Dreams DO come true!

THEY ARE HERE!!!

The quick details: On July 18,2011 at 35.5 weeks Sam and Lily arrived at 531p and 532pm. Samuel Edward was 5lbs 6ozs. 17 inches and Lillian Mae was 4lbs 14ozs. 17 1/2 inches. They had apgars of 9,9 and 8,9. No problems and came home with us!

All the details:

For those that were following this journey you know that at my 32 week u/s it was discovered that Sam had IUGR. Since then i was going in 3x a week for monitoring to see if he was OK still inside the womb. On July 18th i had one of these appts. They were measuring his blood flow through his umbilical cord. They found a 95% restriction. After measuring it over and over and finding normal readings the MFM doc thought itd be best just to deliver bc we were just about 36 weeks and the risks far outweighed the benfits at this point.

The MFM doc called Dr. B and he told us he would deliver us at 5pm that day. It was 11am at this point. Pete and I were shocked, but prepared for this. I was so nervous how the babies would do on the outside and about the c/s in general. Pete and I drove around Providence so he could tie up some lose ends for work and then we went to Target to pick up a few things for the hospital.

I went home and took another shower and off we went. We had to be at the hospital for 3p. I waited for a good hour in the waiting room. Each minute felt like an eternity. I had mixed emotions. I was SO READY for the pregnancy to be over, but i was also scared about what was to come. I also felt guilty that i didnt hug Jack a little longer that morning since it would have been the last time for just the 2 of us..ever! I kept having flashbacks of Jacks delivery and tried to ignore it and just kept thinking that "i have gone though so much, THIS has to work out!"

They FINALLY called me back and di the whole admission process. Once the anethieologist came in and put in the IV, everything felt real. Dr. B came in and was so laid back about the whole thing, everyone was. I felt like screaming at people "im about to get cut open and have TWINS and everyone is walking around like this is NO.BIG.DEAL." I wanted it all to be over and just know everything was going to be OK.

OK so the IV is in and Pete is able to sit with me for about 3 minutes before they took him away again (ahh). They wheeled me to the OR and i thought the room was teeny tiny. Everyone was dressed in toothpaste colored scrubs..it was very strange, like i was in an UFO or something. I slide over on the table and the spinal went in (the anestiologist was awesome and very reassuring). I felt my legs go all warm. I could feel people touching me but no pain. It freaked me OUT. I didnt want to feel ANYTHING!! But the anethiologist kept reassuring me everything was normal and OK.

They they told me they were going to "test" me. Oh boy, cue the anxiety! I felt the pressure and i kept wait ing for pain but i didnt feel it. I heard dr. B says "we're about the start."..I asked where Pete was and he was sent over to me a minute later. It felt like 10 muntes passed until I heard them say "we are at the uterus"..."its clear fluid"..."ITS A BOY!!". Sams warmer was right next to me so i saw him get wiped down and heard his cry right away. He looked great and didnt need any assistance.

Then Lily came out. I couldnt see her but i heard her cry. I told Pete to go over to them. He looked at me like "really? i can do that?". Everything was SO DIFFERENT this time. Pete was able to cut the cord on Sam (there was too many people around Lily). He got to hold them both and bring them over to me. It was all so surreal. I couldnt believe they were OK and the pedis left the room. They were able to stay with us!!! They were perfect! Sam looked ust like Jack and Lily is such a dainty pretty girly girl. Whenever they told me the wweighted i was like "really?" Sam was BIGGER by a half of a pound! But it was his cord in the end that was causing the issue so it all was a good this.

I went to recovery for 3 hours and i felt good. My mom came in to meet the babes and to see for herself everything was OK. I just ket saying over and over"i cant believe this!!"

We went up to the pp floor and were on a an adrelaline rush. Alot of people came in to visit (i work on the floor at the hospital). We feed the babies that night. We both were in complete awe and in shock! Jack came the next day and he was so excited! He loves on the babes throughout the day and asks to hold them all the time.

I felt great the day after the surgery. I was up walking around, no pian, felt like a whole new person without 10 pounds of baby in me! Then....I was sitting on the bed fedling Lily and i felt a warm gush..my insicion had opened up. They ended up having to reopen me (in the bed), take out a hematoma and restaple me (without drugs!). It was awful. Its been 11 days and today i finally got the staples out. We are hoping it doesnt get infected or open back up now that the staples are out.

Being home has been great. The babes lost alot of weight in the hospital so i have to pump and add calories to their breastmilk and im supplementing with 24 cal. formula. So far they are gaining weight. Sam is maybe 5 lbs and Lily is around 4-6 right now. We wake them every 3 hours to feed and last night we started letting them wake up when they are hungry. If one wakes up at night the other is waking up too. During the day we do a 3 hour schedule.

I am so in love. I wish i could love on them both all the time but its not easy with Jack and another babe to take care of. I look forward to feeding times and bathtimes since i get to spend the most time with them then.

I am so happy and LOVE every minute of them.

Im so glad this journey is over. My family and my heart are now complete

35 weeks!

I have a feeling this may be my last weekly check-in. Since Sunday night i've been having inconsistent painful contractions. Sine they were so infrequent i waited to tell my OB until my appt today.

First the routine stuff was fine. I lost 2 pounds so im back to where i was 2 months ago. So ive gained 29 pounds if i go by what i weighed before the IVF cycle. My BP was fine. I had trace protein but since BP is good then no worries. My blood sugars are also fine and im still diet controlled.

So i told him about the ctxs. He could see i was having them. He checked me and i was 100% effaced but no dilation. He said "i think your having babies today!"...what?!?! So i went over to Triage and i felt fine. They hooked me up and i was having ctxs every 5-8 minutes, some pretty pretty strong! By the time they came back in to check me they hurt pretty good...no change. They gave me a shot of Terbuteline and that calmed them down. I got to go home to hopefully buy me a couple more days. Its been 9 hours since the meds and the ctxs are slowly coming back.

