NOT GIVING UP!!!

OK so its officially over...started bleeding and cramping today. Had to call out of work and spent the day on the couch with my wonderful 2 year old (again...thank god for him!)

So the consult on Wednesday...

When i first walked in she said to me "i hope this doesnt deter you"...and "i know you were really upset"...Well, obviously! When you are giving yourself 3 shots a day going in for appointments almost everyday, doing acupuncture, eating a whole pineapple, having your beloved child be away from home for 4 nights in a week, and wishing, hoping and praying every second of the day....then to hear it worked and then moments later learn its all coming crashing down?...im pretty sure ANYBODY would be upset!

So we talked about a bunch of things.

Trying on our own - we can but its not ideal. With the chance of ectopic and probably having miscarraige after miscarriage isnt my idea of a good time. So that got checked off rather quickly.

IVF/PGD - Im PISSED i had a miscarriage with the PGD and now im pretty much jaded by it. Theres a 10-15% chance of putting back in embryos that are abnormal or you are throwing out embies that are normal. You can have a miscarraige even IF your baby is normal. I had put in 7 embryos over the course of all these cycle and i have one baby. It doesnt make sense to me! I truly feel like these embies are being manipulated too much and cant "recover" enough to keep going. I feel that if i put jack in without PGD id still have him. So after much debate with myself and pete we decided no more PGD.

Just IVF - the winner. We are going to put in the best FOUR embryos on day 3....yes FOUR. Or put back all the blasts on day 5. I need to weigh those pros and cons again with her. She seemed to lean towards the day 3 transfer because they are back in thier natural enviroment sooner.

Some other changes: Going on 2cc's of Progesterone right away since my prog is always under 20 at my check. Im staying on the same dose of Follistim (180). We are doing a months worth of Doxycyline (both pete and I) since i tested + for Mycoplasma and Endometritis before i had Jack...so she said instead of doing another biopsy of my lining shes just going to treat it. And shes putting me on Medrol for 4 days after egg retrieval (it suppresses the immune system) so my immune system doesnt think the baby is a foriegn invader. And im also going to get another sonohystergram to check the lining of my uterus....again.

Whew, get all that?

I called today and told them today is my DAY 1 so in 3 weeks i should start back up with the Lupron. And Egg retrieval will be in April.

The one good thing about not doing PGD is i can hop right into another cycle instead of waiting until May. I need this to all be done and over with.

:::fingers crossed::::