Dear Jack (3mos)

I came up with this clever idea to write letters to Jack throughout his life for numerous reasons...corny i know :)

Jack,
Its christmas time and i sit in the living room and when i look around at my surroundings its amazing how much youve changed my life. Last year your dad and i didnt put up a christmas tree or anything b/c we were so bummed we still didnt have a baby or were pregnant. Now there's a tree in the living room with sparkly lights with mounds of presents under the it. We also have stockings hung with presents pouring out of them. I feel a sense of peace and true happiness. I feel Christmas!

You of course have no idea what is going on, your just happy to be held and loved and im more then happy to give that to you.

Now your probably thinking "wow my mom is corny"..so true :) But i wanted to start these letters now so you have an idea how i feel about being a mom and your milestones at certain points.

When i was pregnant with you so many people told me it was going to change my life. I believed them but how could i really know HOW it was going to. Now i know...
my life now is more amazing. The love i have for you is astounding and really scary. There really is no words to explain what a baby does to your heart, especially your own.
My life is also much more scarier. I mean i have to mold you into a decent human being. Thats me and your dads job...no pressure...
I know have a purpose. YOU.

I look at you and your so vunerable right now and depend on me for everything. One day your going to grow up and not need me. That just breaks my heart! Im hoping youll always need me in some aspect, but i just want to hold onto this time for as long as i can. I wish i could just bottle it up. I hope i'll always remember your smells and the sound of your laughter and coos. They are just too precious.

My biggest fear is to lose you. I have awful thoughts that youll be taken away from me too soon. I really wish those thoughts will dissapear b/c its quite scary. I guess worry just comes with the territory, but im not always going to be able to protect you. I also fear you wont like me ( you wont when your a teen but thats how all kids are) but i just hope you like me. I hope you want to have lunch with me when your all grown up. I hope you come to me for advice. I hope you call me to just say hello. I hope your there for me like ill always be for you. I hope we get along and can laugh together. I hope im a "cool" mom and you feel comfortable with me and your dad enough so you can come to us for anything. I hope you know we'll never let you suffer and we always are looking for the best for you. I hope you know we'll love you no matter what and we will always be there for you.

Ona lighter note, this is how you are right now. Your sleeping through the night now. You come into bed with me in the morning and we nap for a few hours..this is my favorite time of day.You wake up all smiles. You love your changing table and smile and giggle when i change you. You love it when we talk to you, you talk back with coos and giggles. You hate getting dressed, especially putting on your shirts! You really enjoy your swing, you watch the dogs and us walk around. We sit in a chair next to it and talk to you and you just give the biggest smiles. You love looking in the mirror and watching us touch your face and talk. Youll mimic what we say, its really neat. You also enjoy the playmat and baby einstein toy we have. You know us ,pamma, mimi and pop-pop. You get a little fussy with auntie but she loves you to death (i wish we lived closer). Sage cant get enough of you and gives you kisses and hugs. She even tried to share a book with you the other day by throwing it in your face ( you poor thing, it was the first time you felt scared)..but she was just trying to share with you. I wonder what your relationship will be like.
You look like dad right now, so much its kinda scary! You get compliments on your beautiful blue eyes and how cute you are. You hate the carseat and will scream the whole ride. I need to use the snugli when we go shopping too. You love to look around and hate being confined.

Dad is a wonderful father and hes so excited to learn more about you. He cant wait to go to games with you, to teach you how to hunt and fish. You turn to his voice and smile big when he talks to you. He holds you and tells you how much he loves you all the time.

So motherhood...its true what people have told me about it, but i have no solid words to describe it. Im scared to death of it but i love it. If i could id have a house full of babies. But right now im enjoying our time together. I cant wait for the future to see who you become.
Merry Christmas Baby boy <3
Love,
Mommy

3 months

i dont nearly have the time i used to have to keep up with this blog so im sorry. So if anyone is reading please leave some comment so its worth my while.

i havent posted pics on here of lil man b/c its a huge PIA if no one is reading. I do have a ton on my myspace account so friend request me if you wanna see my handsome lil dude :)
myspace.com/torri106