Im pretty impressed with myself to have made it this far! I know if they come now they most likely will be in the NICU for about a week but im trying to think positively that that will give me tine to recover. I really do think it'll be sometime this weekend. Jack says the 19th...we'll see!

34 weeks!

OK before i start this post im going to apologize on how whiney im going to sound!

I HURT! And i mean H.U.R.T! It started basically the day i turned 34 weeks. I cant walk without holding onto something, it feels like my pelvis is breaking with each step. My back is spasming (which hurts like hell). The Braxton Hicks a tad more frequent and more intense, ive had a few that have woken me up in the middle of the night. I was in so much pain last night that i was dreaming i was in the hospital getting pain meds...My belly is so low (both babies are now head down and so low that they have a hard time finding them on u/s). I have no real signs of labor coming. I think im just feeling the effects have having 2 5ish pounds babies inside my tiny 5-1 body frame.

Aside from all my aches and pains i am SO THRILLED that ive made this far and each day feels like a major accomplishment. 36 + weeks is still my goal..which is 7/20.

Sams Update:

We went this past monday for our doppler flow u/s and everything looks great. We go this monday for a growth scan and if Sam doesnt grow enough and his cord flow looks crappy then im off to the hospital for bedrest so i can get continuous monitoring. Both babies have passed all NSTs/BPPs with flying colors.

So my next goal is to make it to Monday for our ultrasound.

33 Weeks!

Looks fake doesnt it?

So this week was pretty eventful. So ill try to break it down

Last Thursday we had our growth scan. Lily was 4lbs even and looked great. Sam was 3lbs 10oz. The tech didnt say anything to me with there being a concern. They were 150g apart so i thought all was good.

After the scan i had my appt. I finally gained weight and everything looked good, so i thought. Turns out Sam is in the 9th percetile. Off to MFM for a better u/s.

Go to MFM on Monday. I seriously thought they were going to do the scan and say he's fine. Nope, he's now in the 6th percentile (only grew 1 oz from 4 days prior, whereas Lily gained 9). Well its 2 different machines and a different tech so im trying not to read into that too much.

They checked his umbilical cord to make sure the blood flow was normal, it was PHEW! They also found his kidney to be slightly dialated so now we have to talk to a urologist about what that might mean. They also had a genetic conselor come in and tell us it could be a chromosomal issue...WTF?! I seriously wanted to run out of the room!

MOst likely he's just small and he's a twin. The dialated kidney is only .2 over the cut-off...he most likely will grow out of it. These people wanted me throw me over the edge i swear! Im so nervous about the c-section and having twins in general i DID NOT need that! Thank God Pete came with me (he wasnt going to since it was a long appt) bc if they threw all that at me by myself i would have LOST IT!

UG! Anyways...so Sam has IUGR (intra uterine growth restriction). Thats the lovely term they give to babies who are under the 10th percentile. (lily is in the 49th now...she showing whose boss :) ). I also had a NST/BPP that day and they both passed 10/10.

So the plan is:
BPP/NSTs 2x a week...Doppler u/s's 1x a week, growth scan every 2 weeks. If anything looks concerning then they will talk next steps.

My next doppler is next Tuesday and my next growth scan is 7/11. Pete thinks they will take them on the 11th..thats his "hunch"...he better be wrong!

Im really hoping to make it to at least 36 weeks..just 3 more weeks!

32 weeks!

Still hanging in there! This week my aches and pains are just magnified. My back is starting to really hurt, my left leg goes numb when i lay down ro sit for too long, my feet are swollen to the point i can actally feel the fluid move when i walk (ICK!). My belly is so low and heavy it hurts to stand and when i lay on my sides my Round Ligament KILLS. My Round Ligament is so tender it hurts to touch the side of my belly.

These kids move all the time. They are most active at night and early in the morning. Thier movements are starting to hurt. Sam moves so hard he shakes me whole belly. They both ricochet off my hips bones (very weird feeling). Sam pushes so hard it looks like i have a growth sticking out of me! Oh and the hiccups...Sam has them quite a bit and it seems once he stops, Lily has them.

I had alot of appt this week. First i went to the Endocrinologist for my funky fasting blood sugars (100-110). Basically he told me im "on the edge" for insulin but thinks i can control it through diet. My meter also seems "off" so he gave me a new one. I am now only allowed 30g of carbs for each meal but i can have 2 snacks after dinner plus i can have a snack in the middle of the night to help my fasting number. I havent had one number above 100 in the am since! woo-hoo!!

I had my OB appt yesterday. It was overall good. First i had my growth scan. Lily is 4lbs and is still measuring 4 days behind my due date (has been since 18 weeks). SHe is in the 23rd percentile. Sam is 3lbs 10oz and is in the 9th percentile, measuring a week behind. Once they are under the 10th %tile they need to look more closely. So im going Monday to MFM to get a BPP/NST (will have these 2x a wk now) and another scan (they have better equipment). Dr. B said ill prob have scans every week or 2 all depending what they find until i deliver. Otherwise everything else is fine. I measure 40 weeks now, i gained 3 pounds (finally)..so now im up about 30 pounds if i go by what i was before the IVF cycle. My Bp was 128/60 and my urine was fine. I dont go back to him until 7/14 since hes going on vacation (pray these babies dont come until he gets back!).

During the scan the tech commented numerous times how much hair Sam had! She showed it to us and it really was alot! Lily has "some". Sam is stretched out on my right side, head down. Lily is in my ribs on the left side, breeched and all curled up. Their legs are measuring behind (28+ for him 29 for her). I think this is what is bringing their weights down. Jack legs were measuring 6 weeks behind when i had him- he was 18 inches at birth.

So fingers crossed everything looks good on Monday.

31 weeks!

This is starting to HURT! Im still functioning but its getting tough. Standing for longer than 5 minutes is a big feat right now. My belly is so heavy i can carely stand it. My ribs hurt, i cant breathe, my heartburn is pretty awful somedays, but its all worth it and as much as it hurts im so thankful ive made it this far and still walking around!

