicure so im all beautified for the hospital.

So now we just wait for Tuesday for the final say...thank goodness my appt is 7:45am so i dont have to wait allll day :)

looks like he'll be here NEXT week!!

Well ive been thinking 9/19 all along but today the doctor said:

"when you come in next week, we'll set up the induction for the end of the week!" So it looks like 9/14. I'll be 36.6wks so he should be just fine but there is a small chance that he may need some NICU time. But i can handle him being in NICU for a few days, but i cant handle losing him.

My appt was good. Still havent gained any weight since the stupid diabetes diagnosis so im still at about 15 pounds (according to the docs scale, 13 according to mine). Jacks HR was perfect, my BP was perfect, i had some protein in my urine but he didnt seem to care since everything else was fine. The GBS culture was done (no biggie) and im not dialted yet...drats!

I go back next tuesday and will hopefully have the finalized plans for the induction! YAY!!

tons of pictures!

35 weeks...he's in the process of kicking me so thats why my face looks distorted!

belly button still hasnt popped out!

Nursery pics:

SHOWER pics (my side of the fam's..didnt as many pics as i'd of liked)

me and curry

Adam and Sage

the race is close! :)

DECORATIONS:

wish i had before pics!!

35 weeks!!!!!!

We're getting close!

I am VERY uncomfortable now. About 80% of his movements are really hurting me, i can barely stand for more then 5 minutes, i just cant get comfortable. I love it all though and im so excited that in about 2- 2 1/2 weeks im going to meet my little man. I also love the pain b/c i know he is growing and getting stronger.

We are ready for this lil guy. Everything is washed, put away, assembled ect. We just need him :)

My BPP/NSTs all were fine this week. Im going tuesday for 35wk appt, were ill get my GBS culture done and an internal exam (im so excited about this, even though i know its very unlikely anything will be happening).

Oh and dont worry im posting a belly pic for today along with some more shower pics...so check back later for those :)