Jack is doing really well. He's full of smiles now and is so close to laughing. He'll laugh with his eyes and let out a lil peep..its too cute. He's sleeping really well now from 830pm to about 4-5am. I nurse him and bring in into bed with me and he'll sleep/nurse until 830-9am. He looks more and more like Pete its kinda scary. He def knows me, pete and my mom. If a stranger holds him he kinda freaks (i feel bad for the person but it makes me happy inside when he stops when i hold him lol). He's bringing his hands together and sucks on them. He loves the playmat and we're starting to warm up to the bumbo. His favorite thing is to walk around with me or pete and look around. He fights his naps and gets pale when hes tired. He loves his changing table and is all smiles when you talk to him on it. ummm...i cant think of any other lil tidbits :)

im going back to work in 2 weeks and im sick over it. I do not want to go but itll be good to get out. But im not a big fan on leaving him for 10 hours!! Tonight pete and I are finishing our xmas shopping and my mom is going to watch him...i think i can handle that...but 10 hours away from him...:(

One year ago...

It was a year ago that i got the dreaded news that our first IVF/PGD cycle didnt work. I can still feel the pain of that moment. Pete and i were so devasted. I didnt talk to anyone for days. After the phone call we went for a walk with the dogs at the Norton Turkey Farm. We talked about how it WILL happen one day and we just need to stay positive. Turthfully, i hate going back there b/c i just remember that pain.

Trying to have a baby ran my life for 16 months. That really doesnt sound like too long and i know ppl where it took YEARS. But those 16 months were hell. After each m/c i felt like my dream was further out of my reach. The pain of not being able to keep a pregnancy was the worst i had ever felt.

I didnt give up though and im so glad i didnt. I now have a beautiful baby boy who is my world. I have a hard time even taking a shower b/c he'll be out of my sight! Being a mother is truly the best thing..no words can explain it.

So for those who are still trying...dont give up...remain positive. And when it does happen it will feel like youve had that little baby your whole life!

2 months old!

I cant believe! I also cant believe i have to go back to work in 5 weeks :( Im so sad about that!

Jack is doing really well. He was 11 pounds 5 ounces and 21 1/2 inches at his pedi appt. He went from being in the 10th percentile to the 50th with weight (still in 10th for height, but im short so no worries). He's becoming a chubba, he even has rolls on his hands! He also got 3 shots and one oral one. He handled the shots pretty well (screamed when he got them tho :( ) but i gave him tylenol throughout the day and he was OK. He is also developing perfectly fine...keep up the good work, buddy! :)

He smiles all the time now. Its by far the greatest...it really melts me everytime he does it. He reaches for toys and trys to grab them. He loves to feel textures...he is always rubbing my shirt when he nurses. He kicks his legs like crazy. He tracks his toys really well, and even goes diagonally. He "talks" all the time. He LOVES to look around...im constantly walking around the house with him b/c he hates to just stay still. Right now he's been in his swing for 10 minutes and thats a record! He also enjoys us talking to him, he fixates on our faces and smiles big when we make faces at him. He really likes his baths too...he kicks up a storm...i swear he'd stay in it all day if i let him.

His schedule is getting more predictable. He's been sleeping for a good 5 hour stretch in the beginning of the night 9-10 to 2-3. But then he's up again every 2 hours...but you gotta start somewhere, right? He is alert most of the day with catnaps here and there. Around 6 is when his fussy time begins and we give him a bath and play with him until 7 then i nurse him until he falls asleep which isnt until 9-10. Yes i nurse him pretty consistently during that time but he's mostly just using me as a pacifer. Ive tried EVERYTHING to get him to take the pacifer but he just wont. I dont know what petes gonna do when i go back to work! I work 3p-11p so hes gonna have to deal alone. Good thing its only 3 days a week!!

I hope everyone had a good turkey-day. We went to my in-laws...it was a very relaxing day.

Sorry for such a book but its rare i can update these days! I'll post some more pics soon!

Pictures!!!

my lil family :)

halloween and one of his first smiles! doesnt it just melt you?
cousins...sages 1st b-day!

1 mo. old

SMILE!!
1 mo. photo
super-cute!
dad kisses
in my swing

looking outside
first bath

6 weeks

My baby boy is 6 weeks old now! He is just the best :)

He started smiling about a week ago. Its still not constant but we get a good 1-2 a day..it just melts my heart! He's rolling over still from belly to back. He lifts his head really high when he does belly time. Hes tracking his toys and responds to our voices. He also stands when you put his feet on the ground. Everyone says hes a very strong baby.