My belly is growing by the minute! Im amazed at the difference just 3 weeks ago! None of my shirts fit and i refuse to buy anything else so im alternating btw 2 that somewhat fit and summer dresses. Im wearing summer dresses from last year as shirts and those are even starting to get too small!!

Since my belly is growing by leaps and bounds it is SO itchy! Its also COVERED in stretchmarks. I also have little capillaries on my belly that have burst. My belly will never be sexy again...

Im going tomorrow to the endocrinologist regarding my fasting blood sugars. Ill most likely be put on insulin. My numbers during the day are fine. I even had 2 pieces of pizza today for lunch and it was 87 after.

30 WEEKS!!!!!

This picture came out awful but you see the belly so thats all that counts!

I had my OB appt today and things are still going well. My BP was 118/66, i had some leukocytes in my urine but he didnt seem to care. I told him my blood sugars are not so great in the morning (my fasting ranges from 100-110). So i have to go to an endocrinologist to see if i should start insulin. I have lost 1 pound so ive gained a total of 22 pounds. Babies are growing though..im measuring 38 weeks! I go back in 2 weeks for a growth scan and another appt.

Im still feeling the same physically. My tailbone, pelvis, hips HURT. I have a hard time walking sometimes. Braxton Hicks rear their ugly head about 5-10x a day.

Mentally im a mess. My hormones are RAGING! Im usually a sensitive person but i feel overly sensitive and feel like i could cry at a drop of a hat. I guess its good this just started happening vs. right from the beginning. My poor husband just keeps his mouth shut (smart man) but others in my life dont know that i dont want their opinions about things. And if you want to throw any kind of criticism my way..ill scream!

My brain is also shutting down. The other day i came out in the living room to get a towel from the laundry. I grabbed the REMOTE. I took my shower and got out and looked for the towel instead i saw the REMOTE on the toilet! LOL! oh vey!

We made a big step this week and bought a MINIVAN!! 5 years ago i never thought id have babies and i now drive a Minivan!

29 weeks!

better late than never :)

Still feeling good. Tired, sore and uncomfy but grateful and functioning so i have no complaints! The GDM diet is going OK. Im still learning what i can and cannot have. My fasting numbers need to be 100 or below and im always in the 100-105 range. I dont know if that will make me go on insulin or not. I was always a little over with Jack too in the morning and i didnt end up on it. I go see the OB next week so ill ask then. My after meals blood sugar is always around 113-120ish. If its above 120 its only slight (i think the highest was 124). Ive had a few meals that has really spiked it. I guess having onion rings with a hamburger bun wasnt the best of ideas (145)..opps! But i did have a kiddie size ice cream this weekend and it was 113 after... I weighed myself this morning and im down 2 pounds. This same thing happened with Jack. I ended up losing weight for the rest of pregnancy once i went on this diet.

We went car shopping last night. We test drove 2 minivans..both Odesseys. I LOVED the second one. It has 48000 miles on it tho. They have another at a different dealership that doesnt have all the bells and whistles for a few thousand less with 15000 less miles on it. Im going to call to see if they can bring it to them so i can test drive that one. I also want to test drive the Quest. I cant believe im getting a minivan!

The floor in the garage will be done this weekend so it will officially be DONE! So the following weekend we'll be able to move our bedroom down the basement and start the nursery. So everything should be done by the end of the month!

Hoping this month goes by quickly bc we are having babies NEXT month!!

28 weeks!

28 weeks is another HUGE milestone when it comes to pregnancy. YAY!

I didnt update yesterday because i had my OB appt today and was going to be findong out alot of info.

First off:

Growth Scan... Sam is 2lbs 4oz (1090g) Lily is 2lbs 5oz (1140g). I might be off a bit on the grams but thats approximate. They are still measuring 4 days behind my due date but im not worried about it. I didnt ask about my cervix measurement but Pete said he thinks it was 3.1. The doc didnt say anything so im not too worried about it. Pete said all measurements were 28.1,28.4 but their legs are in the 26th week. Jack also measured like this so their femurs are what is making them measure behind.

C- section Date... July 29th at 3pm!

Glucose test... I failed. I knew i was going too. No surprise there. Ill get my glucometer and such this weekend and start the diet tomorrow.

The appt... My BP was great 118/60-something, urine was good, no change in weight. Im up 23 pounds if i go by what i was the day of egg retrieval. And im measuring 36 weeks.

I go back in 2 weeks. Im still feeling the same. My hips, tailbone and ligaments in my groin all really hurt by the end of the day. Bending over is a joke. I pee 50 times a day (no lie). But all par for the course and i wouldnt change it for the world.

Keep growing babies!!

27 wks/ 3rd trimester/ 70 days til Full Term!!

Crappy pic but you get the idea.

Im so THRILLED to FINALLY be in the 3rd trimester!! 70 days til im term which is super exciting. Every week that goes by i feel so blessed im still hanging in there. Im still feeling the same. These ligaments HATE me when im standing and thats making it difficult to do much for very long. My hips are starting to get really sore at night. When i wake up the hip im laying on is on fire. When i roll around in bed im now getting some severe Round Ligament Pain. My bladder is also cursing at me and i feel like im in the bathroom more then any other roomin the house.

I still havent heard when my section will be. I told her i preferred 7/29 so im hoping ill get that date but it could be 8/3 too. Either way its one of the 2. I go back next Thurs for a growth scan and an appt. So ill find out then. Im also doing my 3 hour test next Wed. (fun). So ill know for sure if i have GDM again next Thurs.

Awww, Man..

I had my 26 week appt yesterday. Everything looks good. My BP was 122/68 ( i rechecked it at CVS today and its 110/68 so that makes me feel better, since im usually 110/60's). I measured 32-33 weeks and im up 6 more pounds - total of 23 pounds so far. I am now going every 2 weeks!! When i go back in 2 weeks ill have another growth scan.

