The first week (and a half)

Jack is wonderful. He's doing the typical eat, sleep, poop newborn routine. He's still nursing like a champ and its causing no pain! He's only had one rough night where he wanted to nurse every 10 minutes for 5 hours, causing Miss Mama to be a zombie. I do pump if he doesnt nurse for a full 15 minutes so last night pete and i tried to have him to do a feeding so all id have to do was get up and pump and go back to bed instead of staying up for an hour and a half nursing, changing him ect. Well it didnt work out...the bottle made him gassy and he wasnt satisfied so i had to nurse anyways...so an hour and a half later i went to bed while pete snored...its OK thought i felt so bad i didnt nurse him in the first place...i really do love it.

Pete has been just fantastic! I have no idea how im going to do everything when he goes back to work! He makes all my meals, is doing all the housework, taking care of the dogs ect., ect., plus he changes diapers and bonds with "monster". He's such a wonderful father and husband...im truly blessed.

Jack had his pedi appt. on wednesday and he weighed 5pounds 7 ozs. which i was told was good but i was hoping he'd be more. I think hes gained since then (lets hope since hes attached to me 18 hours out of the day!) We go back monday for a follow-up.

On friday he got circumsized and i was a total wreck. But he made it through just fine and its healing beautifully.

Emotionally im still kinda iffy. Yesterday i was fine until i talked to my mother (long story) and today i think i broke down at least 5 times. They are tears of frustration, joy, anxiety, happiness, shock...you get the idea. I know this is all normal right now. I just cant help but look at Jack and tear up...esp now that i know what caused the hemmoragging and that the infant mortality rate is 75%! Jack has always been a miracle but now he is even more! Im so thankful he is OK. But i feel like whereever i turn there's something or someone telling me he may not be. Like yesterday i got a letter saying he passed his hearing test but he needs to retake it at 6mo. b/c of his low apgar scores...come ON, something ELSE?!

I just want to enjoy my lil man...im trying not to dwell on the "what ifs" and focus on what is going on NOW (him acting perfectly normal).

Oh, and i know alot of my friends read this (but dont comment!) so im letting you all know id love for you all to come down and visit so please call (dont worry about waking me or Jack) and tell me when your coming....i want to show him off!! :)