Hes probably about 9 pounds now and today i had to put all his newborn clothes away. We are officially in 0-3 months now. I cant belive how big he is now. I know his considered "tiny" but to me he's HUGE since he was 5-6 when we brought him home.

I ended up having to stop nursing for 48 hours b/c he developed breastmilk jaundice...that was about 2 weeks ago and it was awful! But we are now back on track and he is as pink as pink can be!

I have some super cute pics i hope to post very soon of his first halloween and him and Sage together.

gtg Jack is crying!

1 month old!

Gotta be quick b/c i got a fussy baby right now!

Jack now weight 8 pounds 2 ounces and is 20 inches long! So he's gained lil over 2 and half pounds sincw his one week appt. and 2 inches! Go BUDDY! He still looks a lil jaundiced so we had to go to the hospital for a blood draw :( I havent heard anything so i hope all is well. She said it could be "breastmilk jaundice", so i may need to stop breastfeeding for a few days :( I hope not since i love doing it. He also has slight reflux so we need to elevate his bassinet and keep him upright for a half hour after feeds.

He nurses more frequently now, about every 2 hours and does one side at a time. The insurance co. took away my hospital grade pump yesterday so i cant pump anymore :( My sis gave me her pump but it hurts like a bitch - i dont know how she exclusively pumped for 4 mo. with this hoover!!

i wake up about 3x a night to nurse him. He has a fussy time from 8p-12a. He just wants to nurse, nurse, nurse...ive tried a pacifer but he gags on it, then spits up, thus he's hungry again. So speaking of that i gtg b/c he's screaming!

Boatload of pictures!

These were taken tonight. I wish i could post petes baby pics, b/c he looks just like him!

Last belly pics...this is us on our way to the hospital

Our first walk... he was about a week old

Look how tiny!
So sweet...
Chillin with my dad :)
chattin up a storm...

yeeesss?!...

Curry, Adam, Sage and Jack
Our Little Fam...
Relaxin on the Boppy
Sweet Sleepy baby..

Stuck in a moment

Everyone keeps reminding me how fast this time goes and it makes me so sad... Im already dreading Jack to be older and off on his own...yes, i know hes only 2 week old! So i want to write out all the things i do with him now, so in a month (or 10 years) i can remember my lil baby :)

I love his eyes...when he has them open he looks all around...he settles in on my face every now and then and when he does he stops and just stares.

if you talk to him and hes looking th other way he'll turn his head towards you.

when he nurses he always places his hand on my breast as if he's holding it.

he doesnt cry when he's hungry he "talks"

he lets it be known he has to poop b/c he grunts and grunts until he gets it out. And the noises that can come out of such a tiny baby!!

he hates being on his tummy but will tolerate it. He can lift his head and move it from side to side and he's even rolled over 8 times...both sides..im not even kidding, pete saw it too so i have back-up! The first time we did tummy time he was 8 days old and he rolled over then. He also likes to kick out his legs while on his tummy.

He wakes on his own now to nurse and usually wakes every 2-3 hours...it takes him about an hour to nurse...he likes to snack.

he likes his hands out when swaddled. He likes to put them above his head...this is how i know hes done nursing too, if the hands are not above his head and hes sleeping then he's not done.

he cuddles up with pete in a lil ball on his chest but with me he likes to be across my belly to feel me breathe.

the past couple of days his face has really filled out and he's looking more and more like Pete.

i cant believe how fast his nails grow!

I think he must be about 7 pounds now. He's outgrown some of his clothes but he's still pretty much in preemie stuff...some newborn sizes now fit him.

He "talks" quite a bit when he's alert.

I love my little boy so much. Postprtum wise im doing well. Emotionally, im still dealing with some things but hopefully it will pass soon. Its crazy the thoughts you get. Like the other day i was so sad that this might be my last baby and i may never have daughter...it made me feel so guilty b/c i felt like i wasnt grateful to have him. And i cant get the idea of SIDS out of my head...im so scared to lose him. I hate falling asleep...before when i was pregnant i would think of how my birth was going to go and how all the events could be played out...it would relax me...now i lay there and i dont know what to think about. It always resorts back to how the birth actually went and it just makes me so sad...im hoping it can pass soon and i can move on.