After my appt. i was sent over to the lab for the glucose test. I felt like CRAP after i drank the ubery sugary drink....the crappy feeling lasted all day. I felt super tired and just plain ol yucky. I got the phone call today that i failed ...UG! The cut off is 140 and i was a 166. I failed it with Jack too, i think i was 148 with him. I failed the 3 hour with Jack as well and HATED the GDM diet. I asked my OB before the test if i could just forgo the 3 hour if i failed since ill most likely fail it. When he called today he gave me the option to test my sugars for a week and see what happens. I think ill just do the 3 hour...as much as it sucks. So im guessing that will be sometime next week. Hopefully ill be able to eat slightly more carbs this time around since i have twins so it will be more tolerable. The only good point to the diet last time was i lost 8 pounds after i found out i had it and weighed less after i had Jack then when i got pregnant. But im not planning on that happening this time.

Oh, and i filled out the paperwork to book my c-section!! They said it will either be 7/29 (37.2) or 8/3 (38). It has to be 37+ weeks. Hopefully ill find out the exact date next week since i didnt hear from them today. Hoping i make it to the date- whatever it is, but ill be happy with anything over 36 weeks.

26 Weeks

These were taken on Mothers Day so im few days shy of 26 weeks, but close enough.

Things are going well. Im feeling good. I just get tired by the end of the day. By the time 5pm comes i am counting the minutes for Pete to come home so Jack isnt 100% my reposibility. My ligaments BURN when im too active or standing for too long. I seriously want to stick ice in my pants to ease the pain.

The babes move all around. Sam seriously jumps and kicks all the ime. I probably have 2-3 hours of silence from him. He has hiccups all the time too. My whole belly bounces and i can feel him richocet off my hip bones. His legs are right under my ribcage. havent had any ribs kicks...yet. Lily is still much more quiet but she has her moments where she stretches and tries to move her brother out of the way. She seems to have the attitude that she freaks when shes had enough. I wonder if their personalities will be similar once they are on the outside. If thats the case i think Sam is the one who is gonna give me a run for my money but Lily seems laid back like Jack.

Heartburn is getting worse. I think i took 6 tums the other day. My feet are starting to get swollen. Im still able to wear my wedding rings. My heartrate goes alittle haywire sometimes (around 120)...i gotta talk to the OB about that tomorrow.

Im hoping at my appt. tomorrow ill find out more about when the c-section will be. Im guessing in the 37th week because of my prior history of Vasa Previa and im on the blood thinners. We'll see.

25 weeks!

Im so excited to finally be "getting up there!". We've got about 3 more months left and i hope they go by quickly! I just want these babies out and healthy. I hate my pregnancy anxiety. I dont have one day that doesnt go by that i dont have the countdown in my head.

At the same time, im so sad my one on one time with Jack is becoming very limited. I know he's going to be so happy and such a good big bro but i still worry about his transition.

Im feeling pretty good. Just large and uncomfy. But im still functionable. Im getting the strange stares out in public and some say "you dropped" which scared the poop out of me but, i carried low with Jack so i think its just how i am pregnant. The babies are moving all over. I still feel Sam much more but when Lily kicks she gives me some pretty good jabs. I pee about 4 times a night and my ligaments in my groin BURN when i stand for too long. All worth it though :)

Last night Pete and I went to BRU and got some little things like bibs and breastpump assesories. It was a fun little "baby date" since my mom had Jack for the night.

Progress is being made in the garage and im hoping by Memorial Day we can move our bedroom downstairs and we can start on the nursery.

24 Weeks!!!!

Had to throw in a pic of Jack fishing. My FIL gave him a fishing pole a few months back and he's been asking everyday to go. Pete took him a few weeks ago and as you can see, he loved it!

24 weeks!!!! YAYAYAY!!!! This is Viability week. If the twins were born now they have a chance at survival.... but they better stay in for another 13 weeks!! But its good to know "count" now.

This pic was taken on Easter so its a few day shy of 24 weeks but close enough.

Im actually feeling pretty good. Weeks 16-22 were tough bc of the sciatica,But thats calmed down so im doing more now. Im feeling more Braxton Hicks as time goes on. I get prob 5 good ones a day. I hate them, they scared the crap out of me!! My stretch marks from Jack are starting to get bigger and brighter. I noticed this around 20 weeks and now i have about an inch extension on them.

I went Monday ( 23.5) for a growth scan. Both babes weighted 1.3 pounds are are measuring 3 days behind. But thats ok with twins..as long as there isnt a huge gap between the 2 or they are in the 10th percentile. Everything else looked good so that was a huge relief! Ill go in for another scan in 4 weeks to check on them. Sam is now head down and Lily is breech. So all the pokes i get in my bladder and by my belly button is her. She puts her hands over her head like
Jack did. She also still has an anterior placenta so i dont feel her as strong as I do Sam. Sam gives good swift kicks and my whole belly moves when he's moving - which is alot. I wish i could feel Lily more :(

23 weeks!

Another week down! One more week until a huge milestone - 24 weeks which means if they are born they have a fighting chance but of course i want them in for another 14 weeks!

I had my OB appt last Wed. and everything looked good. My BP was 114/60, i measured 27 weeks, both babies heartrates were nice and strong. Im doing my glucose test next visit on 5/12. I had Gestational Diabetes with Jack so if i dont have it this time i will be shocked!! I go next monday the 25th for my 24 week growth scan. The appt are going to start getting to be more frequent now. Which is good, cause it will make time go by faster!!

Im actually feeling good this week. My sciatica seems to have let up a bit. Being able to modify alot of my activities has def. helped. I do my stretching the PT gave me and i rest when im tired. Dr. B took me out of work for the rest of the pregnancy so thats a huge stress relief! By 5pm im done though. My ribs are killing me, my hips cant take much more pressure and im just plain out exhausted. Thankfully Pete does Jacks bedtime routine so i get some time to relax. Pete has also been great at planning dinner. He's been doing alot of crockpot meals and such. We are def. a good team and i got a great guy!