Jacks 2 wk pedi appt.

Look how tiny i am!

Little man gained 9 ounces in 5 days!!!! He's now 6pounds. Im so happy that hes gaining weight since i didnt know how much he was actually getting with nursing, but i must be feeding him milkshakes! :)

Nuero wise he checked out just fine. She said to focus on that rather then the "what if's". He goes back on the 19th.

The first week (and a half)

Jack is wonderful. He's doing the typical eat, sleep, poop newborn routine. He's still nursing like a champ and its causing no pain! He's only had one rough night where he wanted to nurse every 10 minutes for 5 hours, causing Miss Mama to be a zombie. I do pump if he doesnt nurse for a full 15 minutes so last night pete and i tried to have him to do a feeding so all id have to do was get up and pump and go back to bed instead of staying up for an hour and a half nursing, changing him ect. Well it didnt work out...the bottle made him gassy and he wasnt satisfied so i had to nurse anyways...so an hour and a half later i went to bed while pete snored...its OK thought i felt so bad i didnt nurse him in the first place...i really do love it.

Pete has been just fantastic! I have no idea how im going to do everything when he goes back to work! He makes all my meals, is doing all the housework, taking care of the dogs ect., ect., plus he changes diapers and bonds with "monster". He's such a wonderful father and husband...im truly blessed.

Jack had his pedi appt. on wednesday and he weighed 5pounds 7 ozs. which i was told was good but i was hoping he'd be more. I think hes gained since then (lets hope since hes attached to me 18 hours out of the day!) We go back monday for a follow-up.

On friday he got circumsized and i was a total wreck. But he made it through just fine and its healing beautifully.

Emotionally im still kinda iffy. Yesterday i was fine until i talked to my mother (long story) and today i think i broke down at least 5 times. They are tears of frustration, joy, anxiety, happiness, shock...you get the idea. I know this is all normal right now. I just cant help but look at Jack and tear up...esp now that i know what caused the hemmoragging and that the infant mortality rate is 75%! Jack has always been a miracle but now he is even more! Im so thankful he is OK. But i feel like whereever i turn there's something or someone telling me he may not be. Like yesterday i got a letter saying he passed his hearing test but he needs to retake it at 6mo. b/c of his low apgar scores...come ON, something ELSE?!

I just want to enjoy my lil man...im trying not to dwell on the "what ifs" and focus on what is going on NOW (him acting perfectly normal).

Oh, and i know alot of my friends read this (but dont comment!) so im letting you all know id love for you all to come down and visit so please call (dont worry about waking me or Jack) and tell me when your coming....i want to show him off!! :)

We've got a baby boy! :)

Jack Eugene born 9/19 6pounds 1oz. 18.8 inches

i need to sit down and write out a detailed birth story even though its something im actually trying to forget....but heres the short version

cervidil was placed at 1050pm.

I took an Ambien and woke up at 3am with contractions...nothing too bad but enough to know they werent "just cramps".

Cervidil qas taken out at 500 and we were transferred down to L&D at 615

my doctor came in at 630 to check me an break my water

water was broken at 635

Jack was born by emergency c-section at 642am..i felt everything

when my water was broken i guess the blood vessels to the placenta were embedded into the amniotic sac so Jack and i started hemmorraging.

if it wasnt for my quick thining OB and the fantastic NICU doctors, Jack wouldnt have made it.

His apgars were 1,2,2..which is not good at all.

He was intubated and transported to NICU...i saw them working on him and knew it wasnt good..when they transported him to NICU theydidnt even let me see him...thats when i lost it.

i waited so long for this moment and he was ripped away from me and i didnt even get to SEE him!

Since the tears are now coming i cant really write too much more about that...i will soon though.

But in the end Jack ended up doing wonderfully!! He was off the vent by 3pm that day and everytime they did bloodwork it kept getting better and better. He needed a blood transfusion and numerous saline boluses to replace all the fluid he lost.

He as able to come up to my room just 36 hours later...everyone was in shock on how well he did.

We have to follow up with a nuero doc and he may get placed into Early Intervention b/c of such a rough start. He may have some Nuerological problems down the line, which is really stressing me out, but right now he is acting like an appropriate newborn - whew!!