Ive been trying to take Jack out and do things before im too huge and uncomfortable to do anything. We went to a bday party and to the movies with my sister and neice this weekend and to the library yesterday and today we are going to Kidz Wurld to see baby animals. He told me the other day he wanted friends to play with...im working on it buddy LOL.

I do feel guilty that i feel so uncomfortable this pregnancy and im really not enjoying it much. I love my belly and feeling them move all around but, i hurt. I just want to be 36 weeks and almost done. Pregnancy is such an anxious time for me, i know all to well what can happen so im scared to death. So each day feels like a blessing. I still cant believe this is happening...TWINS!!

22 weeks!!

Not the best picture as i was running out to Target and it was pouring out so i really didnt care about my hair and Pete wasnt home to take my picture.

Anyways 22 weeks. I feel like ive been pregnant F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!! I just want to be in a safer zone. Im so sick of being nervous. Im constantly counting down the days. People tell me the 2nd pregnancy goes by faster cause you have another child. Wrong. The days are dragging! I feel once i get to 30 weeks itll start to go a little faster.

Physically im feel ing better then a few weeks back. Im going to PT 2x a week and the chiro once a week. At PT they have been doing some deep muscle massaging and that has been glorious! I still have days were im in pain but its much more managable now. I def cant go back to work but im not crying everyday, so ill take it!

My stamina is pretty much gone. I can no longer breathe like i use too. I sleep with 5 pillows so i dont feel like i have an elephant on my chest. I get up to pee about 3 times a night and getting out of bed is an Olympic event.

Being pregnant with 2 is sooooo differnt then when i just had Jack hanging out in my belly. Jacks pregnancy was fine physically wise. I never really felt uncomfortable. This time...DAMN! My body hurts everyday. By no means is this a bitch feast, im just stating the facts.

Jack has been awesome through this. He is so excited. I am nervous about how this is going to impact him but i know he's gonna love it once things settle in. I miss my little guy too. I havent really held him in months, i cant take him out and do things like i used too. We cuddle on the couch and i lay with him at night but i miss the "big run and jump into my arm type hugs". I miss Pete too. Im so unconfy and tired that by the time he gets home im so done with the day i have no energy and i go to bed around 8.

This is all worth it though and itll all be a memory and ill have everything i always dreamed of! (and id do it all over again in a heartbeat)!!

20 weeks!

YAYAYAY!!! This is a huge goal for me. My next one is 24 weeks...28 days.

This past week was exciting because i can finally feel these kids move much more consistently. I feel Sam quite a bit but only feel Lily here and there (she has the anterior placenta i believe).

My sciatica is still a constant problem. Ive gone to PT 2 times and havent felt much relief. I guess its sticking around.

I went to my OB Med appt yesterday and i am now doing the Lovenox 2x a day. I hate these shots but its for a good cause. She wants me to get my TSH checked bc my thyriod looks enlarged but its always enlarged and my levels are always fine. Ill go next week so the results will be available when i go to my OB on the 14th. I go back to her on 6\28 to change over to Heparin. I really hope i make it to that appt still pregs.

So thats it!

19 weeks

Here's the belly :) Growing by the minute! I dont think there's too much of a difference from 17 weeks, just looks like they moved up a bit. Im feeling good. The chiro did some technique on my pubic bone last week and that helped alot. The sciatica is still a PIA (literally) but im able to tolerate it - for the most part. Im noticing that doing things wipes me out fairly quickly and i get winded easily too. Another majot symtom ive had since like 6 weeks is i am so stuffy! I have been blowing my nose and spitting up mucous for MONTHS! Sexy, i know...

My mom came down the other day and helped me clean. That was a HUGE help (thanks mom!). We're starting to tackle the to-do list. We ordered a shed so we can put stuff from the garage into it. Since we live in a 2 bedroom house we need to do some major rearranging. Our bedroom is going into the basement and we are turning the detached garage into Petes office (he works from home). The twins will then go into our room. The garage is going to be a HUGE project and most likely will take a good 2 months. We're gonna be cutting it close. We cant move our bedroom until its finished bc theres a couch in our basement that has to move first and it can move until the garage is done. SO all of that is causing a wee-bit of stress.

Oh we decided on names... Lily and Sam. Petes loves Lily and so didnt Jack and Jack picked Sam. He heard Pete and I talked about boy names and he heard Sam so he's been calling the babies Lily and Sam as soon as we found out it was B\G...so we went with his suggestion. lol. They are classic and simple names, just what i wanted so im happy :)

Since we just painted our bedroom last year im going to keep the color. Its a very pretty blue. Im just doing breathable bumpers (one pink one plue) and getting cute sheets for them. Im sticking with the brown\blue theme for Sam and Pink\brown for Lily. I got some cute sheets for Sam and Lily too. I also found some really nice soft blankets thats match as well. Im going to get letters for their names with those colors and hang above their cribs. Im also going to paint our dressers an "expresso" like the cribs and put nicer knobs on them. Its the same set Pete had growing up so its 25 yrs old and needs some updated and maybe ill FINALLY get an adult sized dresser!! Wooo-hoo!!

Ok enough rambling!

Mothers Intution

It's a BOY and GIRL!

I slept ZERO last night i was so nervous, anxios and excited. I really just wanted everything to check out healthy- and it did!

When we got there we had to wait an hour before they finally called us in! Then she kept the screen towards her during most of all the measurments. After about an hour she finally told me Baby A was a BOY! I was so happy Jack would have a brother. Then it took about an hour for her to tell me baby B was a GIRL! This made me a tad emotional because i wasnt expecting to actually have a girl..believe me i would have been thrilled with 2 boys too..but im glad i get both experiences :)

Lily (or Charlotte) weighed 8oz. and Sam (that could change) was 7 oz. One has an anterior placenta and those other is "on the bottom" so im padded all around my uterus so thats why im not feeling them as prominently as i thought i would.

Everything looks good, im so relieved.

After the appt we stopped at Iparty and got the ballons Jack is holding to tell him about his baby brother and sister. He is so excited :)

18 weeks!

I had an OB appt. today and everything is looking good. My BP was 116/60. I was measuring 23 wks. The babies HB's were both in the 160's. I gained 4 pounds since last month, which right on target. He wants me to continue to gain a pound a week...eek! But i know its for the babies. Im still out of work because of the sciatica and the pelvic pain. I start PT on the 22nd, hoping that will give me some relief. Dr. B told me i most likely wont be going back to work, which is completely fine by me!

Movement is still only here and there. I wish i felt them move more, hopefully in the next couple weeks. I do get some pretty good jabs every now and then. I think im not feeling it so much because im still numb where my section was with Jack.

Friday is the big day to find out whats cooking. Im so excited and just hoping everything is healthy in there! My in-laws are coming to the house to watch Jack while we go so we are going to stop at IParty and pick out 2 ballons that say "It's a..." and bring them home.

17 weeks!

Yup, im huge. Thank goodness i have a big butt or i think ill topple over in the next few months! Everything is going well. The sciatica and separated pubic bone is getting worse and worse. I think i may need to start PT but i dont have anyone to watch Jack 3 days a week for only an hour. Other than the pain im doing well. Waiting very impatiently for my Level 2 which is next friday.

We've made some progress on the name front. If its 2 girls it most likely will be Lily and Charlotte ( i also like Violet) but doing Lily and Violet, i was told, is kinda corny. For boys Jack likes Sam and keeps going over to Pete saying he wants that name for his "baby brother"...Pete seems like he's caving. We'll see. If its another boy itll probably be Grant.

16 weeks!

Feeling good, no spotting for 2 weeks now. The only thing is my hips, pelvic bone and sciatica REALLY hurt! Im having a hard time doing much for more then 10 minutes. By the end of the day i can barely move. I've been going to the chiro but its not doing anything. Ive been stretching too with no real relief. But, it's all a small price to pay. I feel like a wimp that im already having such a hard time this early on. Im gonna be a mess in 10+ weeks! Even though im 16 weeks i still cant let go of the fear. I have dreams constantly that i may lose these babies. Im afraid of PTL, incompetent cervix, super prematurity. Im really hoping to get to at least 34 weeks. If i can get into the month of July still pregnant, im gonna throw a party! I really wish i was just niave and dumb but ive seen/know too much about pregnancy. Each day im thankful i made it through. I make it through my anxiety with all of this by setting goals. Here are my goals 3/15 OB appt - CHECK 3/17 St. Pattys Days - CHECK 3/18 Level 2 u/s - CHECK 3/20 1st day of spring - CHECK 3/22 PT appt. - CHECK 3/29 OB med appt - CHECK 3/30 20 weeks - CHECK 4/1 1st day of April- CHECK 4/6 Petes bday CHECK 4/7 Imagination Movers Concert CHECK 4/14 OB appt 4/16 bIRTHDAY PARTY 4/15 Tax Day 4/24 Easter 4/27 24 weeks 5/1 1st day of May 5/5 Cinco de Mayo 5\14 cousins wedding shower 5/20 Moms birthday 5/25 28 weeks 6/1 1st day of June 6/8 30 weeks 6/21 1st day of Summer 6/22 32 weeks 6/28 OB MED appt. 7/1 1st day of July 7/4 4th of July 7/6 34 weeks 7/13 35 weeks 7/20 36 weeks 7/27 37 weeks As i get more appts and such through ill add those too. I like having alot of goals so i feel like im getting somewhere quick. Ill check these off as the time goes by. I cant wait for my Level 2. I cant wait to name these kids!!

15 weeks!

Another week down!

I *think* i might be starting to feel movement but, it could just be my imagination or gas lol. The nausea still rears its ugly heads every few days but lasts for not long as all. My whole pelvic region and hips hurt real bad as the day goes on. I went to the chiro yesterday and she adjusted me, i felt OK for a few hours and then i was in pain again. Thank goodness im out of work, i would never be able to run around the hospital like this.

Being pregnant with twins is def. different then a sigleton! I dont know if its cause ive already been pregnant and my body is just going right back to where it was when i delivered Jack or what. But i feel alot more uncomfortable then i ever did with Jack.

I havent spotted for 4 days (knock on wood). Im hoping to get my Level 2 u/s date sometime this week. Im dying to know who's in there!!

Out of Work.

For a month at this point. Im still spotting. Yesterday was suppose to be my appt. but my OB was out delivering a baby. Thankfully he did some office hours this morning for the appts. he missed yesterday.

He did my exam and i definately have a "friable cervix". He took a q-tip and touched it he said "oh yes, it def wants to bleed just with that". He checked to see if i was dialted or anything and im not - thank goodness! This is most likely going to stick around the whole pregnancy. So as long as its not bright red and heavy im going to try not to freak out.

I go back 3/15 and by then ill have my Level 2 u/s and see if i have Vasa Previa again. This is the life threatening complication i had with Jack. Its when blood vessels from the placenta cross the cervix so when your water breaks you and the baby hemmorrage. Jack was in the NICU for 3 days getting blood transfusions and his apgars were only 1,2,2. It was bad. I'll get the u/s date sometime this week.

He did a quick u/s and everything was fine with the babes. Both measured 14+ weeks so all is good!

14 weeks!

Its been a stressful week for me. Im still spotting here and there and it is driving me NUTS! It just brings back all the fears i had with Jacks pregnancy. By now, with him, i was on bedrest.

On Friday night at work i had a super busy night and didnt stop at all. At the end of the night i had another gush of brown goop. This was after not spotting for 4 days...ug! Thankfully i work at an OB hospital so i ran down just to get a quick scan to make sure everything was OK...it was (phew!). I have what they call a "friable cervix". Apparently any activity, coughing, sneezing, bowel movements can cause some spotting. Since its brown blood they told me not to worry (HA!). Thank goodness i have my doppler...that thing is my lifesaver!!