We got home on Sunday and things are going really well. He is nursing like a champ and barely cries. Im doing OK pysically...still in some pain. The hardest part has been accpeting how he was born. Im so thankful he is OK but im seriously traumatized by the events of his birth. Im cried for 2 days now and i just wont let him out of my sight...i know this is normal now..but im so frustrated that this (giving birth) couldnt go right since it was so hard to carry him!! I know that sounds petty..im working on it.

Tonights the night!!

Well im a fingertip dialated, 75% effaced and baby is low...woo-hoo!!!

The doctor was very happy with that along with the fact that im contracting. The hospital will call me sometime tonight to tell me when to come in. When i get there they will give me Cervidil and monitor me overnight and check me in the morning. Depending on the progress overnight ill either get my water broken or start pit or both.

Im very anxious right now and i just want to be there and get this process started!

Im planning on posting pics and my birth story on here after i have him...we are bringing the laptop to the hosp.

Please wish us luck. OH MY GOD!!!!

37 weeks - FULL TERM!!!

Oh thank goodness! I remember thinking back to April when i started hemmorraging at 13 wks that this day would never get here...and here it is! This pregnancy by far has not been easy. Physically wise its been fine...no major heartburn, didnt throw-up, sleep hasnt been so bad...i've really enjoyed feeling pregnant.

On the other hand though...the shots 2 x a day along with the 4 finger pokes, the constant monitoring, the STUPID diabetes (i cannot WAIT to eat sugar again!), the worry over the bleeding, the lack of growth in Jacks legs...then lack in growth overall, worrying about the clotting d/o and hoping i make it to delivery day with a healthy LIVING baby...I AM DONE! I want him OUT, OUT, OUT!!!

I know i'll always worry b/c im a mom but, this part NEEDS to be over. I just want to see him, touch him, smell him...hear him cry, dress him, play with him, nurse him, see pete with him, see how the dogs react, see what he looks like. I am so ready for this to be OVER.

I will miss being pregnant, dont get me wrong. I'll miss feeling and seeing him move, the looks i get from ppl in public, like im some kind of cirus freak (im just pregnant people!), the attention i get from Pete, the excuse to take naps...i wish i could say the excuse to eat whatever i want but that didnt happen....oh how badly i want an oreo cookie shake!

Im so excited that this time next week ill be updating with my birth story instead of telling you all my symptoms and worries. This has def been a long road. Im ready to have my little family and start down a different path. 4 more days...

last growth scan

i def got a peanut on my hands!

his guesstamated weight is 5lbs 9 ozs., his femurs are still 4 weeks behind (which actually relieved me since i was worried they were going to be even further behind). He is measuring 35w2d (im 36.4) last u/s he was 3-4 days behind now he's 9 days. I dont know if this considers him IUGR or not. I also dont know if the doctor will call me tomorrow to go over this or if we'll talk about it on tuesday.

Im not too concerned with all this since i was 4-6 at birth, my sister was 6-4, my mom was 6-0 and my gram was 6-8..my dh was only 7-0 also. So we have small babies. Im just concerned since he consisntently keeps lagging more and more behind in growth with each u/s.

either way, we'll see what his real weight is in a week!

36.3 appt update - GRR!

I HATE it when doctors change their minds!!! So now it looks like next wednesday is the day instead of this friday, i know its only a couple days but UG, i was SO CLOSE! I just want this baby out - im so scared something is going to go wrong with him.


So i get that news, and the doctor tries to talk me into waiting the 26th and i think my exact words were "are you kidding me?!" He's the one whose been telling me all along we need to get him out as soon as term hits and now hes changing his mind?! I told him "Nope, were doing wednesday and thats final!"


And i lost 3 pounds IN A WEEK! I have never lost 3 pounds in a week, even with diet and exercise and here i am 9 months pregnant and i cant gain weight for the life of me ( i havent gained anything in 2 1/2 mo....just lost)! He said he didnt care unless i was measuring small...guess what? IM MEASURING SMALL....oh do the worries end (i know they dont!)? So now i have a growth u/s tomorrow night to see whats happening in there. If it seems like Jack has IUGR(restricted growth) then the induction may be moved up. thank goodness i get biweekly nst/bpp's cause i think id lose it!


its always something...