I started spotting again yesterday (still brown) but it picks up quite a bit when i work - really wishing i had a desk job right now. Also while working my hips ache my belly gets heavy and i just get so tired really quickly. I dont know how much more i can take.

Im going Friday for my OB appt. So im going to tell him my concerns about working and see if he'll take me out. I worked til 13.3 with Jack so i bypassed that! I was hoping to make it to 20 weeks but i dont think its going to happen! He may keep me in since the spotting isnt associated with the babies but he knows my history so hopefully he'll understand where im coming from.

Other than that im doing well. Hormonal migraines have taken over the nausea. I still have major food adversions and prob will never eat certain foods again once im not PG...like bagels, doritos, chips, anything gluten free, chicken noodle soup, tortilla chips. Pizza has been the my major craving, spinahc and fruit come very close to 2nd.

Ill post a belly pic at some point but right now i have a headache and im not showered.

13 weeks

My ass is officially bigger than my belly! Im sure in due time my butt will look teeny tiny compared to how big this belly is going to get!

So 13 weeks!! woo-hoo :) The spotting thankfully stopped yesterday. Im super exhausted and have no idea how im gonna work the next 2 nights 3-11. I need to nap everyday but usually cant b/c Jack no longer naps. Once Pete is done work, im done! Headaches are awful. I usually have to take 2 doses of tylenol and a can of coke to ease them. But ill take this all in a heartbeat!!

I swore i felt some movement a few times but its not consistent at all so maybe it is just gas. Im getting anxiously excited to find out the genders, name these babies and feel them move. Thats when the pregnancy will seem much more real to me.

My gut is its a boy and a girl. Im really liking the combos:
Charlotte and Cole
Lily and Gavin
2 boys: Cole and Gavin
2 girls: Lily and Charlotte

I havent said anything to Pete yet...figured we'll talk about it when the gender scan happens. He, on the other hand, likes italian names like Gio, Gian, Rocco and Henry for boys and for a girl he likes Lily (but hopefully ill win with Charlotte since im the one carrying these kids!).

Middle name for boy will be Edward (after my Dad) and Mae or Rose - mom and GM middle name and if its 2 girls one MN will be rose b/c my Dad was throwing roses at me when i talked to a psychic.

Next appt isnt until 2/18.

Mother F^&ker!!

So yesterday i felt fine, went to the bathroom and noticed some brownish discharge...W.T.F?!?! My heart SANK. It was only 730am so the doctors office wasnt open yet...so i had to wait an hour to call. Thankfully they got me in for 9:30 (after i kinda had to beg, cause brown spotting is "normal"...oh HELLS NO!) Sidenote: i work as a nurse at the hospital my doc works at and he's been with me through alot of my fertility drama... i think this helps - one benefit on having a private doc. They KNOW you!

So anyways, i get there, the spotting is minimal but im slightly nervous. He does the u/s and we see the babes moving all around right away with great heartbeats - PHEW! He did a vag exam and said my cervix is irritated...Pete and i had sex the 3 days prior and that same day i had a vag u/s then the morning of the spotting i had some awful mucous caught in my throat and i was coughing and hacking for a good 10 minutes. He said all those things are probably playing a role in the spotting. He gave me some antibiotics for the green mucous ive been hacking up for weeks now.

Since he did the u/s and the vag exam the spotting picked up last night into this morning. I took the weekend off of work to focus on this healing. Laying around all day and feeling every twitch had been driving me berserck. I rented a doopler today to help ease my fears and hoping to get it by wednesday. This all bring back my awful bleeding episodes i had w/ Jack.

I hope by Monday its completely gone so i can go back to enjoying this pregnancy!

12 weeks...the secret is out!

Ok i think this picture is awful! i feel (and think) i look alot cuter. I think its the angle. Im going to try and post a pic weekly. I cant even give you a "before" pic cause i was huge from the get-go b/c of the OHSS. But here i am in all my glory. FYI im only 5-1 so its going to be quite comical to watch this progression!

Here are "Dora and Boots". This was at our NT scan last week. The pics i got this week didnt look like anything so these are the best i got. Arent they cute?

So 12 weeks woo-hoo!!! I know the 2 T is technically 13.3 but im thrilled with 12 weeks. The nausea is still here and there but nothing like it was weeks 5-11. The prominent symptoms these days are super awful migraines. I have them just about everyday. Tylenol and half can of coke is suppse to help. Well i did that 3 hours ago and i can still barely stand without my head pounding. Im also super tired and just want to lay around all day..no motivation at. all. Im anxiously awaiting the 2T energy boost. I remember feeling awesome with Jack then, hoping that happens again. It def. doesnt help we have about 4 feet of snow on the ground and i think all of New England has cabin fever.

Tuesday was my last ulrasound with Dr. P. I gave her some wine and a card and the staff some brownies and a card. It was a bittersweet day. Im glad to be moving on and taking the next step. I see Dr. B on Monday. Im hoping to get the "big" u/s appt then.

Telling People

This has actually been quite funny. Since i had OHSS i have looked a good 4-5 mo. preggo even before my positive beta. Everyone i know that i see at work, all my friends, family know i've been going through HELL to have a second baby. Im very open about my struggles since that how i cope. I was out of work until i was close to 6 weeks due to the OHSS...everyone knew i did IVF (had to get a bunch of days off and do switches w/ people...and its kinda hard to hide my medication bag).

When i went back to work i had the worst nausea IN.THE.WORLD. (ok maybe im exagerrating but it was awful)...pair that with small tiny room that smell like feet or patients that eat ethic food...i looked green most of the time. So my big belly and my constant running to bathroom to dry heave gave me away in an instant. Plus my co-workers are like my BFFs, nothing gets by them...so they all know.

My family...well besides the obv. of our parents and siblings i hoped to keep this on the DL until the 2T....BUT i went to a xmas party with my big ol' belly walking in before me...cat out of the bag.

My friends...well alll my good friends who know i was going through all this kept tabs on me and knew my dates for tests and stuff...so no secret there.

So whose left? Extended family and Facebook. Which putting it on FB will tell the extended family (and the ppl that are my "friends"). I am so tempted to put up my NT Scan pic of the twins but Pete said not yet (he has been WAY more quiet about this then me and im pretty sure even his "good" friends dont even know). So once i tag that u/s pic with his name on it...surprise!!

I just want it out there. Im so done with being "cautious" i want to enjoy this. Ive worked my ass off to have this pregnancy. I know that technically the 2T starts at 13.3wks but im pretty sure that if my scan on Monday still looks good im letting the news out once i hit 12 weeks which is 2/2. I have all my u/s pics and belly pics ready to load on here but i cant do it until i upload them from my phone which the only way i can do that if posting it on FB first. Ive tried emailing them to myself but its not working ..grr!

So Monday im saying "goodbye" to Dr. P...i hate that :( She has been so great to me. I wish i could stay with her through it all. But ill be off to Dr. B who i also love but, he doesnt have a Vagina and has never been pregnant so he doesnt really "get it"...But he saved me and Jacks life and he knows my history so im sticking with him. Im going to give Dr. P some homemade wine that Pete made and the staff some baked goods with a card for each. Of course Dr. P's card is going to be all sappy. Its bittersweet. After these babes, we.are.DONE. And THAT is going to be one good feeling!

11 weeks and NT Scan

At this point the 2nd trimester is teasing me! Im feeling somwhat better nausea wise, its 50% of the day now vs. 100%...so ill take it. I still have major food adversions and nothing but pizza has been sounding good to me. That and fruit. Im exahusted - more like "foggy" all day long. Im so thankful Jack is 3 and not 18 mo. or this would be ALOT harder!

I went yesterday for a quick scan with my RE and everything is still trucking along.

BABY A measured 11.0
BABY B measured 11w2d

I may go back for one more scan next week but i might not since that will be 3 u/s's in a week!

Today i went for my NT Scan. This scan was abdominally (thank goodness cause my vag. needed a break from those damn probes!) According to this scan both babes measured 11 weeks on the nose. Baby A nuchal measurement was 1.2 B was 1.0...so both great! PHEW!!

10 weeks

Im a day early but i figured id update with my u/s news too.

First off: Both babes are doing great! Both measuring 10w (a day ahead) with a HRs of 169. It was so cool to see the babies today, they were moving and wiggling all around...i wish i could stay there all day and watch them.

Im still feeling icky with headaches, heartburn, tiredness the whole 9 yards that the 1T gives you. The nausea def. wins the race though.

I go back next week for another u/s.... this will be my last RE appt! Im excited about that but i LOVE my RE, i wish i could stay with her the whole time... I have to call my OBs office to schedule the NT scan.

I also went to OB MED and im now on Lovenox 40mg x1 a day. Ill start to wean off the PIO next week so in about 10ish days ill be down to one shot a day woo-hoo!!

9 weeks!

Still got all the same symptoms...im dry heaving at least once a day now. But i feel yucky all day long. It should be ending soon.

I went to Target yesterday and got some clothes that will actually fit me. My shirts no longer cut it. Even though it still just feels like bloat but i can tell my lower abdomen is getting fuller and heavier. I look like i did with Jack at about 14 weeks. Im hoping the bloat will lessen once i stop the progesterone 2 weeks.

I made my OB MED appt for next tuesday reguarding the heparin and that day im also going in for another ultrasound. Dr. P said she'll continue to keep seeing me until Dr. B takes over so im guessing ill get one more ultrasound after next week.

Im so ready for the 1T to be over....but im thankful there hasnt been any complications!!

8w5d ultrasound

We still have both babies with 2 heartbeats!

BABY A: measured 8w5d HB 185
BABY B: measured 8w6d HB 176

Im still suffering with 24/7 yuckiness, heartburn, exhaustion, now headaches. But ill take it all in an instant. The doc told me to take a unisom and B6 at night since my nasuea is the worst then.

I called my ob today and they are not seeing me til 2/7..ill be 13w6d! I wanted to do the NT scan so i think i need to call them back to schedule that.

I go back next tuesday to make sure everything is still OK!

8 weeks!

Still nauseous...it seriously is 24 hours a day. I cant sleep, walk, talk, smell ect. I couldnt even go into the kitchen today b/c something in there was setting off my gag reflex and i kept dry heaving in the sink. I had to have my mom stop at Mcdonalds on her way down to get me a egg mcmuffin cause i couldnt go in there! I am now eating what i can and totally for- going the gluten free diet. I NEED to eat and all those meals are making me sick...the smell alone drives me over the egde. I actually feel a tad better cause im getting more into me.

Some things that have helped me with the m/s....potato chips, jolly ranchers, sea bands, ginger ale, putting snacks at the bedside

The exhaustion has hit too.I sleep whenever possible. I get so tired my body aches.

Heartburn is here...been showing up pretty much daily. Weird since i never had it with Jack.

My bladder can now hold a gallon of urine! i am amazed on how much i pee at night and for how long! lol

Oh, one more thing, i ALMOST have cleavage! lol woo-hoo :)

im loving all of this though, lets me know the babes are in there thriving :)

Phew!

What a relief...we still have 2 babies with 2 heartbeats!!

BABY A: measured 7w5d (exactly what i am) w/ a HB of 169
BABY B: measured 7w5d w/ a HB of 179

My uterus measures 11 weeks and my ovaries are both the same size as my uterus! No wonder why i look huge!

Everything looks good. I go back next week for another u/s (for my peace of mind) and then the following tuesday. If everything still looks good then we'll schedule one more u/s at 11weeks and then im off to my OB.

Im still feeling m/s 24/7. I havent really puked...just constantly nauseous...but im starving at the same time which is majorly confusing. The exhaustion is also hitting and im sleeping whenever i can. My bras are getting tighter which is super exciting to me! lol :)

Thanks everyone for the support. Im shocked how many people read this. Im trying to keep this on the DL on facebook until the 2T and i appreciate no one letting the cat out of the bag.