36 weeks :)

Well ill be perfectly fine if my water breaks right now! I NEVER thought id get to this point, but here we are! I still have all the aches and pains but surprisingly have been sleeping fairly well. He's definately lower as i can feel him put pressure on my cervix here and there.

These past few days are dragging and im just trying to get to tuesday to see if its definately going to be friday or next wednesday. Either way the most ill be waiting to meet my lil man is 11 days!

Yesterday i went to the salon and got my hair done, got waxed, and got a pedicure so im all beautified for the hospital.

So now we just wait for Tuesday for the final say...thank goodness my appt is 7:45am so i dont have to wait allll day :)

looks like he'll be here NEXT week!!

Well ive been thinking 9/19 all along but today the doctor said:

"when you come in next week, we'll set up the induction for the end of the week!" So it looks like 9/14. I'll be 36.6wks so he should be just fine but there is a small chance that he may need some NICU time. But i can handle him being in NICU for a few days, but i cant handle losing him.

My appt was good. Still havent gained any weight since the stupid diabetes diagnosis so im still at about 15 pounds (according to the docs scale, 13 according to mine). Jacks HR was perfect, my BP was perfect, i had some protein in my urine but he didnt seem to care since everything else was fine. The GBS culture was done (no biggie) and im not dialted yet...drats!

I go back next tuesday and will hopefully have the finalized plans for the induction! YAY!!

tons of pictures!

35 weeks...he's in the process of kicking me so thats why my face looks distorted!

belly button still hasnt popped out!

Nursery pics:

SHOWER pics (my side of the fam's..didnt as many pics as i'd of liked)

me and curry

Adam and Sage

the race is close! :)

DECORATIONS:

wish i had before pics!!

35 weeks!!!!!!

We're getting close!

I am VERY uncomfortable now. About 80% of his movements are really hurting me, i can barely stand for more then 5 minutes, i just cant get comfortable. I love it all though and im so excited that in about 2- 2 1/2 weeks im going to meet my little man. I also love the pain b/c i know he is growing and getting stronger.

We are ready for this lil guy. Everything is washed, put away, assembled ect. We just need him :)

My BPP/NSTs all were fine this week. Im going tuesday for 35wk appt, were ill get my GBS culture done and an internal exam (im so excited about this, even though i know its very unlikely anything will be happening).

Oh and dont worry im posting a belly pic for today along with some more shower pics...so check back later for those :)

34 weeks :)

3ish more weeks! Im so excited!!! Things around here are just about finished. The only main things left are the curtains for the nursery (which my mom is coming down this week to do) and one REALLY good cleaning of the house.

Today we went to our All Day Childbirth class. Didnt learn too much but found out some good ways to relax, so thatll be helpful.

Overall, im still feeling pretty good, uncomfortable, but good. My tailbone feels smashed and bruised along with my bladder. Ive been getting some pretty sharp pains in my left side but learned today its round ligament pain, while i thought it was from Jack kicking something. Jacks movements are also becoming more and more painful but they still make me smile. My feet and hands are very swollen and im also getting restless legs at night.

We are meeting 2 pediatricians this week. We're going to see just 2 b/c these are the 2 that are consistently being recommended. I also have my BPP/NST tests too.

So thats it...i CANNOT wait!! :)

let me explain :)

Sorry i forgot to explain wha a BPP and NST are! lol

They both check on the well-being of the baby

BPP - is a Biophysical Profile...its an u/s that they measure the amount of fluid around the baby, his activity (he needs to make 3 good movements in 30 minutes) and see if he is practice breathing for at least 15 seconds.

NST - is a Non-Stress Test. They strap 2 monitor on me, one to measure uterine activity and the other to measure Jacks heartrate. I also push a button whenever i feel him move. When he moves they like to see his heartrate go up 15 points and then fall back down to baseline, he needs to do this 2 times in 20 minutes.

So now you know what im talking about :)

33.5 wk appt and BPP/NST

Overall everything is good.

BP 120/60, weight is -1.2 pounds...so my total is now 15 pounds overall...i keep losing weight now that im on this GDM diet! Urine is fine, measuring on target, Jacks heartrate was 160.
He said "your growth u/s was right on target" i was like "WHAT?!, his femurs are measuring 4 weeks BEHIND!"...and he said "well, your short arent you?"...lol. So he looked it up in his little book and Jack is in the 3rd percentile for his legs (they want it in btw 10-90%) and 10% is 6.0 and Jack is 5.7 so the doctor said we are talking not even a half an inch! So that made me feel better, then he said that since the head and belly are measuring a few days ahead thats even better. He said he'd be more concerned if Jack was measuring 4 weeks behing overall. I guess the only real indicator for short femurs is Downs but we know Jack is healthy b/c we did PGD. So the doc told me not to worry about it...so i "wont" :).

The we talked about induction. He is going to start doing internals at my next appt along with the GBS. If im not dialated by 37wks, he said he can still try to induce but if im rock hard i can opt to do a c/s. I know this is very controversial but i know all you ladies understand that with everything i went through to get here once im term, im done with the worry and just want the baby OUT, no matter how it happens. Im terrified that i made it this far and have something happen, so im all about the elective c/s if it comes to that.

After my appt. i went in for a NST and BPP and lil man was ALL over the place...passed with no problems..the nurse also checked his head placement and said "wow, this kid is LOW!" :)

So 3 1/2 more weeks or so...WOW!!

Growth u/s

Lil man is living up to his name! He's measuring 32.6wks (im 33.3) and weighting in at 4 1/2 pounds which is the 27th percentile which is all good. But his little legs are meauring 4 weeks behind (they were 2 wks behind before) so im trying not to stress about it, hoping its just genetics. I go thursday to talk to the doctor.

Sometimes being under the microscope causes more worries then needed!

33 weeks!

We're getting there!! :) :)

Im still feeling pretty good but the uncomfortable stage is definately rearing its ugly head. I cant stand for too long b/c all the pressure i feel in my girly regions is just too much! My tailbone, hips and the ligaments are aching more and more. Jacks kicks also are more painful now...but i love it all :)

This week i had 2 BPP/NSTs and lil man did great..phew! My appt with the Lovenox doc went well and ill be starting on Heparin at 35 wks...if im on Lovenox i cant get an epidural so since you never know how labor is going to go i wanted to at least have that option so if i end up with a c-section i wont have to be put under. This week i have a BPP/NST on monday and thursday, a growth u/s on tuesday and my OB appt on thursday. Crazy amount of appts!

This weekend was my side of the families/friends baby shower. My mom and sister did such an awesome job, they made the garage an outdoor theme...it was great. We got alot of the eesentials. Im so appreciative of everyone and their generosity!! Im so amazed all of this is happening. So now i get to putter around in the nursery and put it all away once we do the returning and get a few more things. When i did laundry this week i washed my hospital clothes and put them in the suitcase...that was surreal!!

32 wk update/belly and shower pics!!

Our baby shower for Petes side of the family was this weekend. We got so much and ALOT of the big things, we are so appreciative and im still overhwlemed that *I* had a BABY shower!!

Its why i Love him :):

My gram made this quilt! This will be cherished forever!!

Surrounded by presents!

Cute pic of us :) I dont know if you can see it unless you enlarge the pic but petes shirts says "Look what i did" with a stick figure of a pregnant lady, lol :)

my gram, mom, sister, sage and me!

32 wk belly pic!

Sorry it took me so long to update but as you can see, it was a busy weekend! The shower was beautiful my SIL did a GREAT job! It went by so fast, i had so much fun!!! Next weekend is my families and friends baby shower, im so excited. :)

Im feeling pretty good. Having a much harder time getting around some day but its not all the time. My ligaments are REALLY sore in my pelvic region and pregnancy insomnia is hitting more frequently but its OK :) I just lay awake and feel Jack move all around....and i mean ALL around! My bladder feels like a vice (or a 4 lb baby) is squishing it..ouch!

Last Thursday i had my first NST/BPP. Little man passed the BPP in minutes but was sleeping during the NST so it took alittle longer and the nurse had to keep coming over and rubbing the monitor to try and wake him up. He was moving like crazy right before she put the monitor on but he stopped as soon as she strapped me in, lol... he always stops when someone else touches me, lol.

This week i have an appt with the lovenox doctor to figure out when we will switch over to heparin. I also have a NST/BPP tomorrow and friday.